Chaos Theory
by Annamonk
Summary: Giles is very ill. Buffy saves him only to wind up with everyone at risk. How will they all survive? What sacrifice will Buffy make for her watcher? The characters aren't mine, but the story is another matter. This is an AU with some familiar aspects. The cover art is by Troy Howell. He kindly gave me permission to use this lovely piece. illustration 1996 Troy Howell
1. Chapter 1

Rupert Giles woke with a scream, wrenching himself up from sweat soaked sheets. He could feel his magic swirl and pull within him, fighting to get free. The pain raced along his spine, and he rose to stumble from the loft to his bathroom on the floor below. "Damned inconvenient, that." He muttered not for the first time.

The trip managed more by luck than ability, he stumbled into the bathroom and groaned. His muscles ached, his joints burned, and his head felt five sizes too big.

He flipped on the cold water and stepped in, trying to let the pounding water relieve some of the pressure. His body shook, and he fell to his knees holding his head. He rocked on his knees until vomit spewed from his mouth like a fountain. He groaned and rinsed as best as he could, just wanting to flee the smell. He managed to pull himself from the tub and wrap a towel around himself as he stumbled to the phone. He leaned against the wall and hesitated. She would be sleeping, and her roommate might not appreciate strange men calling their dorm room in the middle of the night. A wave of nausea swamped him. He hit speed dial one, and waited, listening to the rings.

"This had better be an apocalypse." Buffy grumbled at him from the other end of the line.

His body started shaking again and his teeth chattered. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I know it's late, but it seems I'm rather ill." He managed to cough out.

"I'll be there in twenty. Do you need me to pick anything up?" He could hear her fumbling around even as she barked questions into the phone.

"No, just need you here." He hung up the phone and slid down the wall to collapse on the floor. The cold tile chilled him as sweat poured from his body. The minutes passed in agony until the blackness rose up in his mind and swallowed him whole.

Buffy burst into Giles' apartment at top speed. She had cut twenty minutes to ten, using every bit of slayer speed and cutting across rooftops in a couple of places. She battled her fears the entire way. He had never asked her for a thing, not once. It had to be horrible for him to have called her.

Her throat clenched as she found him out cold, curled, against the wall in nothing but a towel. She crouched next to him, letting her slayer senses take in his condition. He reeked of vomit and she could feel the fever burning within him. She reached out a hand and traced her fingers along his shoulder. He moaned and turned towards her without waking. Her heart skipped in her breast as her eyes took in the scars tracing his chest. His suffering marked so clearly on his body. The guilt washed through her. All of this pain was her fault. Two tears trailed down her face. She pulled back and started to organize her thoughts, putting his needs first. Self-pity and guilt were swept aside as the slayer jumped into action. She took off her sweatshirt and shoved it under his head like a pillow. Her pink camisole would serve well enough for her.

She grabbed a blanket and tossed it over the couch trying to make him a comfy place to lie down. There wasn't much to be done. The couch was lumpy, but better than the floor at any rate. She got him to his feet, mumbling and not really awake, he followed her instructions well enough if she used her angry slayer voice. She grinned as he followed her snarled commands. She arranged him on the couch and gulped as the towel fell to the floor. She blushed from toes to hair follicles and settled him, carefully averting her eyes. She quickly pulled a second blanket over his lap, trying to keep the naughty slayer thoughts at bay.

She ran upstairs and pulled open three drawers before finding pajama bottoms and a white tee shirt to put on him. She checked the bed. It was drenched with sweat. He would need clean bedding. She stripped the sheets and tossed them over the loft railing, even the mattress pad was soaked. She hoped he had a second one somewhere. She was searching for a new set of sheets when Giles started screaming. The sound of his fear and pain sent her running, sure there was an attack in the offing. She jumped over the railing and landed on the pile of sweaty sheets, dropping into a fighting stance, and looking for the threat. She was shaking as she reached out with her senses.

There was nothing, but the neighbors would be alarmed if she didn't take care of this fast. Explaining a naked, vomiting Englishman to the police, even in Sunnydale, didn't sound like a good idea. The enormity of the situation floored her. He was always the caretaker. The last time she had been in control there had been fire and desperation. She longed for some slimy demon with poison talons to fight, but nothing appeared.

"Just a nightmare, no big." She mumbled as she walked over and sat next her watcher. He was thrashing and she pulled him half onto her lap to control his flailing limbs. She patted and stroked him until the screaming stopped. He was sweating and naked, but he had her legs pinned to the couch. There was no easy escape. She looked over at the laundry and sighed.

"Well, you're going to need another bath anyway." She looked at his body, shivering even though the room was comfortable.

It took a great deal of effort and tested her flexibility, but eventually she pulled the second blanket back into place and tucked it around him as much as she could. It wouldn't do for him to wake up with his modesty shot to hell. He was a proud man.

"You will be okay, Watcher Mine. I give you my word." She babbled and made promises for quite a while. Finally, he seemed to be relaxing, so she stayed, running her fingers through his hair until she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Ethan stared at the scene before him and wanted to laugh. There were towels and sheets and a naked Ripper with his head nestled into the lap of his very beautiful and sleeping slayer. If only Ripper were aware, then the chaos would be sweet. Ethan leaned over and secured the blankets around Ripper carefully. He left them on the couch and started to put the apartment to rights. Chaos was his muse, his raison d'être, but not a desired living arrangement.

He put on the kettle and started some toast when he heard the slayer stir. She looked at him from her place half under his dear friend. Anger flamed to life in her eyes. He managed to stand his ground, fighting his natural instinct for self-preservation.

"Buffy, don't move. It'll hurt Ripper if you do. I'm coming to explain." He watched her lean back against the couch her body tense and alert. Even in her agitated state, her fingers danced through his old mate's hair in a soothing fashion. He lowered his eyes and felt thoroughly ridiculous to be standing in this kitchen puttering about as if tea and biscuits would do a jot of good. He knew it was over, all but the telling. He took several deep breaths and wished his friend had enjoyed his life more. Ethan put the tea tray together and walked into the lounge.

"Ethan, if you're behind this I'll kill you." She was practically growling. "The council can hunt my crazy ass and put me down, but I will get you first."

"I have nothing to do with this, I swear." He tried to smile and then dropped to the chair looking defeated. "This is old Rip's fault. He let that damn Council do this to him."

"So you know what's wrong with him?" She started rubbing Ripper's chest in little circles sliding her palm lightly along his flesh, finding comfort in the warmth of his skin and the soft spring of his chest hair.

"I felt it, felt him start to lose control. I don't know why he didn't call or ask for help. I came as fast as I could, but it's too late." Ethan looked down at the Oriental rug upon the floor.

"What's too late?"

"I can't help him. The magic has him now." Ethan watched as she flattened her palm against Ripper's chest, covering his heart.

"Explain." Her voice dripped with authority and power. Ethan felt a shiver run up his spine.

"Sometimes, I find it amazing I have ever thought to take you on." He watched her hand resting possessively on his best mate and felt the futility of the moment keenly.

"Not explaining," she ground out.

"He did things to go back to the Council, to be accepted back, things that have consequences. I didn't expect it to go this fast. I knew it would eventually. You don't mess with his kind of power for this many years without a bite in the ass."

"What did he do?" Buffy dropped her eyes to the man in her lap. He watched her countenance shift. She became the embodiment of tenderness and devotion before his very eyes.

"He forced himself into a mold that doesn't fit, made himself less, so he could be yours." Ethan shook his head.

"Can we fix it? Whatever he's done can be undone or redone, right?" Her voice had gone soft and sweet again, the voice of the girl.

"No." He dropped his head in his hands.

"There has to be a way."

"There are millions, but we don't have that kind of time. Ripper's magic is breaking free, here on the hell mouth. It will be the bloody end of us all."

"Giles doesn't have that kind of power." She scoffed.

"Ripper doesn't use his powers. He bound them up inside in a pretty little bow, so he could fulfill his destiny. All he wanted was to serve you. They could have asked anything of him. He'd have done it. He bound his powers up nice and tight and gave control over his future to those wankers back in Merry Olde. He gave up huge parts of himself to be yours." Ethan snorted.

"He's used some magic around me. How bound can his powers be?"

"He can access them in a limited way, has to save you a time or two. I can assure you; however, you've never seen what he can do, not even close."

Buffy swallowed and looked down at her watcher's handsome face. "Why did he have to bind his magic?"

"The stuffy cult that owns you both would never have let him near you with that kind of power, so he pushed it down."

"Nope, try another. If he did this to rejoin the Council then I wasn't a factor. He couldn't have known about me. There was no me. And they don't own us anymore. We've both quit working for them."

"It comes clear." Ethan leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling.

"What?" The sharp edge of voice was back.

"Something broke the bond. I'd wager all the money in the world it was those wankers. He's fighting it, but without an anchor he'll lose." Ethan shook his head and watched her think. "It's really just a matter of time, Buffy."

"But he used to function with all that power. Won't he just adapt?"

"If it were that easy, he'd be fine. His power has probably grown over the years, and his ability to deal with it has not. How many things did you break when you first got your powers? How many things do you still break if you aren't careful?" Ethan stared at her. He watched her slide her fingers through Ripper's hair, caressing his forehead with a gentle circle of her thumb. She looked down at the sleeping man and sighed.

Her eyes swung to him, the dark blue gray of a coming storm. She didn't see him though. Her sight was turned inward. "You'll help? If we can find a way?"

He nodded. "I'd rather be here and go quickly anyway."

"I won't give up on him. He would never abandon me, and I will not leave him to this fate." She focused that stormy gaze on him again. "Now, stop being such a whiner, and hand me the phone."


	3. Chapter 3

Willow and Xander slammed the door open and rushed into the apartment to find Buffy with Giles' upper torso draped over her lap. Her tiny left hand was resting over his heart. She gestured for them to be quiet and tried to smile.

"Research time. Ethan's already started. He's helping, so no sniping. We may need him. Willow I need you to call Angel, and before you go all silly. It's okay. I've known all along. He would never leave without some way to be summoned if I needed help."

"What do you want me to tell him?" Willow looked at Buffy and saw the panic behind the dictatorial tone.

"Tell him he needs to come here and take over patrols until Giles is well, and tell him to bring whatever help he's got. Something is trying to turn Giles into a weapon." Willow blanched and went for the phone.

"Are you okay, Buffy?" Xander watched her crumple for a moment as she looked down at her watcher.

"We'll find a way." She stiffened her spine. "We have to save him."

"What are we looking for?" Xander nodded toward the books.

"Ethan will have to explain it. I don't get it, but I know we don't have long. He's burning up. Run a cool bath and have Oz bring ice when he comes with the pizza." She never looked up to see Xander scurry away.

"Angel will be here tonight, with his team. They'll stay at the mansion." Willow watched Buffy nod her head.

Ethan eyed the slayer holding Ripper and his mind started whirling. He knew there was an answer there. He just needed to think. He glanced around Ripper's home, looking for the bits and pieces of his friend in the décor. He grabbed some books from the bookcases about Watchers.

"I need to know more about how that works." He nodded his head toward the couch. "I think the answer is in the bond between them, but I don't know how to use it."

"I'll hit the Watcher's journals. There might be something there." Willow looked at Giles and Buffy and saw them in a different light. They were a unit within the group. They functioned on their own. It made her feel strange to see them in that light, to see them as separate, a couple in a weird way. He wasn't the group father. He wasn't their leader. He was Buffy's and therefore theirs. He accepted them because Buffy wanted him to do so.

Buffy kissed the top of his head and rocked him as his body started to shake. She pressed her lips against his ear and whispered something, tears running down her face. Willow's gut clenched. Buffy and Giles were suffering again, and her heart ached for them. Destiny hadn't been cruel enough, ripping away their respective loves. There was always some new super evil focusing directly on them.

"Ethan, I'm going to need help getting him into the tub again." Buffy said softly.

"The things I do for you, Ripper." He muttered as he pushed his book toward the center of the desk and stretched. His body ached from the time he'd spent barely moving. "I'll check on the bath. See what's keeping Xander, and come get you when it's ready."

Buffy nodded her head, but her eyes never left her charge. She stroked his face and talked softly to him as if he were responding to her every word. He'd seen old marrieds less bonded to each other than those two. There had to be some way to use that to their advantage, some power in that bond that could be turned to Ripper's advantage. He headed off to the bathroom to find Xander scrubbing the tub.

"The slayer said to run him a bath, not scrub every surface of the room with lavender scented cleanser. Though she'll be happy you thought to clean it. Buffy obviously hadn't made it in here before she got waylaid with couch duty. I didn't check it out." The older man shrugged.

"There were bits of vomit in here. I didn't want him to have to soak in that. He deserves better." Xander dropped his head and wiped his forehead along his arm. "Can you help me get it all rinsed down? Oz will be here with the ice soon."

Ethan found himself working with the boy in easy silence and wondered how Ripper had found these loyal children. The Ripper he had known would have destroyed them with his carelessness. He would have commanded their loyalty for a time but no more. The watcher Giles had created a family that accepted and loved him. It was disturbing.

"Why do you care about what happens to old Ripper?" Ethan asked, trying to understand something not within his ken.

"Why do you? He's my friend. He would do the same for me. Has done. He came here for Buffy, and he took us all into his life because of her. It went against his training and all that, but it comes down to the fact that once you're his in any form you always will be." Xander turned toward Ethan and waved a sponge at the older man. "I don't know much about you and Giles. I know you were friends at one time. I know he still values you on some level, and you must care a bit or you wouldn't be here."

Ethan watched as the boy returned to cleaning the bathroom. He had figured the lad to be all but brain dead. Now he knew different. This boy with his outward happiness was all heart like Randall had been all heart. He felt a rush of grief wash through him.

"Ripper is lucky to have you lot." Ethan kept rinsing down the cleanser. "I miss my friend, but I'm glad he found you."

"Well, come to save the world or bask in Buffy's glow, join the family. It's what works for most of us. It isn't pain free, but I don't think life can be." Xander turned to throw his sponge into the bucket. "Everyone thinks I'm the comic relief in this group, and hey, I am. Doesn't mean I'm brainless or unobservant. You miss your Ripper, and our Giles is the only game in town."

"Yes, perhaps we could all coexist, if we survive this. Ripper might tolerate me if I manage to save us from this mess, but he'll never trust me with you lot." Ethan smiled at Xander and shook his head sadly.

"Well, your priorities are screwy. The whole chaos thing is weird. He wants to keep us safe, but if you help occasionally and quit being such a stupid idiot, he might loosen up. He let Angel help again, and he killed Jenny." Xander looked at him intently, examining him carefully. "You have to decide what your priorities are."

"Right now, I'd settle for saving Ripper. I'll have to think about the rest." Ethan finished rinsing the tub and looked around the spotless bathroom. "Buffy's going to have to hold him up in the water. How are we going to rig that in this little space?"

Oz pushed the door open and dropped two big bags of ice on the floor. "Get the water running. Buffy is getting anxious. Giles is too hot. I'm going to help her get him back here."

Ethan turned on the water and dropped in the plug. "Does he have bath oils or things like that? Ripper always kept healing bath potions in our flat." They rummaged under the sink and through the medicine cabinet, but came up with nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy slid into the cold water behind Giles wearing her bra and panties. He kept slipping in the water and she couldn't keep him secure any other way. This was definitely an in for a penny in for a pound situation. She knew he would hate her seeing him like this. Weak and vulnerable he could handle, but naked would send him off in a whole new cosmos of wigging. Not that he should feel embarrassed. His body was fit and appealing. She even appreciated all the wear and tear, most of it visible reminders of his devotion to her. His scarred back settled against her chest and she sighed. His warmth was comforting in the cold bath.

She angled her legs so that his arms rested on her thighs. He was so long. Heat flashed through her body fueled by embarrassment at the unthinking double entendre. The pleasant sensation of his body against hers became everything. She measured time by he rise and fall of his chest with each breath. He was still alive, in her arms and still alive. There had to be a way to save him. She tuned her head and kissed his temple. His eyes fluttered, but never opened. She stroked his shoulders and waited for his temperature to fall.

She lost track of time as she continued the repetitive motion, her hand trailing along the edges of his scars. It felt like his body heat was melting her. She closed her eyes and dropped her head back to rest on the rim of the tub. He shifted slightly and turned his body fractionally. The hard line of his jaw settled on the upper curve of her breast just above the scalloped lace edge of her bra. His breath flashed hot across her skin. She took several deep breaths, fighting the urge to shift her body. This was torture, pure torture.

She buried one hand in his tousled hair, and closed her eyes. She had been fighting these feelings for so long now. She had known the night he went after Angelus with the flaming baseball bat, known that she saw him as a man, that she wanted him to see her as a woman. His fresh grief and her trepidation had combined to still her actions. She had shoved down the feelings. She loved Angel, had clung to that bit of insanity to stave off the welling desires. This was just one more battle in an endless string.

She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. It was supposed to be her. She was the one that was supposed to withstand the worst dangers, die if necessary. Facing her fears each night had become second nature, but this fear was too big. She swallowed as she confronted the possibility that this was their last battle. She squeezed her eyes shut and forced down the fear. It had no place in this moment.

She felt his body shift and her eyes flew open as his hip settled against her core. She bit her lip to stifle a groan before it could disturb him. He nuzzled his cheek against the swell of her breasts and skin forced herself to lie still. This was about his comfort, not her unwelcome desires.

"This really isn't fair," she whispered. "I finally get to hold you, naked in my arms and I'm still alone."

There had to be something to fix this, some spell or amulet type thing. They would save him. She would have her watcher back. There would be time to ensure his future before she met her fate. He would survive her and go on. He was still a young enough man. There could be a wife and children in his future, a real life.

"At least, I get to hold you for a little bit."

She let the tears slide from her eyes, just a few before she fought them off. This was all she would ever have. Once they managed to save him. He would look at her through the eyes of paternal love again. She ground her teeth. She was a beloved responsibility for him, more daughter than woman. It might have been different if she had been legal when they met, if Angel hadn't enthralled her young innocent self with his supposed mystery.

She bit her lips. It didn't really matter. Keeping him alive was the priority, all that mattered. She'd let him go, rejoin the Council, be a perfect drone for the bastards for as long as she lasted if they would save him. The tears poured down her face. She didn't know how to contact them, and didn't think they'd really help, not if Ethan was right.

Merrick and Giles had been different than the others. The rest seemed to follow Travers' every command. She wondered if he wasn't trying to kill her, too. Faith was in a coma and she had quit. He must be desperate for a new slayer. What was the point of his existence without a girl to send to her death night after night?

"You know I can't do this without you, right?" She stroked his hair away from her chin. "I need you to wake up and be in charge and under control guy. You always know what to do and when to do it. Well, most of the time anyway."

She closed her eyes and remembered looking into his green eyes at their first meeting. He had been so eager to help her, to guide her. His attitude had changed over time, but the kindness and the joy she had seen in him before he had dumped that horrid vampy book in front of her remained. Her mind flitted through pivotal moments in their lives together. There had been so many times when it felt like the end. In time, this would join the others. In time, she would look back on this moment and be happy for it.

"I know I don't have much longer. I looked through your index of slayers. I've had a longer run than eighty five percent of them. I did the math. I hope I can keep going long enough to graduate college. I'd tie the longest lived slayer in two centuries, that one in New York in the seventies. Seven years would be okay, but not without you. You have to get better. I need you, Watcher Mine." She stroked her hand along his side and let the tears come.


	5. Chapter 5

Ethan looked over the spell he had found. It was not something he could show the others. They would try to stop her. They would talk her out of it. There were too many unknowns. He watched her move around the apartment her still damp hair braided. She was elegant and lovely, a true lady and a warrior. She would take the risk.

He needed her to send the others away. Giles was too far gone to put up a fight, so he just needed Buffy and the ingredients for the spell. He had found the balms and other magical tools in the chest in the bedroom loft. Trust this new Ripper to be so cautious. He tried to figure out how to drive off the witch, the wolf, and the boy without cluing them in.

Buffy headed up the stairs with a bowl of soup on a tray. She stopped at the top of the stairs and pivoted. She looked at them all.

"Willow, guys, wrap it up for the night. You need sleep. I'll need you back here tomorrow after class. I'll stay here. Ethan I could use some help up here before you head out." Buffy smiled and headed into the loft.

He watched the others gather their things and depart. They looked beaten. It twisted in his gut. A few hours spent in their company and he could see why Ripper would give his life to defend them. His eyes darted to the loft. The bane of his existence waited, and he had to convince her to do something she would probably find uncomfortable at best. His shoulders slumped and he started up the stairs.

"So," her voice was small and quiet in the large room. "You found something. I could see you trying to figure out how to get rid of the others. Is it dark magic?"

"No, it's a simple enough, non evil spell." He said.

"But…" Buffy motioned for him to continue with one impatient hand.

"The spell will only work because you have a bond in place, so it has to be you."

"Fine, tell me what to do. We don't have much time. He seems to be heating up again. I don't know how long he'll be able to hold out." She walked back to Ripper and stroked his forehead with her fingertips.

"There are some problems. This spell would make you his permanent anchor. It isn't much of a problem…" He paused and looked at her meaningfully.

"Except some vamp gets lucky and he's right back here with no hope at all." Buffy finished.

"I can adjust the spell to dissipate slowly so he can adjust to his full power over time, but the consequences of the adjustment are great. You will have to face the magic inherent in you and the spill over from him. It will need tending and require some practice."

"That's not really much of a problem. I'll make with the mojo and Giles will be fine." Buffy smiled. "He can teach me all about it."

"I wasn't finished, Buffy. For a temporary anchor system to work, he can't know that you are the anchor. He can't know there is one. If he realizes you are his anchor, others might as well. Then the threat would be too great for him to ignore. Someone removed the ties that kept him safe all these years. We have to figure out who did it without them realizing anything was done to stop their plan. If he knows, then he is in huge danger and so are you. I can wipe his memory of the spell, but you will have to stay alive and keep the secret until he can handle it all on his own."

"Okay, not loving the lying to Giles, but I'll do it to save him. What do we have to do?" Buffy looked up at him with hope in her eyes.

"You'll be doing the spell, Buffy. It's sex magic. There's a incantation and some symbols I will have to draw on your bodies first, then you'll have to complete the act with him to symbolically deepen your bond." He watched her turn a startling shade of red as his words registered.

"So, sex with Giles and he won't remember." She bit her lip. "I can live with it. Does it have to be full on sex or can I just…" She pointed to her mouth.

"It has to be the full on sex. I am sorry. I know this can't be easy for you, but the sooner the better."

"He isn't really very, uhm, responsive. How am I supposed to do this? I mean I get the basic mechanics, but I don't know how to get the job done without his help." Buffy turned a deeper crimson than he had imagined possible. "I've only ever done it the once."

"The spell will awaken him, or at least enough of him to assist in the endeavor." Ethan watched as she bit her lip. It bothered him to watch her debating this. How precious was her damned virtue when a man's life hung in the balance?

"Is this rape?" She asked. "I mean he can't say yes or no. I'm making the choice for him."

"There won't be a rape. It's a symbolic act, part of a spell, a living enactment of your mental and emotional bond." So, she wasn't bothered by the intimacy, but the ethics. Interesting. She was pacing like a caged tiger. "He would understand, Buffy."

"Yeah, but it feels off. Would Giles choose this?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"If Ripper had no other option." Ethan nodded. "Buffy, he is a pragmatist in action even if it is in service to a higher purpose. He always does the necessary. He stopped Randall because it had to be done, killed him because there was no choice. He would do this to save your life because saving you is his only real goal. He is yours completely. It's why I've hated you since before you were born. He left me for you, left me to serve you without any knowledge that you would ever come to be."

Buffy nodded and chewed on her lips at the same time. He watched her, knowing she would do it. He had seen that look on her face before, determination and conviction. It was her duty to save Ripper, and she wouldn't shirk it.

"I don't like keeping it secret from him, but I'll do it. What do I do and how?" She squared her shoulders and looked up at him with determination in her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Buffy looked into the loft from the top of the stairs, and bit her lips. There were candles casting a golden glow through the room. There were some flower petals circling the bed. It was lovely, romantic even, but Ethan was painting Giles' body with the symbols in the dark stain he had made in the kitchen. It kinda ruined the whole ambiance thing.

She looked down at her body, at the symbols Ethan had painted on it. They tingled on her skin. She closed the robe a bit tighter. Ethan had done his best to respect her modesty, but she was still uncomfortable with how much of her he had seen. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. Killing something would really take the edge off, but there was no time for a patrol.

She would save Giles and she would have this night. There wouldn't be a morning after. She looked away and closed her eyes. Maybe that was just the way it was supposed to be for her. She bit her lip and fought off the tears that kept threatening to fall. She clutched the little scrap of paper in the pocket of the robe.

Tomorrow he would be normal again. He would be her watcher and he would be safe. She squared her shoulders. Tomorrow they would have breakfast and she would tell him the story she had concocted with Ethan. Everyone would believe her. She took several deep breaths.

Ethan came to her and looked down into her eyes solemnly. He looked as weary as she felt. She moved to pass him, but he caught her arm.

"Buffy, the part of him that will be with you isn't gentle. It isn't the man you know. He'll probably be more like Ripper than your Giles. Ripper never gave a damn about his partners." He closed his eyes and compressed his lips.

"I get it, Ethan. I get the id, not even Ripper. I'm the slayer. He's human. I'll be okay." She smoothed the robe. "Just put on the music after I say the incantation and try not to listen."

"I'm sorry, Buffy." She looked into his eyes and she could see that he was upset. She ran a hand down along his clothed arm, trying to comfort him. She shrugged at his incredulous look.

"You're sure he won't remember this?" She gestured toward the room and blushed.

"I'm sure. This is his best chance." He said and looked at her with sorrow. "You are his best chance."

"How will I know if it works? I mean I know we talked about everything, but how will we know?" She bit her lip.

"You'll have a mark, like a tattoo on your skin." She could see Ethan flinch as she stiffened. "It'll be his magic that makes it. I won't have a thing to do with it."

"He might notice a tattoo. He is fairly aware of the things I do, ya know." She said sarcastically.

"If it is notable, I'll mask it with a spell. Or teach you how to cast a glamour. He won't know. No one will." Ethan reassured her. "You know they will believe your story. I've certainly earned their distrust."

"Just so they're safe. Well, as safe as they can be in Sunnydale." She took a deep breath and he handed her a handful of flowers.

"You need to close the circle with them, say the incantation, and" She glared and his words stopped. "Yes, I am quite sure you can handle the rest."

He stepped past her and started down the stairs. The butterflies in her stomach turned into giant airplanes. She looked at the flowers in her hand.

"To each battle its weapon." She moved into the room and dropped the robe before stepping through the open spot in the flower circle. She used the flowers to close the circle and took several deep breaths. Ethan had covered Giles up with a sheet. She could see the symbols on his arms and face. Stupid spells were always so convoluted. You couldn't just say things in plain English. No it had to be Latin or some Latin like crap.

"Ego me libenter offerre, Fortitudo mea corpus, Tuus ego sum, Teneor, Tuus ego sum, Tenemur, Totus tuus ego sum" She took a deep breath and moved toward the bed as her watcher's eyes opened. Music turned on. It was a Cream song. She watched as her watcher stretched his long body like a great cat, lithe and graceful. He looked over at her and smiled, but it wasn't his usual smile. It was predatory and knowing. Her mouth went dry as she took the two steps to bring her body flush with the bed.

He didn't say a word as he pulled her down to him for a kiss. Buffy stiffened and tried to pull away. She turned her head and his lips slid across her cheek. Panic set in and she clenched her fists against his chest. Angel's mocking words flowed through her mind. Maybe she wasn't any good at this. At least he wouldn't remember it. He moved suddenly and she tensed. This wasn't going well. She cringed as he moved again and she felt his erection press against her hip.

"Giles, please slow down." She pushed him away and turned to face him with her arms extended, holding him off. "Let me get used to this."

He stared at her for a moment and then reached out using his longer arms to gather her towards him. The need to break away from him was so strong; she clenched her eyes shut and fought the urge to shove him back. This wasn't Giles. She wanted him. She opened her eyes and studied the beloved face staring at her intensely. Her watcher was in there, somewhere. She let out a breath and let him draw her close. He was so warm and she cuddled into his embrace. His hands stroked along her skin and she nuzzled into his chest, peppering him with tiny kisses. He pushed her onto her back and settled next to her trailing his fingers along the paint lines on her skin.

"You look lovely, Buffy." She looked up from watching his fingers play on her skin and gazed into his knowing green eyes. No words came to her as he stroked down her body and rested the palm of his hand against her hip. "I want you to scream for me."

"I will do whatever you want me to do," Buffy shuddered as the words flowed from her. She hadn't meant to say it, but she knew it was true. She bit her lip and looked at him through her lashes. The predatory smile that played across his face entranced her. This time it called to her. She felt her own lips curl.

"Say the words again. Say them so I know you mean them, Buffy." He stared at her intently and she nodded.

"I offer myself freely, my strength," she said and stared into his darkening emerald gaze. She swallowed and forced the words past the lump in her throat. "My body. I belong to you. I am bound. I belong to you. We are bound. I am completely yours."

She felt the paint on their bodies come alive. She looked at their joined hands and noticed the paint was glowing and moving on their skin. Sliding from one to the next and back again. She swallowed and looked back into his eyes. God, they were beautiful. She swallowed and he smiled. He pulled one hand from her body and stroked the side of her face with tender fingers.

"You are mine, Little Slayer. Mine." He bit the scar on the side of her neck and she screamed as heat flowed from him into her. An inferno bloomed deep in her body. She gasped and writhed as he held her steady with the hand on her face. A whimper broke as his other hand parted her delicate folds and slammed into her. He released her neck from his teeth and panted next to her ear. "I'll make sure you never forget it."

She trembled as he swirled his fingers inside her. No one had ever touched her like this. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. He buried his hand in her hair and pulled her mouth to his. She shivered in his arms as their lips met. He plundered her mouth with tongue and teeth. She felt his body shift next to her and he stretched her further with another finger. Something was breaking in her.

"Say it, Buffy. Say it again." He looked down into her eyes as he spread her legs apart with one of his. Her mind whirled. Reality was his body and his voice. She moaned and he nipped the skin along her jawline.

"I am yours. I am completely yours." She gasped as he yanked his fingers from her body. He smiled at her and licked each glistening finger as she watched, fascinated.

"Say it, Love, all of it." He shifted above her resting his weight on his elbows and knees. He was so large. She could feel his erection sliding against her folds.

"I offer myself freely, my strength, my body," she whispered as their gazes locked. He pressed the head of his erection against her heated core and she whimpered. "I belong to you. I am bound. I belong to you. We are bound."

He thrust deep into her and captured her scream with his mouth. She could feel the magic flowing between their bodies. She reached up and pulled his body closer to hers.

"I am completely yours," she said as she wrapped her legs around his hips. He rocked into her and she gasped and buried her face against his shoulder. She could hear him speaking to her, but she didn't understand the language.

He thrust into her with a ferocity and power that made her reel. She pushed back and looked deeply into his eyes. He stroked the hair back from her sweat stroked brow and kissed her with the gentleness she had expected from her watcher even as his body thrust into her with abandon. He pulled back and smiled at her as she felt her body tense up. Every part of her became a living fire. Her mind fractured and spun as her body erupted beneath him. She dug her hands into the sheets and she heard the fabric tear as his movement became frenzied.

"I love you." The words escaped her and he froze as his body spilled deep within her. He bent down and kissed her again. His tongue caressed hers. He pulled away and stroked her face.

"You are mine and shall ever be, Love." He smiled as she nodded. "You are my treasure, my gift."

"Watcher Mine," she said and pulled him down to her for another kiss. It was a sweet melding. The ferocity of their coupling had faded and the gentleness was all the more appreciated in its wake.

He pulled back from her and looked down at her with such joy. She felt his hands stroke her as he slid from her body. She looked down their bodies. The paint was gone. The unnatural heat seemed to be buried inside her. She closed her eyes as he nuzzled her cheek and pulled her into his arms. She sprawled, half across his body, replete.

"Slayer Mine," he whispered as he kissed her temple. "My Buffy, I love you."

He drifted off to sleep as tears slid from her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Ethan looked at the line of runic symbols that ran down Buffy's spine as she shrugged into the robe. He had never much cared for their interpretation and Buffy wasn't inclined to allow him to study them. The girl looked shattered. Guilt surged within him as she stroked Ripper's face with the tips of her fingers.  
"He'll be fine." He tried to sound understanding, but her body stiffened. He felt like an interloper, as if he had trod on sacred ground without an invitation.  
"I did what had to be done." She sounded weary as she turned toward him. He looked at her tousled hair and tear streaked face. She was far more beautiful than he had realized. "He won't remember, you're sure?" Her voice wobbled.  
"I'm sure, but we need to get this place set up for your performance in the morning." He moved toward the bed and was stopped by the magical circle. "You need to break the circle. Just pick up some of the petals."  
Buffy bent carefully and picked up a hand of full blooms. She looked at them and gestured him closer.  
"These are flowers not petals. I put down petals." She held out a perfect daisy. He looked at the circle and realized each petal had grown it's own flower. They had been restored by the magic of the spell. He hadn't expected that. He watched as she gathered them with gentle care. The spell had done something more than he intended, but he couldn't be sure what. He bit back a curse.  
He watched as she smiled and sniffed the flowers, the bittersweet expression on her face made the guilt surge within him again. She deserved better. He had forgotten that selfless giving existed.  
"I need to get these outside," she said softly. "I'll be back for the others."  
He watched as she slid the glass door open and stepped toward the barren garden beds. What on earth was she doing? He watched as she took the flowers and began planting them. He turned and stared at the flowers still in the room. They were growing roots. He backed away for a moment. The spell had done so much more than it should have been able to accomplish. The one time he could have done without the chaos. Damn.  
He heard the door slide on its track again. She was returning. Running was his best option. This spell was out of control. There was no way to be sure of its outcome. His eyes fell to Ripper. His magic was controlled once more. He was resting peacefully because of that loathsome slip of a girl. He turned and watched as she entered the room. He could see the fresh tears in her eyes, and something inside him twisted viciously. Hating her would take effort now.  
She gathered the other plants to her chest with care. The curtain of her blonde hair hiding her gamine face from his view. The dignity and grace in her at this moment left him befuddled. Where was the brash spitfire? Where was his nemesis?  
"I'll be up to help with the rest in a minute. They basically plant themselves." She shrugged carelessly and started toward the stairs.  
"How will you explain his suddenly lush garden?" Ethan asked.  
"I'll just play it off as something that happened before I beat you up and sent you packing. I know they need to be here. He needs them for some reason." She bit her lip. "Don't run Ethan. I'm gonna need your help."  
His jaw dropped as she left him in the loft once more. He heard the front door open and recalled the flower boxes that stood empty in the courtyard. The gears in his brain began turning once more. The petals had protected the pair during the spell. The flowers might have some sort of safeguarding magic in them. Ripper would need every bit of protection they could provide.  
Buffy was acting intuitively to protect her watcher. What had the spell wrought in her? He heard the front door close as she returned. Their bond was deeper than he had realized. It must have given the magic a boost. He relaxed. The spell had worked. Ripper was free from the Council's bonds once more. Buffy was buying him the time it would take to adjust. He would be free. Ripper would be free.  
"We're gonna need to change the sheets," she said as she entered the room. "I ripped them. Can you fix them?"  
"My dear, I can do you one better." He waved his hands in a complicated gesture and the sheets were pristine and fresh once more.  
"Let's move the bed back against the wall. Then it will be like this never happened." The pain in her voice bothered him.  
"You need to stop moping. He will pick up on it." Ethan snarled.  
"Don't worry. I'll be all concerny, bouncy Buffy tomorrow. He'll never know." The resignation in her voice radiated through the room. "He's safe and I will keep him that way."

He nodded and they set the room to rights in silence. He turned to leave the room, but her hand on his arm stopped him. He raised one eye and shrugged of her touch.

"He needs to be wearing pajamas. He wouldn't be comfortable with the nakedness," she whispered.

"He used to sleep au naturel," Ethan sneered.

"That was then. We need to dress him. It'll make everything more comfortable for him." She bit her lower lip and glanced back at the bed with her cheeks flaming.

"Better that he be a bit discomfited. He won't pay as much attention to your story. He'll want to avoid thinking about it. Let it be. You would do better to work on finishing the laundry from earlier."

She nodded and left the room with her head lowered. Ethan looked back into the room and sighed. This situation was complicated and had far too many variables. He took a deep breath. Chaos was at play.


	8. Chapter 8

Giles shifted and slid to his back, enjoying the soft cotton of his sheets on his skin. He felt so much better than he had the night before. He stretched and realized he was naked. It was a bit unusual. He tried to keep decent in case his slayer needed him. He heard a noise and a whispered curse. He sat up and panicked when the sheet slipped down his body. He snatched it up to his chin and looked up to see his slayer smiling broadly at him.

"I'm so glad to see you awake. Don't worry about the whole naked thing. I found you in all your glory last night, even bathed you. No reason for the Victorian maiden routine." She gestured with the tea tray clutched in her hands and blushed becomingly.

"Thank you for that embarrassing news," he groused and felt a bit of shame at her suddenly sad expression. She had cared for him quite competently if his current condition was any indication. He looked down at the buttered toast and tea arranged on the tray she slid gently on his lap. She had cut the toast into triangles and fanned a strawberry between the stacks. He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What? I can't make a pretty plate? I am more than just a slayer you know. I don't just kill things." He watched as she collapsed in his reading chair with a pout firmly affixed. This was not going well.

"I've been a bear this morning. You helped me tremendously and I haven't had the good grace to thank you. I am sorry, Buffy." He watched as she blinked back tears and clutched her hands together in her lap. He took a sip of his tea and grinned. She always made it a tad too sweet, but this morning he wasn't going to complain.

"It's no big. Ethan caused it. He showed up saying all sorts of crazy things and even seemed to be helping, but I figured it out. Beat him up and, well, you're all better now." She blushed and dropped her gaze to the floor, disappearing behind the curtain of her hair.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that pillock again." He watched as she shrugged. There was probably more to the story, but pushing his slayer never worked. He sat back and took a bite of his toast.

"It wasn't a big deal, Giles. You used some magic while you were all feverish, managed to make pretty flowers. What's all that about?" She looked up at him with a smirk on her face and he felt his cheeks flush under her scrutiny.

"I was indisposed and really can't say." He took a deep breath and tried to remember. She just nodded. "Did I do or say anything else of a questionable nature?"

"Not really," she muttered as her face flamed. He closed his eyes and schooled his features into a passive expression. So, he had embarrassed her. He clenched his fists in the sheet and wished for his glasses. "You were just so sick. I was really worried. I can't lose you. I mean I really can't, okay?"

He forced his eyes open and watched his slayer examine her shoes. He loved her, had known it for some time. Really, since that damned test. Confronted with losing her, his heart had been laid bare. It wasn't paternal, and he was afraid to ask her what he had done and said in the throes of his magically induced fever. What if her determined statement was a warning? He rubbed his hair back from his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was his torch and he would carry it quietly.

The sudden burst of noise from the room below made Buffy wince, but he felt a surge of relief. Their much needed buffer had arrived.

"I've got jelly infused pastries of the donut variety," Xander called. Buffy smiled and shook her head.

"Let me take the tray down and assure them you are all better. It'll give you some time to get dressed. I really don't think Willow is ready for you in all your glory." She touched his cheek with her fingertips. He looked up and was awed by the tenderness in her gaze. The moment was lost in a quick burst of slayer speed. The tray was gone and he was alone once more. All that was left of her was the scent of flowers and vanilla. He tossed back the sheets and stretched. The day was calling him.

He could hear the quiet murmurs of familiar voices in the main room of his flat, and he smiled. They were such a wonderful group. He fought back the urge to whistle. He hadn't felt this relaxed or well in years. Even his hands felt good. There was none of the arthritic pain to which he had become accustomed since Angelus' toyed with him. He heard a burst of laughter from below and headed for the stairs. He flicked his hand back and the bed made itself as he left the room.

Buffy was rubbing her arms and looking exhausted. Guilt pummeled him. How had he not noticed how drained she was? She needed rest after taking care of him the whole night. Willow and Xander looked thrilled to see him, and he smiled.

"Good to see you up and about, G man." Xander smiled and popped a piece of donut into his mouth with a flourish.

"Please resist using that odious name." Giles forced a scowl to his face before smiling at the younger man.

"So, it was Ethan after all." Willow looked glum. "I thought he was really helping."

"Yeah, he seemed to be worried." Xander said as he flopped down on the couch.

"He was worried, worried we would catch him." Buffy shrugged. "He won't be back for a while. I'm pretty sure I scared him."

Giles plucked a jelly from the box and smiled it was going to be a good day.


	9. Chapter 9

Buffy flinched as Parker Abrams stroked her arm. He smelled wrong. It wasn't an unpleasant scent, just not appealing. It wasn't really much of a surprise. The whole room stank. Lately, her sense of smell had become so developed she could tell what Willow had for breakfast when they went for dinner. She pushed away from the good looking boy. He seemed nice enough, but it wasn't happening. His sob story aside, he just wasn't who she wanted.

The nausea got worse as she remembered Giles and his new love, Olivia of the icky cheese and the stunning beauty. He hadn't waited a week before falling into bed with someone else. She had no right to her anger. He had no memory of their time together. Buffy bit her lip. He hadn't meant to flaunt his new relationship. She knew that, but it stung even though he didn't remember their one night. She took a deep breath, fighting back the all too quick to surface tears. He had the right to a life. She had tied herself to him to give him that. She rested her hand on her shirt, over her stomach. The tidal wave of nausea that always accompanied these bouts of self torture hit just as expected.

She headed for the restroom. The nausea was just hitting its stride when she got there. Vomiting up what little food she had managed to eat, she gave into the tears and sobbed her heart out. There was no one here to hide her misery from. No Willow, no Oz, no Xander, and no Giles coming to her aide just a little too late with an endearing and adorable little speech. She bit her lip to keep from screaming out her misery. Would she ever stop wanting him? The tears streamed from her eyes. There had been demonic roommates that actually liked Celine Dion, it figured, and vampire gangs, gathering posters for their own amusement, but she could handle it. Giles would get to have a life. She had made sure of it. He would get another bite at that love apple with Olivia. He would get the happy ending he deserved. Slayers weren't happy ending girls. It was just a fact.

Buffy fell asleep tucked into the corner of the tiny room, tears still sliding from her eyes. She slept fitfully through the night. Another bout of nausea finally woke her and she gagged over the toilet for some time to no avail.

She washed her face and hands with cold water and looked into the mirror at her puffy eyes. Guilt hit. Willow was going to be so worried.

She opened the door and saw another blonde girl smack Parker. There were tears in her eyes.

"I never said it was forever." His syrupy voice grated along Buffy's nerves.

"You're a pig, you bastard." The girl ran out and Parker laughed.

"And you were a lousy lay," he called after her rapidly retreating form. He was laughing.

Buffy stepped out of the bathroom and walked up behind him. He was still chuckling. Anger flashed white hot. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned. His eyes went wide with panic.

"It isn't what it looks like, Buffy." He said quickly.

"Really? Cuz it looks like you're an a idiot using any old story that will work to sleep with as many girls as possible." She smiled and tilted her head, perfectly perky. The moment he relaxed she punched him hard in the gut. Watching him fall to the ground was almost as satisfying as watching a vamp dust. She grinned for a moment and stepped over his crumpled form.

The sunlight played though the leaves and dappled the walkways. Sunnydale was so beautiful in the sunlight. She walked toward the dorm and the sadness settled back into its place within her. She felt a jolt as Giles used a small amount of his power. She was developing a keen sense about it. He was using more every day. She frowned and wondered if he even realized how often he relied on magic now. She shook off the pain and headed into her building. A quick shower and a change of clothes sounded like this side of heaven after spending the night on a bathroom floor.

She stepped up to the door and sensed him. Giles was in the room. She swallowed. He was in her room. Her mind went blank. She avoided him, went out of her way to steer clear of his happiness. It hurt too much, and he was in her room.

She took several deep breaths and draped her shawl across her shoulders. He couldn't show up when she had had a good night's sleep in her own bed, not her Giles. He always had to catch her doing something not quite right. She grimaced and looked down at her clothing. He would probably be able to tell she had spent the night on a restroom floor. She needed armor, lots of it. Stepping into her room, she blinked her eyes and stared into his beloved face. Her stomach clenched again.

"Good to see you here, in our room," she said with a clear voice. "What brings you to our room so early?"

"One might wonder what brings you to it so late, but it would appear we have a problem." He gestured to a book and she nodded, no longer listening. His voice reached inside her and carved her like a knife. He disapproved of her behavior, that much was obvious, but she had done nothing.

Willow was making happy faces and mouthing words behind his back, but it slid over her as she took in the vision sitting before her. He was gorgeous and she missed him so much. It was a constant ache.

His rundown came to an end, and Buffy blinked trying to make her mind focus. Why did words always run away from her when she needed them?

"Okay, you guys need to find that and I'll go look for Spike." Buffy looked at Giles and fought down the urge to throw herself into his arms and beg. She wasn't even sure what she would be begging for at this point. He needed her to be strong. She was doing this for him.

They left quickly. She managed to get dressed and out the door without wasting any time. She searched several bars the bleached wonder might find appealing. There were so many places he could be holed up, but Harmony liked her comforts. Maybe they had settled into the thieving bitch's lair.

She was cutting across campus when Spike stepped out and tossed her for distance in an easy move. He smirked at her as she sprawled on the ground. His swagger was telling. He wasn't being cautious. She popped up and staked him.

"Oh, that tickles." He smiled at her. "Do it again. Harder."

"You found it." She gasped as he shoved her back.

"Another bit of witty repartee. Might miss that, but not much." He giggled and tossed her onto a table and leaned over to gloat. She hit him with her cut hand and sprang back.

He made a show of licking the finger he had smeared in her blood. He hummed and closed his eyes for a second as she tried to relocate her shoulder.

"I get to kill you, then I'll trot off to old gramps and let him know you were all sprogged up when I drank you down." He spun and kicked, but she dodged his foot and knocked him to the ground by taking out his knee. He giggled then flipped up. "Yep, this lovely trinket is all I need to kill you."

"No, you need something else," she snarled as she hit him with a series of punches and kicks.

"Yeah, Pet, what would that be?" Spike said as he hit her so hard her head snapped back.

"Ability." Buffy spun and hit him with both feet. He stumbled back and she charged toward him. His grin was the only warning she had as his punch scent her flying through the air.

"Want to tell me who the lucky bloke you've replaced the great poof with is? I'd love to tell dear old Angel. Be the cherry on my sundae, it would." He came closer and she cradled her injured arm against her midriff.

"Not much into cherries. I like hot fudge, but you have to be careful it doesn't burn." She grabbed his hand and yanked the ring from it. The sun made him smoke. Buffy jerked back and stepped into a sun drenched section of the quad. Spike glared and ran away sizzling as she sank to her knees in exhaustion. Xander came running up and slid to a halt by her side. She looked up at him with a smile and passed out.

Buffy came awake to a familiar touch. She opened her eyes and looked into Giles' concerned face. He was dabbing at her head wound. She ached. Slayer healing worked, but pain was pain. She wished she could curl up in his lap and let him hold her, but it wasn't going to happen.

"Thanks, Giles." She took the cloth from him and stared into his eyes. He nodded and moved away from her gracefully. She bit her lip and suppressed the urge to beg him to hold her, to make her feel safe.

"Xander said you managed to fight Spike and reclaim the gem." Giles smiled at her. "Well done."

"What did you do with the ring?" She asked as the others crowded into the room.

"I have it here. I thought you might want to send it on to Angel." Giles looked down and away from her. His pain was so obvious, but he handed her the ring. She leaned forward and touched his shoulder.

"I want to destroy it. Angel might not abuse it, but I would never risk putting that kind of power in his reach. Even with the soul it would be a mistake, but if he were to lose it..." She shivered at the thought. Giles looked at her and nodded.

She took a deep breath and stepped out onto his patio. It was another perfect California evening. She grabbed a rock and smashed the stone on the small ledge that surrounded the garden beds. She felt the magic as it was released and stood there alone on his patio. The flowers were still blooming and she looked up at the early evening sky.

The door slid open behind her and she felt Giles' hands settle on her shoulders. There would be no happy ending for her, but he would be free. It had to be enough. She let the warmth of his body soothe her as they stared out into the darkening night in silence.


	10. Chapter 10

Giles watched as Buffy smashed the ring. He felt the wave of magic as it rippled away from its prison. He had been certain she would send it to Angel. He had considered destroying it before she awakened, but he could not deny her the choice. He loved her far too much to hurt her by forcing his will on her. She had done the right thing. He watched her in wonder.

She looked out into the coming night in isolation. Her friends chattered behind him unaware of her feelings, of the maturity displayed in this choice. She had let go of the fantasy of her vampire lover. She took a deep breath as he stood transfixed.

Her loneliness pulled at him. They had been at odds for too long. He had been an arse when she had caught him with Olivia, not that she had been noble and sweet. He might have dealt with the situation in a more suitable manner if he hadn't felt so guilty. It had been awkward being caught in such obvious circumstances by the woman he loved more than life. Worse that Olivia had seen something of it in his eyes. He had hurt them both.

He took a deep breath. It was time to make things right. He stepped out behind her and settled his hands on her shoulders. Her body relaxed into his touch. The moment stretched on, more intimate for the silence. His thumbs traced circles on her shoulders. He felt her quake, but she took several steadying breaths and stilled. The last traces of rose faded from the sky and she turned into his arms. He held her safe, whole against his chest and fought back his own maudlin response.

The others were frolicking about inside. He could hear their boisterous conversation though the glass muted it, sparing him the details. He took a deep breath and buried his nose in his slayer's hair. The mixture of flowers and vanilla was comforting and uniquely hers. Having her body wrapped in his arms was heaven.

She pushed back and looked up at him with wide, glistening eyes. He stroked her cheek with his fingers. The urge to kiss her soft lips flared, but he ignored it. He was her watcher, her comfort. It would be a betrayal of the worst kind to so selfishly indulge his feelings. She needed him to stand strong and true. He was after all very old and gross, not the lover, never the man. He stepped back and let their bodies separate. Buffy dropped her gaze to the ground between them.

"Thank you for destroying it. I must admit I wanted nothing more than to pulverize it." His words fell softly between them.

"You really thought I'd send it to Angel?" She rubbed the back of her neck and glanced quickly up at him.

"It seemed likely. I know you love him." Giles tilted her head up to him with his finger crooked under her chin.

"Loved him, maybe. It wasn't real. I loved the fantasy." She stepped back, breaking the contact between them again. "The reality was so not worth it."

Giles watched her fidget with her top and fought the urge to yank her into his arms. She didn't see him as a man. If he laid bare his desires, she would be forced to see him as more than a source of comfort and knowledge. Knowing his slayer, she'd run like the wind. He didn't want to lose her completely. The few feet between them seemed to stretch toward infinity. He pulled his glasses off and began to polish them.

"I like the new clothes. Olivia must be good for you." Buffy stroked his shirt with her fingertips.

"Actually, I have had most of these clothes for quite some time. Olivia is a good friend, but I am far too conservative a dresser for her." He fought the urge to grab her hand as it fell away. Explaining that Olivia was merely an old friend that he had sought comfort from seemed inappropriate. She wouldn't understand that kind of relationship. Her realm of experience was so small. He thought of her late return to her dormitory and forced a polite smile to his face. "Is there some new beau on the horizon?"

"No, I got sick last night. It was awful. I spent the night in a nasty bathroom." She crinkled her nose in disgust. Relief hit him broadside and he dragged her into another embrace. Her body seemed to melt against him for a moment, but then she stiffened and pulled away. She smiled up at him, but he could see the melancholy hiding behind it.

"Are you still feeling poorly?" He touched her forehead to test her temperature.

"I'm okay. I think it's just nerves. You know, settling into a new routine. It hasn't been easy." She shrugged. "I miss the smaller pond sometimes."

"Yes, so do I." He nodded.

"Too bad we had to blow it up." He watched as she bent and smelled one of the flowers. "They smell so good."

He nodded, lost in the moment. There were so few quiet moments between them. There was always another battle on the horizon, another frenzied search for the answers needed to save her, to keep her by his side. She belonged with him. He knew it, but he couldn't destroy her trust by forcing a change in their relationship. She was young and deserved to enjoy the frivolities of it while she could.

He reached out and clasped her shoulder and felt a strange tingle. She turned her head toward him and their gazes locked. She smiled and stood, releasing the flower. The odd sensation in his fingers dissipated. She looked up at him playfully and ducked under his arm to return to the group arrayed about his living room.

He looked back at the flowers. There had been something so right, so certain in that moment. He had felt some sort of magical resonance. That was for certain. He touched the flower and turned to look at her. Buffy's eyes fastened on him and she rubbed her stomach. His instincts screamed as he let magic flood through him. She stood and he let the flower go.

Buffy and the flowers were linked. Questions poured through his mind. He watched as his slayer curled into a chair, relaxed once more. She knew something about these flowers That much was certain. His slayer was keeping secrets from him again. That, too, was certain.


	11. Chapter 11

Ethan looked up as the bell rang. This business was a fine cover, but, beautiful California coeds aside, it was boring. No magic lest Ripper find him. No chaos because the slayer was always dropping in. He leaned over and saw Buffy looking around with tired eyes.

"There are no costumes or cursed merchandise in the shop, my dear. Just lingerie and assorted goodies here at Dierdre's, I swear." He said smoothly. "I learned my lesson the last time."

"I can tell none of it is all with the hocus pocus. I've got magic radar now." She smiled and turned to him. There was a nasty cut healing on her forehead and a bruise on her cheek.

"Is something wrong with your healing?" He stepped closer even as she shook her head.

"No, I just had a real beat down with Spike. Ever heard of him? William the Bloody?" She tilted her head and looked behind him at a light blue lace bra. "Pretty."

"You have to be careful, Buffy. You are his anchor." Ethan glared at her.

"Anchor, slayer, the one girl in all the world. I do get it, but I can't ignore my calling. Do you think I want to risk him?" She snarled. "Do you think I wanted to play kick my head around the quad?"

"No. I know you must protect the world from all and sundry." He snarked and waved his hands dismissively. "I wish I could have found another anchor for him. One I could wrap in cotton wool."

Ethan looked at her and saw the exhaustion she was trying to hide. Much as he disliked her with all her nobility and youthful appeal, she needed to be protected until Ripper was free, and he was the mage to do it. He bit back a curse. She needed every advantage.

"Cotton wool? Why can't any of you Englishmen actually speak the language?" Buffy smiled as she teased. "I swear Giles favorite word is pillock, and what does sprogged up mean? I mean, how am I supposed to taunt the bleached menace when he says ridiculous things like that? Stupid vampire."

"What did the vampire say?" Ethan reached out and grabbed her arm. He swallowed when her gaze turned frosty and she yanked her arm free of his grasp.

"He said he couldn't wait to tell Angel that I was sprogged up when he drank me dry." She shrugged and moved off to look at a blue silk robe. "That's Spike. He's always running his mouth. I only understand him half the time."

Ethan closed his eyes and wondered for a moment how he was going to survive this. Would she kill him quickly or would Ripper choke the life out of him when it was over? He opened his eyes and looked at the blonde as she flitted about his shop. He swallowed and walked to the counter. He yanked a pregnancy test from the case and tossed it at her.

"Take it. The vampire might have been wrong." Ethan watched as the color drained from her face.

"Sprogged up means pregnant?" She screeched. "No, I can't have his baby now. I can't have a baby. I'm gonna die. Slayers don't get happy endings and white picket fences. How can I hand Giles a baby he doesn't remember making and head off to stop the next apocalypse?"

She crumpled before his eyes. She could face down demons with a pun and a little piece of wood, but normal human problems floored her. He stepped around the counter and patted her back awkwardly.

"There are options, Buffy." He could get her to a clinic and handle everything. Ripper never needed to know. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his own frayed nerves.

"Options?" Her eyes went wide and then narrowed. "You think I'd get rid of it? What would I tell Giles? I love you but not enough to keep your baby alive. It was inconvenient."

Ethan stepped back as she stood up and began to pace. How was he going to keep a pregnant slayer alive? He rubbed the two headed coin in his pocket. Chaos had been his joy for so long. He swallowed. This was the other side.

"Why do you even have this?" She waved the box around, rattling the contents. "This is a lingerie shop not a pharmacy."

"I carry condoms as well. They both do quite well with the campus being so close at hand. Take the test, Buffy." She looked panicked, but she dropped her purse and headed for the employee restroom.

He picked her purse up and tucked it behind the counter. Ripper would tear him limb from limb for this. She was going to have to conceal the pregnancy. If the demon community got wind of this, hell, if the damn Council found out, she wouldn't stand a chance. He rubbed a hand over his face.

He waved his hand and a book of charms and protective spells from a self in the back room materialized on top of the case. He flipped through the pages looking for the right spell. He would have to keep them both alive and pray that old Ripper was so happy to have a baby that he could slip away.

Buffy emerged and nodded her head. One hand carefully pressed to her stomach, she slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

"He has a girlfriend, the first one since Ms. Calendar. He was getting a life again. I mean it hurt, but he deserves to be happy. How can I tell him?" She looked up at him, her eyes were red from crying and not quite focused. She looked so lost.

"You can't tell him until the spell runs its course. We need to determine where the threat is and eliminate it. Then you can give Ripper the shock of a lifetime." Ethan tried to smile at her, but she wasn't seeing his store as she stared off into space.

"Will he want the baby? What if Olivia doesn't understand?" Ethan bit back a laugh. Trust Ripper to take up with the worst possible woman at the worst possible time.

"You needn't worry about Olivia. She's just a bit of fluff from the past. She'd love to keep him, but they're just friends." Ethan shook his head as amusement replaced panic and fear.

"You don't sleep with friends. There has to be more." Buffy crossed her arms and stood up. Her innocence was amusing.

"You're young. Sex is still about one thing for you, but that changes with experience. It can be more and it can be less. He won't stay with Liv. He never has." Ethan watched as her hand fluttered over her stomach again.

"Could he sense the baby with magic?" She looked at him eyes wide with panic once more. "Last night, we were out on the patio and something seemed to buzz between us. I know it was magic, but it wasn't his. It seemed to come from both of us."

"Did he notice it?" Ethan asked feeling his own panic rise again.

"I don't know." She worried her lip with her teeth for a moment. "He touched one of the flowers and I had to check to make sure he was safe. I think he noticed that. There was something in his eyes that made me shiver."

"Resonance." Ethan sat on his stool. This was going to hell in an express hand basket.


	12. Chapter 12

Spike fought the chains as Angel concentrated on what was left of Marcus. The vamp's legs were dust, and Angel was working on his fingers. He did love fingers, just couldn't resist the lovely snapping sounds they made. Marcus screamed and Spike wondered where the humans had run. They sure weren't here to witness their pet vampire indulge his twisted imagination. Their tender sensibilities would have been offended. They would have peed themselves in fear. He smirked and pulled against his shackles.

His sire was enjoying his toy for the moment, but it wouldn't last. It never did. The sick bastard had been at it for hours, whistling as he worked. Eventually, Marcus would give out or Angel would just get bored.

Spike sagged for a moment and considered his situation. His stupid plans never worked. Balls out violence was his game, fighting slayers, testing himself. Here he was for a piece of power he didn't need. He closed his eyes and thought of her. The slayer had done him but good. Lost him his sweet, dark plum and kicked his arse when he was nigh bloody invincible. He'd been so sure she'd send the damn ring here to her great love, but not for her to be so predictable. Bitch, with her pretty golden hair, probably had the sense to stay clear of the evil ex while she was up the duff. More sense than he had at any rate.

He felt his left cuff give slightly around his wrist as Marcus screamed. He tugged at it frantically. His hope renewed. An escape was his best hope. Angelus had never been kind, but Angel appeared to have all of that cruelty and a bit more seething hatred. there was no hate like self hate. Spike smiled bitterly. He stilled as Angel moved to the other side of the table and looked up at him with a wink.

"I don't like it when amatures play with me," Angelus purred into Marcus' ear. "Darla knew how to make it sing. You are just a hack with a music fetish. You want to know the truth? Love reduces us even as it lifts us high. The soul means nothing without her. It all means nothing without her."

"Darla?" Marcus gasped as Angel turned a blade in his side. Angel laughed, a deep rumbling sound.

"My sire was a force to be reckoned with, but she played with passion, fear, and pain, Marcus. I wanted her, but love wasn't an issue between us. Fucking and killing were more than enough for the two of us. No, I learned love from the gentle hand of the woman that sent me to hell." Angel stroked Marcus' face with the gentlest of touches. "I climbed out of hell for her."

"Love sent you to hell?" Marcus asked his eyes locked to Angelus'.

"There's your truth." Angel nodded slowly. "Love redeems as it destroys."

"I don't understand," Marcus whispered.

"You need to hire better experts, Spike, my boy. This one is slow, really an amateur. Since Dru brought you to me to raise, I've been trying to teach you to be self reliant. Trying and failing, but I'm not through with you. This one just doesn't have what it takes." Angel looked at Spike with a grin as he pulled up a flap of skin from the whimpering vampire's chest. "Better to do it yourself. Attention to detail is everything."

"Yes, Sire." Spike dropped his eyes in deference.

"You wanted to hurt me, Boyo. I understand, but you were too soft to do it yourself. Always letting affection blind you. Such a shame, but we will see what you learn this time around. I'm almost done warming up."

Angelus stroked his hand gently across the ribs he had revealed. Marcus was crying, making the tiny sounds of the truly broken. Spike looked away. Each snap of bone sent a chill up his spine. The pathetic noises finally ceased. Spike couldn't fight his urge to watch. Angelus stood next to a shivering ruin of a vamp, considering his tools.

Spike yanked on his cuffs in desperation, watching as Angel dipped a blade in holy oil. Bloody buggering fuck, the bastard's finally gone round the bend. Spike closed his eyes and thought of that tiny taste of slayer blood. Hers had been the sweetest. He prayed to all that was holy and all that was not for the strength to help her kill this madman. He had vowed to assist her. It was their bond, the tie he could not break. He'd made a deal with the slayer, and now his unlife depended on upholding his end.

Marcus screamed and Spike opened his eyes. There were pokers sticking through his body and dust where his right arm had been. The dance was nearing an end. Spike sighed. Angel was still batting at his toy, a great cat playing with its food before the kill.

Torture fed his sire, made him sing. He watched his ensouled sire carve a cross into Marcus' heart. The other vampire sobbed in relief as the oil burned through his long dead organ and his body disintegrated.

Angel blew the dust away with a laugh. He flipped around and sat where his victim had been seconds before, swinging his legs like a little kid. Spike took a deep breath and tried to sneer down at Angel, but the look was met by a throaty laugh.

"You're family, My Boy. I won't kill you. Might upset Drusilla. We don't want that. I still have a soft spot for that girl, so death is not on the menu. You might wish for it, but you will live for as long as I desire. Are we very clear?" Angel examined his blood stained hands before looking up.

Spike nodded. He watched as Angel sprang from the table and picked up a small knife. He slammed his eyes shut as Angel cut away his clothing. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

"The spell didn't work?" Quentin Travers glared down at his stupid lackey.

"No, it did. His magic is free. Rupert Giles should have lost all control by now." The grown man stared at his feet.

"Are they dead?" Travers asked though he knew the answer. He watched the younger man shake his head.

"No, but we did manage to remove the guilt from the vampire Angel. He will be there soon. The seer was quite happy about it," the younger man said with a shudder. "I doubt they will be able to defeat him again. They can't return a soul he still has in his possession."

"A vampire the slayer has sent to the bowels of hell before seems the best weapon to you?" Travers smiled. "I suppose we shall see. Has the team been dispatched to deal with the Lehane problem?"


	13. Chapter 13

Buffy looked at the hokey decorations, knowing at any second they could come to life. Rubber bats and plastic spiders were doing it, why not silly paper ghosts? Halloween was supposed to be her one night off, but it never worked out like that. Going to a party with friends in a silly, totally unscary, haunted house had sounded like just what she needed to take her mind off of everything, so, of course, it turned into a surreal creep fest.

She walked down the hall and turned to find another, no windows and no doors. Her friends had left her. Willow had dragged Oz off in an angry huff and Xander had just disappeared. She was alone. She ran her hand over her still flat tummy. Not really alone. She bit her lip as her future reared its ugly head. Everything was rushing toward her and she wasn't ready. College had seemed so overwhelming a few weeks ago. Impending motherhood had it beat. She bit her bottom lip. Now, she just had to find her way through this Halloween Wonderland.

"I should have just stayed home and eaten chocolate." Buffy turned in a tight circle looking for anything to slay. Her thoughts were so bleak when she wasn't busy.

Her world was completely screwed up. She was lying to everyone but Ethan Rayne. Willow kept pushing her at cute guys like you could pick one in the same way you could ice cream. How could she tell her she knew what she wanted, but it was off the menu? Xander would just flip out if she clued him in. He'd tell Giles about the baby because it was the right thing to do. Buffy bit her lip because it really was the right thing to do. He had a right to know she was carrying his child. It wasn't like she could guarantee their child a safe and loving home all by herself. She couldn't even promise her child the loving childhood she'd had. Would Giles take their baby trick or treating? Would she be able to make costumes and enjoy the night eating the extra candy? She stroked her stomach and forced her mind back to the task at hand. No reason to dwell on the impossible.

She walked down the hall and a skeleton turned its head toward her. It's empty eyes somehow knowing. She rubbed the back of her neck and stopped. No one knew what the future held, not even seers and prophets. She had survived the master. She had died, sure, but she was still here fighting the stupid plastic skeletons. She would survive this.

Screams echoed down the hall from a door. It sounded like Willow and the others. She ran to the door and shoved it open, only to fall into blackness and tumble into the basement. Forcing herself up, she noticed a figure in a robe moving around. He wasn't the source of the problem. Her new magic sense was good for info like that.

"They will all leave you," the robed figure spoke so calmly. It was just another observation. No malice in it. "You will be alone even though you will never escape them. Arms thrust up through the dirt floor. They clawed at her body, trying to drag her into the earth. A baby's cry sounded in the distance.

"You can't save them, not even the tiniest one." The robed man droned on. Buffy dropped her hand to her stomach. The baby needed her. She fought and gained her feet as she spun about. Her heart was racing as she looked for an escape. She had to get away from this house of horrors, had to keep her baby safe. The ground seemed to pulse beneath her. She saw a door and scrambled for it as panic claimed her.

The door opened into another hallway. It looked dark and dangerous. She swallowed. This room was upstairs. How did that happen? Her heart beat faster as her slayer senses flared. She could sense the source nearby. This was not the way out. Her baby needed to be away from this. She flipped around and clawed at the wall where the door had been.

A sudden burst of warmth brought her back to herself. Giles was using magic. The flash was stronger than usual. She turned and looked around the hallway again. Willow was batting at something only she could see and screaming, Oz was curled into himself on the floor, and she could hear Xander muttering somewhere further in. She took several deep breaths and concentrated on the warmth inside her. The fear dissipated as she moved forward. There were other students arranged down the short hall, each unaware of their true surroundings. They were all lost in their fears.

Buffy touched Willow as she called forth the warmth of Giles' spell. She felt some of the heat leave her. Willow looked at her in shock as her reality reset before rushing to her boyfriend. Oz looked up at them his eyes wide as he relaxed enough to move. Xander continued talking to himself until Buffy touched his arm, and he heard Willow chuckle at his rant. He looked at them in horror as he realized they had heard him. Buffy smiled and pulled him to his feet.

"Don't worry about it, Xan. It got to us all." Buffy touched his shoulder as they all moved together toward the symbol in the center of the room.

"That doesn't look good," Willow pointed at the painted symbol that seemed to be pulsing.

"They were using a book earlier," Xander scanned the room and ran toward the open book. He lifted it up and turned it toward the others. "It has letters but the words make no sense."

"That's Gaelic, Xander." Willow grabbed the book from him.

"Can you translate it?" Buffy asked as she and Oz moved around checking on the students still trapped in their fears.

"I'll do my best," Willow said with a determined glint in her eye.

"Yeah, cuz the throbbing symbol of evil is so not my idea of a hot party." Xander snarked as he looked at the floor.

"Doesn't work for a cool party either," Oz observed wryly.

She rubbed her arms, missing the warmth of her cape. The room was growing colder as the symbol pulsed. College was turning out to be just as frustrating as High School. At least the zombies had only existed in her mind tonight.

"It's some sort of summoning spell for a demon named Gachnar. Did they do this on purpose?" Willow looked up alarmed.

"No," Oz said with a quick shake of his head. "They just wanted to make it seem creepier, impress the girls."

"Well, tell the boys what they've won," Xander said, his exasperation clear.

"I think this says the demon feeds on fear. Our fears are making it strong, giving it life." Willow said.

"Great. We just need to stop being afraid and get out of here." Xander said.

"No doors, no windows," Oz observed.

"So escape isn't an option," Buffy said as she moved toward Willow. "If this Gachnar makes it to real boy status, can I fight it?"

"Maybe," Willow turned the book toward her and pointed to an illustration. The thing looked really dangerous, ferocious and claw bearing. "But this is the demon."

"I don't want to fight that, so other options?" Buffy looked around the room. There had to be some way to stop this.

She jerked as a blast furnace erupted inside her body. Giles was using his magic in a focused manner. The room filled with growling otherworldly sounds. She stumbled and broke out in a sweat as the roar of a chainsaw sent them all spinning. A section of the wall changed back into a door and Giles stood, triumphant with the power tool, as Anya wobbled her way to Xander.

Buffy took two steps toward him and stopped while the others pushed forward. They were talking quickly relaying the situation while she dithered about. She turned her back to the gang and pretended to examine the symbol. This was harder than she had expected, knowing she had his baby nestled inside her while he stood, uninformed and distant. She rested her hand on her belly and fought back tears. It was just that this was the first time she'd seen him since she had found out she had a passenger. It would get easier. It had to. She could hear him talking, his voice soothing and calm.

"There are only two ways to halt the emergence of the demon." Giles translated aloud. "Destroying the mark of Gachnar..."

Buffy slammed her fist into the mark and it started to glow, a bright light shining fron its center.

"Is not one of them." Giles glared at Buffy. "It is emerging now, are you quite satisfied?"

"But you said," Buffy looked at her watcher with frightened eyes.

"I was translating aloud. If you weren't so quick to act, this would be over and we would all be safe." He glared at her. "Your rash actions have repercussions, Buffy."

Buffy bit her lip and looked away. His anger was all she deserved. She was repercussions girl, that was for sure.

"I am the dark lord of nightmares. Fear me." A highpitched voice demanded from near her ankles.

"Oh my gosh, that's just cute." Willow said with a smile. "Can we keep him?"

"No," Giles said sternly as he fought a smile. "When it comes to slaying..."

"Size really doesn't matter," Buffy said as she smashed the demon under her shoe. One of the fraternity's brothers sat up and looked around like he was just getting up and she grinned. "What did you guys spike the punch with?"

"Not cool," Oz said firmly. "Really not cool."

Buffy stared at Giles across the broken floor Thinking about repercussions. He needed to regain control of his magic before she could destroy his personal life. She bit her lip again and followed the others out of the house.


	14. Chapter 14

Giles picked up a candy wrapper from his floor and twirled it between his fingers. Buffy hadn't touched the candy. She'd barely spoken as he recorded the evening's events in his journal. The others were joking and acting like their normal selves, but Buffy was retreating from them.

He watched as she curled into an even tighter ball in the chair. Her eyes were drooping and he smiled as she drifted off to sleep. He motioned to Willow, bringing a finger to his lips, and she hushed the others.

"Should we wake her?" Xander asked."I mean nighttime Buffy is awake Buffy."

"I don't know, Xander. She's been exhausted Buffy recently. I tried to talk to her about it, but she just shrugs it off." Willow half smiled and shrugged herself.

"Buffy might need some space." Oz said. Xander snorted.

"We are not the space giving kind." Xander proclaimed loudly. "We are the one for all, all for one types."

Buffy snorted and shifted in the chair, and Giles felt his anger ignite. Was it truly too much for them to let his slayer sleep?

"She isn't dating like at all. I thought she might have gone out with that cute guy, Parker, but she just got sick." Willow shrugged.

"She's the smart one there," Oz said. "Parker is bad news. Brags about his conquests like it's a game."

"So, the world's not so much on Buffster's string, so what? She's still Buffy." Xander said very quietly as he eyed Giles.

"Adjustments can be hard for young women. They are usually at their most vulnerable when their world seems at flux," Anya looked at them with a smile and shrugged. "Buffy isn't physically vulnerable, but she is the only one of you that did not discuss what Gachnar made her feel."

"Buffy must have resisted the fear inducing aspects of his power," Giles said with a grim expression.

"She wound up in the room with the summoning circle," Anya said. "She had to be afraid, lost to her fears, same as the rest of you. Gachnar wasn't a fool. She'd never have gotten so close unless her fear had manifested."

"She pulled me out of it. I was being attacked by my own spell, and Buffy made my fear just go away. She did it for all of us." Willow looked to Giles, but he was staring at Buffy intently.

"Maybe it's a slayer thing?" Xander looked between Anya and Willow.

Giles took several deep breaths, forcing the ongoing inanity of the conversation out of his mind. Buffy needed him. He could feel her through their bond. He had been pushing her away because of his inappropriate emotions, but it didn't matter. Her needs came first.

He looked back at the others with irritation. They were important to Buffy and to him, but the nature of the watcher slayer bond was a jealous thing. It was a private and holy thing. Buffy had always included others in their lives, and he welcomed the assistance that kept her alive. He had even tolerated Angel's return despite his desire for revenge. For Buffy, he had set aside his need to kill the vampire. The cold truth being that he could not harm what Buffy loved and still belong to her. He bowed his head and looked at the ring on his hand. Despite their love for her, he wanted them gone tonight. His instincts were screaming and he needed to answer their call.

"Perhaps we should allow her to get some rest and continue this conversation at another time." His voice sounded clipped and formal.

"But," Willow looked at him with confusion as Oz grabbed her hand and nodded at Giles.

"She needs the rest, Willow. Let Giles take care of her." Oz said quietly.

"I guess it is getting late," Xander said as he stood and held his hand out to Anya. "I'll walk you home. Not everything finds bunnies terrifying."

Giles followed them to the door and forced a kind smile to his face as they waved goodbye and headed toward the van. He could feel his slayer pulling at him and closed the door, turning the deadbolt for the first time. She was safe with him. He walked into his living room and considered what to do.

She couldn't get a good night's sleep curled up in that chair. He picked her up gently. Her warm breath rushed against the skin of his neck sending a shiver down his spine. He walked up the stairs with his precious burden. His room was dark, his bed made. A surge of magic lit a candle and turned down the duvet. He placed her gently on his bed and carefully shifted her body around as he removed her shoes and tucked her into his bed.

"Beauty and power combined into one fierce and defiant package." He stroked a finger along her cheek. He could feel magic on her, his magic. The spells he had used to see the truth of the house had freed her from her fear. The resonance he had sensed the other night had aided them, but he needed to know what had caused it and why it continued.

Resonance dissipated, yet this seemed stronger than before. Whatever spell had caused it must still be acting on them. He needed to research. He stroked her face again. Her eyes danced beneath her lids as her dream caught hold. He pulled away.

"Pleasant dreams, Buffy."

The books were piling high on his desk when her screams rent the air. The agonized, guttural sounds filled him with dread as he took the stairs three at a time. She was thrashing and arching on his bed. Her agony was palpable. He laid a hand on her shoulder, trying to wake her, and she grabbed his arm and tossed him to the bed beside her. A growl escaped her lips as she slid protectively over him. He looked into her face shocked to find her still trapped in her dream.

"Buffy, sweeting, please wake up," he spoke softly into her shoulder and her body relaxed on top of his. "It's just a dream."

She slid to his side. Her left arm and leg were still on him, holding him close. The soft puffs of her breath on his skin slowed and evened as her dream retreated. he tried to shift away from her and she whimpered.

"Please don't leave me. You promised to stay. Please." The words were whispered softly against his shoulder. He stroked her hair gently, hoping to relax her back into a deep sleep.

"I'm here. Just rest, Buffy." He said softly and kissed her forehead. Peace filled him. His slayer was safe in his arms. "I'll hold you for as long as you want me."

He thought about the books he wanted to review, rugby, a proper fry up, anything to keep the reality of her in his arms and his bed at bay. The body in his arms soothed him. it was so right to hold her, to protect her. She rolled away and he meant to get up and return to his research, he truly did. He looked at her golden hair flowing across his pillow and sighed. He rolled closer to her and curled around her. For this one night, he would hold his love safe and content. He closed his eyes and drifted into dreamless slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

Ethan watched out of the side of his eyes as Buffy shifted in the passenger seat of his car. Her hair was braided and she was dressed in the plainest outfit he could imagine her wardrobe held. He had waited for her in the overly decorated waiting room for over an hour. It had been one of the worst hours of his life. He wondered how long he would be waiting for her to tell him anything. He coughed.

"Did you know his family? Do you know their medical history and stuff? I'm supposed to know it." Buffy continued to look out the window as the highway carried them closer to Sunnydale.

"We met in London. There's a sister, I believe. I never met his parents. I know they were both alive in the seventies, but that's about it." Ethan said. "Not much help I'm afraid."

"I'm having twins, Ethan. They don't run in my family. I am growing two living beings inside me. There are two beating hearts in there. They had this machine that let me hear them. They're so fast."

Ethan waited for her to continue. There was no point rushing the panic attack he could hear coming on. He might be able to delay it long enough to find something for her to kill. She seemed to enjoy killing things.

"How am I going to do this? Single mother of twins doesn't line up with college student and slayer. I mean I'm due in May. May is never good in Sunnydale. There is always some crazy demon bent on destroying the world and twins frequently come early. So, I have more of a due time frame than a date. I'm going to get fat. The freshmen fifteen does not cover this."

"We will figure it out. I can help you. Perhaps we should tell your friends. They would be glad to help you." Ethan smiled at her hopefully. They could also handle her emotional swings with more grace than he possessed.

"They would run to Giles. He's the go to guy in a crisis. Then it would all be for naught and he would be stuck with me forever." She leaned her forehead against the window. "I woke up in his bed after Halloween. It was so nice to pretend for a minute that I belonged. I went downstairs and he had all this research going on. He tucked me in like a little girl because I fell asleep in his living room. Hell, he had breakfast waiting for me and sent me off to school like a little kid."

Ripper had lost his touch with women or this one had him so buggered he couldn't think straight. He knew Ripper, and this woman was no little girl to his old friend. The spell never would have worked if he didn't see her and want her as a woman.

"I had Xander go tell him about the cursed beer and having to rescue Willow and those devolved idiots. One minute I can't stand keeping all this from him and the next I am terrified of how violated he's going to feel."

"Buffy, he's adapting everyday. You'll be able to tell him soon." Ethan assured her.

"Before May?"

"One can only hope." Ethan patted her knee. "I will not be your birthing coach or take Lamaze with you."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy finally turned and looked squarely at him. "Did I ask you to be anywhere near the birth?"

"I read the pamphlets while I waited. There was more information about your current state in those than I need or desire to possess." He smirked. "I shall never be able to clean my brain of it."

"Your brain is nothing." She somehow managed to giggle bitterly. "I'm eighteen years old. I am going to blow up like a giant, vulnerable beach ball and the vampires are going to laugh when I try to stake them. How am I going to hide this? When the big bad shows it's face and laughs at me, what am I supposed to do? Giles would know, but I can't tell him because saying I'm pregnant and I don't know how I got that way is so not an option."

"One lie is better than another?" Ethan asked archly. She smacked him lightly and stuck out her tongue at him.

"I can keep it a secret to save him. It's just the one big secret. I hate doing it, but it has to be done. If I start lying about the pregnancy, it will never stop. I'll be lying like a rug all the time. I'll hate it, and he would catch me." She leaned back into her seat with a groan. "He has to be safe from attack. I have two passengers on board that are counting on him, even if it isn't fair."

"If we find the culprits, you will be able to tell him without him running off half cocked and unsafe." Ethan said. "You are keeping him safe. All of you are."

Buffy nodded. Her eyes returning to the passing landscape.

"I need him. I don't feel right when he's not around, ya know? I hate being all avoidy Buffy." She sighed and his guilt stirred. She could tell him everything. There would be risk involved, but it could be done. He would never get Ripper back that way. He stole another glance at the young woman next to him. She had stolen Ripper before she'd been born. Her dainty hand had reached out and he had answered the call.

"It's only for a little while. Then you can couple your name with other made up adjectives in endless combinations." He heard her sigh again. She was young, pregnant, frightened, and noble. He couldn't help but admire her devotion. He was counting on it after all.


	16. Chapter 16

Buffy stared blankly at the poster on the back of her door. Willow was out with Oz again. The poor guy wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone since Willow decided that he was hot for some singer chick. She sighed, wrapped in her own moral dilemma.

"Stupid Ethics 101," she snarled. Everything was wrong. She rested her hands on her stomach. Everything about this confused her. Saving Giles had been the right choice, but keeping the truth from him felt wrong. Especially as the truth kept getting more complicated.

The twins would be her responsibility. She couldn't ask him to be a father to them when he had had no input on the making of them. She looked at her book as it rested on the floor. The man in the case study had known he was taking a risk by having sex. Giles hadn't. She rolled onto her side and let the tears come. A knock at the door made her heart jump before she remembered that Willow had warned her about a friend dropping off some borrowed notes.

"Come in," she called as she quickly wiped at her face.

"You know better, Pet." Spike said as he slid in through the door. "Do you want to die?"

"No, but you must," Buffy said as she grabbed the stake from under her pillow.

"I knew you slept with that damn thing." Spike held up his hands, showing her his bare palms. He looked half starved and their were bruises and burns visible on most of his skin. "I come in the spirit of well not so much peace as let's just not kill each other since Angel's off his gourd again."

"What are you talking about? Angel doesn't even live in Sunnydale anymore." Buffy stood up and glared at the vampire still pressed to her door with his hands up.

"You mean he hasn't attacked yet? It took me three damn days to get free. He has to be here." Spike dropped his hands, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Again I'm saying what are you talking about?" Buffy ground out and raised her stake threateningly.

"Your beloved ex. He wasn't so happy to hear about your impending joy. He's probably hunting down the new man as we speak. Punish the both of you." Spike looked at her expectantly.

"There's no new man," Buffy lowered her stake.

"Oh, please tell me it's not the annoying boy's."

"What?" Buffy growled. "Make sense."

"My sire is here, probably hunting the chap that stuck the bun in your oven. So who do we have to save?" Spike looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Giles, he's after Giles. No." Buffy panicked and grabbed the phone. "Be okay. Please, be okay."

"The watcher, really?" Spike asked as she hung up the phone.

"He's not answering. I have to go." She shoved her feet into her sneakers and headed for the door. Spike stepped aside and fell into step behind her. She glared at him over her shoulder.

"I did come to help." Spike snarled at her. "Gave my word, seems I'm bound to it."

They ran through the night until they came to the courtyard outside Giles' apartment. Buffy stopped as she saw the Citroen pull into its usual parking space. Her fists clenched as Giles got out of the car and hurried around to help Olivia from the car. The Thai food hung in a yellow plastic bag between them as Giles kissed Olivia. Buffy took several deep breaths, and watched as the couple strolled into his home.

"Angel's not here. No sense of him at all. Shall we check the perimeter?" Spike put a steady hand on her lower back. "Want to explain what's going on? Any fool can see you're hurting, pet."

"It's a long, complicated story." Buffy said as she moved around the courtyard, checking for any danger to her watcher.

"I'm a vampire, Pet. I've got some time on my hands." Spike neared the door and Stopped suddenly. "I can't get any closer to the house. Why can't I get any closer to the damn building?"

"I guess it's the flowers." Buffy said. "Part of the long, complicated story."

Feminine laughter sounded from inside the apartment and Buffy closed her eyes. This was not what she needed. Spike touched her shoulder and she flinched.

"He hasn't been here, and there's no way he'll think the watcher's the one with him carrying on with the other bird. Why don't we find someplace quiet where you can tell me what's going on?"

Buffy nodded and spun away from the flowered pathway. She could hear Spike following behind her as she ran toward the closest cemetery. She needed something to kill. The night sparkled around her and she honed, looking for prey to satisfy her needs.

She had dusted five vamps and ripped the head of some sort of slithering demon before she stopped to rest against an old crypt. Spike walked around it and nodded his head thoughtfully. She watched him through narrowed eyes.

"Have you got all the hate and anger out of your system then?" He tilted his head to the side and looked at her intently. She shrugged.

"I needed to slay, and they needed slaying."

"Let's check this place out," Spike pulled the door open and smiled. "You can tell me your story, all the long complicated bits."

"Someone attacked Giles. He got this fever and he was dying. His magic was burning him up from the inside out. I did a spell to save him. This was just a special parting gift." Buffy stepped into the darkened crypt. "Wow, it looked smaller from the outside."

"Watcher got you pregnant doing sex magic and he's carrying on with some other bird? Sure you don't want Angel to work him over?" Spike asked as he examined the stained glass windows.

"He doesn't remember the spell, and I can't tell him until we catch whoever caused all of this. It's not really fair to him, but I have no choice. I'll figure out how to handle all of this and the babies." Buffy bit her lip and looked at Spike. "Tell me what's going on with Angel."

"Boyo still has his soul, but he's acting like he don't. I told him you were on the nest and he went out of his head, broke his chains and took me and another older vamp down in a matter of seconds. He got some warlock to do me but good. I can't feed from humans anymore. Only pig's blood 'til I find the bastard." Spike rolled his neck and snarled.

"Well, that explains the helpful act." Buffy snorted. "So, you need my help finding out how to fix you. I'll do it, but you have to help me with patrols and stuff until we get all this craziness settled. The pregnancy, it makes all this difficult. I'm doing okay, but I need more rest."

"If my stupid sire hasn't scented you yet, your witch might be able to cook up some sort of charm to mask the scent and sound of your tag a longs." At her sharp glance, he raised his hands. "You said babies and I can hear three hearts beating."

"Fine," Buffy nodded. "I can't tell any of them what's going on. They'd run right to Giles. I can't risk that."

"So, it's you and me trying to figure this out alone?" Spike stared at her in shock.

"No, I have some help." Buffy looked away from his incredulous gaze.

"So, someone has unleashed magic in your watcher and the evil in my sire and you have some help. Why isn't this all hands on deck?"

"I told you it was complicated." Buffy said as her shoulders slumped.


	17. Chapter 17

The night was still, but it was that very peace that disturbed him. Giles stared up at his darkened ceiling and thought about the odd anxiety that had plagued him all night. Something was wrong. He had felt it as they approached the flat. He thought about calling Buffy and asking about patrol, but he abhorred the awkward conversations they had shared recently. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand. The night of his illness had changed something between them, opened up a gulf, a gulf she was protecting. He closed his eyes and forced himself to consider his current situation.

It had been a pleasant enough evening. Olivia had surprised him with an unplanned visit. The food had been good, the company amusing, and the sex had been acceptable. He grimaced. What was he becoming? A beautiful, creative partner was no longer enough to satisfy him. He needed more. Giles slid out from under Olivia's clinging limbs without waking her. He took a deep breath as relief and guilt swirled through him. He looked at his lover and considered making a clean break.

He rubbed his hand over his face and bit back a sigh. Olivia was a dear friend, but this latest chapter in their relationship was heading toward disaster. She wanted so much from him, more than he would ever have to offer her.

She was pushing him to return to England, and, while part of him longed to return to the land of his birth, he couldn't imagine his life without Buffy.

Waking up with her wrapped in his arms after Halloween had been heaven. He had hated letting the fantasy of it go. She would never be his, never want to be his. She did not even see him as a man. He darted a guilty glance at Olivia. He was trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea. Longing for a fantasy that would never be real, he lived in a reality he wanted to be done with. He shook his head and headed for the stairs.

He pulled out several books to review. There were answers to find. Eventually, he would hit upon the correct line of inquiry and reveal the truth. He looked out onto his patio and gazed at the flowers, a feeling of contentment welling within him. They bloomed constantly. What kind of spell could have made them? Blooming flowers were usually the result of fertility or bonding rites, but those were elaborate spells. He couldn't have done something like that in an altered state. He needed to know what he had done to make them and why Buffy was involved.

"Christ, she could be hurt by this," he whispered. It was the only thing that mattered. He paged through the book hoping for inspiration. When the flap of a matchbook caught his eye. He plucked it and flipped it about. It was from a bar just outside of town, a bar sorcerers frequented.

"Should have known you'd find your way back to the books, Ripper." Olivia looked at him with amusement. "Aren't you knackered?"

"I've been neglecting my research, Liv."

"So you toddled back to your true love." She pulled a face and moved so the long line of her leg was revealed, trying to tempt him.

"Passion is not love, Liv." He looked at her steadily. He set the bit of card stock on his desk and leaned back in his chair.

"As you say." She waved her hand at him haughtily. "You never could be without a book, not even in the good old days."

"Knowledge is seductive."

"Those skills you are so fond of are going to waste here. You're not working on anything of any import. I can understand chucking the job at the museum. You were always too alive to sit in some sad laboratory looking at objects other men pulled from the grasp of history, but why here? Why won't you come with me?"

"I have a place here." He stood and glanced out at his flowers again. "I belong."

"You have no job, no friends, no local to pop down to. This isn't a life, Ripper." Olivia sat on the railing overlooking the room.

"I have my friends." He dropped his gaze afraid she would see his love for Buffy.

"You have former students like that hapless blonde creature that stumbled in here. She wants a tutor. I would imagine she's getting on quite well with all the lads on campus."

"Leave off, Liv. There is no need to get catty about Buffy. She thinks of me as a surrogate father."

"If you want children, it might be time to give up other men's and make some of your own." Olivia's voice rang through the flat.

"You offering to serve as my brood mare then, are you?" He snarled. "How are we going to run about the globe taking pictures of all and sundry while our children languish in the tender care of a nanny?"

"There are worse things, but we could always bring them along. You could teach them and we could show them the world." Olivia smiled at him, but his mind took flight. He could see Buffy standing beside him with a child on her hip. He closed his eyes as he looked at the blonde girl staring at him with his own eyes. He forced his eyes open. The fantasies had to stop.

"I'm not ready to leave, Olivia. I would love to travel and live a full life, but I need to be here for now."

Her lovely eyes narrowed. He looked away, gazing out at the flowers again and thought about another set of eyes. He looked at the books scattered across his desk. The answers could wait.

"Leave it all, Ripper. Come to bed. I may not have the answers, but I can make you forget the questions for a bit, yeah?"

Giles turned the switch on his desk lamp off and stood in the darkness for a moment. There was comfort and distraction waiting for him.


	18. Chapter 18

The light was bright and unrelenting. Annoying, but hardly detrimental. The humans needed to keep the monsters they were collecting illuminated as if shadows would allow them to dissolve and escape. Superstitious idiots to the last, they poisoned their own environment to keep the unknown at bay. The smell of disinfectant permeated the place. It was wholly unpleasant. Screams of frustration and pain sounded out occasionally. The whimpering was more annoying. It was a constant, pitiful background for everything else. How did they exist like this?

Hours, days bled into each other. He didn't care. There were plans to make. The bags of blood he refused to eat lay piled in the corner. These military fools thought of demons as mindless beasts. He listened to the sounds of his fellow inmates slurping at the drugged offerings and considered the fact that his captors were at least partly correct. How could they be so foolish?

Angel rested on the cold floor. There was no need to use his eyes to observe the humans surrounding him. They felt so safe in their demonic zoo, with all the dangerous creatures behind electronic bars. He focused his thoughts and listened as the men chatted about the corpse they had found, a werewolf by their description. The idiots were calling it an unidentified HST. Brainless fools, they had been in the forties and nothing had changed. They were still trying to study and control demons. He bit back the urge to snort. It was best they think him sleeping and weak.

He thought for a moment of Oz. He was one of Buffy's. What if the werewolf they had found was Oz? This group could hurt her, and he would not allow it. Only he was allowed to hurt her. He felt his body stir at the notion and lost himself in imagining her frightened eyes, tear stained and begging as he reminded her of her place.

"There was some kind of fight. The docs found hair and stuff from another one, so we've got a live one out there blending in with the students somehow." The male walked with another past his cell.

"Thet sent Finn over to check on the Rosenburg girl. She spends a lot of time in the lab. She might know something." The other guard replied.

"She won't know a damn thing. No one in this town knows anything. It's bizarre. How can they not notice? There's a demon bar in town. How do they miss that?"

"Maybe we'll figure that out, but Walsh said to leave it be for now. We need to wait. We aren't ready to move against them openly. We just don't know enough to eliminate the threat."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but it bugs me. There are humans dying and we sit here studying the damn things and waiting. Just seems wrong somehow. I hate this recon shit."

"You hate attending classes."

"Like you love it, Dick Wad."

The voices trailed off as rage swelled in him. They were planning a war. He smiled momentarily at the thought. It was a war they would lose, but Buffy was in danger. They would want her, want to study her, and they were already too close. He was going to kill them all. Then he would find his slayer and punish her for putting herself in danger, and if it turned out Spike had been telling the truth he would punish her for that as well. He hummed softly as he imagined Buffy bound at his feet, her sweet eyes filled with tears, as he killed her human lover slowly.

Time flowed slowly as he formulated plans and imagined torturing his beloved Buffy in myriad ways. The unwavering light shifted as the annoying woman stopped outside his cell. He forced his mind from the delicious vision of Buffy hanging from shackles as he licked blood from her recently whipped back. He opened his eyes and let the remembered taste of Buffy's blood slide from his attention. Some things would have to wait.

"Hostile 15 is still refusing to feed. It rarely moves." One of the male lackeys informed her. "He does not behave in the predicted fashion."

"What did the boys bring in tonight, Angleman?" Her voice was stern, inviting no conversation.

"Five vampires and a small lizard like demon." He reported as they stared at him.

"Put him in the pit with the vampires. I want to watch how they feed as a group. This might provide an opportunity to further our knowledge." She tapped her pen against her chin. "It should prove informative."

Angel closed his eyes and relaxed. In a few minutes, he would get to work off a bit of his frustration. He heard the cell door slide open, he rolled and stared into the hall. These humans amused him with their inanity. He stood up and rolled his shoulders. It would be good to kill something.

He walked down the hall toward the large room, taking in every detail of his prison. He preferred his work pace to be more atmospheric. He rubbed his chin. Buffy hated hospitals. Perhaps this facility would serve his needs.

The large room would be easy enough to escape from, surrounded by walkways. It wouldn't be any stress for him to leap out. He watched as five young fledges walked into the room. He watched as they moved together. They were so young you could still smell the grave dirt. He cracked his knuckles and waited for them to approach him.

"He's the food? They wants us to eat him?" The only female in the group asked. She looked vaguely familiar. "He doesn't have a heart beat. Oh well, go get him boys. I am a bit hungry."

She waved her hands at the four dim wits In front of her and they charged him. He grinned and swirled about, letting the first two pass him, grabbing the second pair, and slamming their heads together. Their bodies dropped to the ground as he sprang for the least confused of this idiot's minions. The dumb fool was wearing a Sunnydale High Varsity Team jacket. One of Buffy's losses, he supposed as he yanked the fool's head back and bit down, drinking until the vamp burst to dust.

"Baby Bear, you ate my baby, you big nasty." The blonde snarled and lunged toward Angel as her other minion approached from his left. He smiled and caught her against him turning and kicking her would be rescuer to the ground.

"Stay down, Boyo. I want to have a little chat with your Mummy." He smiled at the dazed minion and trailed his fingers along her side. Something young and blonde to play with and three easy meals. There were worse situations.

"I'm Harmony the vampire."

"Of course you are," he purred next to her ear. "Do you want to have a little fun?"

"I know you. You used to hang with that freak." He cut off her words by ripping out her throat.

"A pity," he smiled at her and wrenched her head from his shoulders. "We might have had a bit of fun."

He shook her ashes from his hands and smiled at her remaining minions. The blood inside them wasn't tainted and he was hungry. He licked his lips in anticipation.


	19. Chapter 19

Oz pulled his van to a stop and got out. He had one more stop to make because he couldn't be here to help, and he needed to ask for a favor. He mounted the stairs to the girl's dorm room and knocked. Buffy opened the door and looked directly into his eyes. He felt he crackle of her power, stronger now than it had ever been.

"You're leaving," she said simply as she grabbed her jacket and stepped out of the room next to him.

"I have to go, Buffy. It's killing me, but I could hurt Willow or one of you. I couldn't take that." He looked into her eyes again and saw understanding in her gaze. "I wanted to talk with you before I left."

Buffy nodded and walked with him out of the building. She always understood him. Willow was his everything, Devon was his best guy pal, and Buffy was his best friend. She had always understood him. He'd never tell her. She didn't need to be torn any further apart. Her loyalty needed to stay with Willow.

The sun hit her hair and he smiled. She was a creature of extremes, and so was he, creatures of the sun and moon, predators. She looked back at him and they nodded heading away from the building, away from the temptation to stay.

"She's gonna need you. I have to go and be gone. No phone calls, no letters, no lingering, I can't do it if I keep looking back." He said sadly as they stopped and stared out over the quad. "I want to stay, but I could kill her."

"I know." She touched his shoulder easily. "I don't want it to come down to us."

He nodded accepting the comfort of her touch and finding comfort in the implied threat of her words as well.

"You'd win." He quirked a half smile in her direction.

"Maybe not, you never really know, you know?" She tilted her head back and looked up at the clouds.

"I need you to do something. Keep her safe for me. I know you keep us all safe, but I just broke her and I can't fix it. You went through it with Angel. Help her." He turned so he could look at her.

"You don't need to ask me. I'll do the best I can. She's my Willow, too." Buffy dropped her gaze back to the crowd.

"I wanted to say some other stuff." Oz made a face. Buffy was a talker. Most of the time they communicated silently, but this time he couldn't leave it to chance. When in Buffy's world do as Buffy.

"Just say it." She smiled.

"Tell him, Buffy. I don't know what you did to save him, but I can sense the power in you. He needs to know."

"I can't, Oz." Her gaze fell to the grass under their feet. "For about a million reasons that make me ache. I have to protect him and the rest of you."

"I get that, but it's going to hurt you both. It is hurting both of you. He can handle it. Whatever it is." He grabbed her hand and pulled her around to face him. "He deserves to know, doesn't he?"

"You know?" He saw the fear in her eyes and felt sorry for putting it there.

"I know you smell different, Buffy. I know my wolf feels a weakness in you. You need protecting now." Oz frowned as her gaze dropped to the ground again.

"I'm doing what I can. I have to protect myself for now. It's just the way it is." She crossed her arms across her chest.

"Some things will never change. I know that song, but, Buffy, he deserves to know what you did and what is coming. You can't just drop this on him."

"I'm not going to drop it on him. This was my choice. It saved him, but I won't force him to take responsibility for it. He would hate that. He has a girlfriend now." She bit back a sob. "He has a life. I want that for him."

"What about you? What about..." His voice trailed off. "He would want to know."

"I can't steal his future from him. I won't. He's given me everything, given up everything for me. He deserves more than me and my destiny. I am going to figure out how to take care of everything else. I know I don't have forever, but I'll do it. I have to do it, Oz."

"I wish I could stay and help. I hate leaving Willow. It's agony. This is the worst time for me to go, and I know it. You don't need the extra responsibility of Willow right now. I see that. At least consider telling him. You shouldn't do this alone. You really shouldn't." He looked away as guilt burned through him.

"There's a price to pay, you know. I'd pay it and more to keep any of you safe, and he's Giles." She looked at him with unshed tears in her eyes. "I can't risk losing him."

Oz studied her. She wasn't going to tell Giles. He knew it and he ached for her. He looked out across the quad again and felt himself wavering. Willow was here, his home, his heart. Buffy was heading into trouble. He closed his eyes and reached for his center, but all he could find was struggle.

"You have to go, Oz. I understand it. This isn't like Angel leaving. He just couldn't be strong around me. You are going because you have to get a handle on this thing. Killing takes a toll." She swallowed and pulled him back to face her. "When I ran away after I sent Angel to hell, it was like this. I was afraid of myself, of what I would do. I know Veruca wasn't your true love, but you felt something for her. I get it."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I know this makes it all harder for you." He looked at her sad smile and knew he had to go. Willow's tear streaked face rose in his mind and he swallowed before he turned and left.

"Take care, Oz." Her words drifted after him on the afternoon breeze. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and hunched his shoulders. His thoughts turning to Willow. Pain ripped through him as he headed away from his heart.


	20. Chapter 20

Buffy stared at Giles as he drank his tea and nibbled on a cookie. She couldn't choke anything down. It would probably just come back up. She fought the urge to rub her belly. It wouldn't do to draw attention to her body, he would notice the changes. She sure didn't miss his. He looked relaxed and happy. His clothing was less formal. Olivia was good for him, much as that sucked.

She shifted and looked out the window. The flowers were still beautiful, a riot of color in the background of his world. She took several deep breaths and tried to fight off the gathering tears. Breaking down here was not of the good. So not.

"Buffy, the commandos pose a very real threat. With our team reduced, we must consider your living conditions. They may have been after Willow, but you are also at risk." He stared at her intently.

"Willow is moving in with some friend that lives off campus for a while. Not so much that anyone would notice, but she won't be at the room unless I am. I hate it, but she needs to be safe."

"It would be best if you could find a more secure living arrangement as well." Giles' concern was evident. "You could stay here. I would be glad to take the couch."

"No can do, Giles. If they are watching our room, it needs to look normal. I have to stay. I'm not loving it. Believe me. Plus, I am so not leading them here. I need to know your safe, so I'm dorm girl."

"I don't like it." He ground out. "You could move home with your mother."

"I can't put her in danger. I've been trying to talk her into visiting family for the holidays. She agreed to go for Thanksgiving." Buffy frowned and twisted her hands together. "I guess I'll be doing the lonely holiday thing. Mice plan's I guess."

"Mice plans?" Giles looked confused and she bit back a smile. This befuddled man was the watcher she adored.

"You know, best laid plans," she smiled as he shook his head. "And I don't need to know the correct quotation, Brainy man."

"No, as usual, you have your own unique form of expression. One might almost call it language." He smiled at her and she tossed a pillow at him playfully.

"We should train. You've been skipping sessions. I need to know your at your best out there with all that's going on." Giles smiled at her and walked toward the weapons chest.

"Could we practice honing then?" Buffy bit her lip. He was bound to know something was up after that. Time to babble. "I need it more with everything coming at me. I've got to keep an eye out for humans and their silly costumes as well as the usual assortment of baddies."

She felt her heart beat triple time as he smiled approvingly at her. Great. Now she had to do all the stupid honing exercises to avoid hurting the babies for no good reason. She smiled back at him. Giles rolled out the yoga mat he kept for the rare occasions he could actually cajole her into this kind of training. She rolled her eyes and got off the comfy couch to go sit on the floor.

She sank gracefully onto the mat and waited for him to start instructing her. She focused on the flowers just outside and rolled her shoulders back. Good posture was key. He touched her with his long fingers as he sat behind her. His long legs extended out beside her. She could feel the warmth of him despite the distance between their bodies. His fingers were suddenly gone and she felt tears gathering.

"Are you ready?" His voice soothed her. Buffy nodded. "Let your mind and body relax."

Buffy let her mind wander as he droned on. It was always the same silly spiel. Relax, reach out with your senses. Blah, blah, blah. She loved the sound of his voice. The words didn't matter. She stretched her senses out and searched for sources of power. Giles was glowing like a sun behind her. Her body started to tremble and he reached out to steady her. The moment he touched her the world fell away. Buffy opened her eyes and looked around the old library.

"I miss this place," she said quietly.

"I must admit I have fond memories of it as well." Giles said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"So, how did we get here?" She let her body relax against his. "This has sure never happened before."

He turned her around and looked at her intently. She gave in to her body's demands and met his gaze. They took deep breaths and let the moment stretch.

"Will we remember this when we get back where we belong?" She searched his face for the answer.

"Most likely. Why?" He raised one eyebrow and waited for her answer.

"I want to remember this." It was true enough.

"I was thinking about the first time we practiced honing. I somehow dragged you into my memory. It is unusual." He let her go and examined their surroundings. "It appears to be accurate and real. Can you hone in on any threats?"

Buffy extended her senses out again and gasped as the flowers appeared around them in a circle. They looked just as they had after the spell. She looked to her watcher and caught his speculative gaze. This was not of the good. He stepped toward her.

"Are you in control of this?" He put his hand down on a table and she watched in horror as it began to shift. It flickered for a moment and became his bed. Buffy clutched her hands in front of her and backed away from him.

"Nope, I didn't do that." Buffy tried to fight down the hysteria clawing at her. He looked around the space and smiled.

"Come here, Buffy." Giles held out his hand and she moved toward him.

"What's going on?" She asked as their fingers entwined and he pulled her close.

"It's a form of resonance. I wanted this so my mind created it. I cast a strong spell the night my magic broke free and it keeps affecting us." He smiled wryly. "I need you to tell me more about that night."

"You ran a fever. I helped you. Ethan was the problem. I don't know what else I can tell you." She looked at his chin unable to meet his eyes. He forced her gaze up with a finger crooked under her chin. She pulled back from him and moved a few steps away. Her whole body was trembling.

"What did I do to you, Buffy? Please tell me." His eyes looked tortured and she whimpered in response. Denying him was torture.

"I'm sorry, Giles. I'm so sorry." She spun and threw her senses wide, looking for an escape. She felt a familiar pulse and jumped toward it blindly, his curses ringing in her ears.

The world spun and she found herself square on her feet in a cemetery. Faith looked at her from her perch on a tombstone. Her eyes narrowed even as her lips smiled.

"Well, if it isn't big sis. How's it hanging, B?" She didn't move to attack.

"It seems pretty complicated right now," Buffy said as she leaned back against a large monument.

"Yeah, the whole real world thing must be a drag. I'm just here, waiting, not getting my slay on. You being here makes a change." The brunette slayer shrugged.

"Are you okay?" Buffy bit her lip. Stupid question.

"Maybe one by five. Gets lonely, ya know, but they're coming."

"What are you talking about?"

Faith smiled and pointed at a group of tweed wearing men weaving their way through the graveyard with ease. Buffy shivered.

"All their dolls are broken, and they want a new toy. Maybe they'll leave you alone, B. I sure hope so. I forgive you, ya know. Lots of time to think while I sit here. You're my only family. At least you cared enough to try to kill me, Big Sis."

"Faith, I'll save you. I'll find a way." Buffy reached out toward the other slayer but the space between them stretched as she was yanked back to reality.

"Buffy, Love, you must wake up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please come back to me." Giles voice sounded panicked. One hand stroked through her hair and two fingers rested on her pulse. She wrenched herself away from him and collapsed in tears. He crawled across the floor and pulled her into his fought for a moment before she relaxed against his broad chest. It had been too long since she had felt secure.

"I'm sorry, please," Buffy leaned back and stroked his face gently. "Please, forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you, Buffy. I just need to know what happened. This resonance," he took a deep breath. "It could hurt you. You promised me there wouldn't be any more secrets after Angel came back. I just need you to tell me the truth."

"I have," she sobbed and nuzzled her face into his chest. "I haven't lied."

"You're splitting hairs, Buffy. I need to know what is happening to us."

"Nothing is happening to us." She clutched him to her and sobbed. Telling him would be so easy. She wanted it, wanted to tell him everything. She looked up into his concerned face and barely held back a flood of words that would seal both their fates. She pushed him away from her and stood, trying to regain control.

"It's all too much. I'm being hunted by humans. I'm supposed to protect them, not fight them. I have to spend Thanksgiving and probably Christmas alone to keep everyone safe. Why do I keep trying to have a normal life? How can I keep us safe?" She spun around with her arms outstretched. He watched her from his place on the floor.

"We will figure it out, Buffy, and you will spend the holidays with me. I'm sure we can manage a turkey. I believe that is traditional." He stood and rested his hands on her shoulders. She shivered and nodded. He was letting her off the hook. She looked at the floor and fought back tears.


	21. Chapter 21

Spike watched the slayer doze on his sarcophagus. She had burst into his home reeking of magic and tears. Her façade had cracked wide open as she'd explained her needs. It hadn't come to begging because he'd found it all so amusing. He had waited for the urge to destroy her, but it hadn't come. She needed a place to feel safe. The watcher was a fool and the sorcerer had his own agenda. Her friends were too vulnerable. She was falling to pieces and it was falling to him to pick the damn things up.

"I am so sick of crazy, bloody loons wrecking my unlife," he growled. "At least this one doesn't rave about pixies or singing stars."

He looked at his current problem, sleeping the sleep of the just, the soft blankets she had brought him protecting her from the cold stone. He paced the length of the room and bit back a curse. She needed the sleep, but he wanted to shake her. The wolf was gone, the sorcerer was useless, and Angel was out there somewhere waiting to torture them all.

He sat in his purloined chair and watched her breathe. The simple rise and fall of her chest was entrancing. She brought him blood everyday and something special. He looked at the book she had brought him despite her own life eroding. It was a book of Victorian poetry. He'd flipped through it. Knew them all, but it pulled at him. She'd found him a small fridge among the leavings from some vampire gang and hauled it to him the first day. There had been an old telly the next. The blankets had come along later. She was dressing his crypt in fripperies, and he adored her for it. No one had ever been kind to him like this, not since his mum.

"Thinking about killing me again, Spike?" She asked as she stretched like a cat.

"Fills my head with wonder and joy, it does." He said, shoving up out of his chair, and ignoring her amused glance.

"You're growing on me, too. Like a fungus." She smiled and wrinkled her nose. "How can I resist when you're all grr argh?"

He snarled at her and she laughed. It was a full and lovely sound and he shook his head in wonder at his enjoyment of her mirth. He watched as her body moved a bit slower than usual. The twins were slowing her, putting her at risk. She needed help, and he was it.

He remembered watching his older sister die by inches in his human existence. Her body stretched beyond its ability with miscarriage after miscarriage. His mother had stood stoically and watched her heartless son in law remarry within three months of her daughter's passing. The agony of it had never ceased. He had killed the bastard in his first week as a vampire, made him suffer.

"Where are you?" Buffy asked. "You just spaced out there."

"Thinking, Slayer," he said snidely. "Know it's not something you're fond of doing, but some of us enjoy it."

"Yeah, yeah," she sassed him, waving her hand dismissively. "College students never have to think."

"With what passes for an education at that fine establishment shaping your brain, they shouldn't have to." He smirked and enjoyed calling forth another giggle. Drusilla would rip his intestines out if she could see him now, lap dog to a slayer. He listened to the heart beats within her and knew he would never be able to go back to his old life.

"You need to be careful, Spike. These guys were trying to take Willow from our room, and I don't know why. I need to circle the wagons, but I don't know where or what the threat is."

"Angel wouldn't hire thugs, not elegant enough. Where is Red now?"

"She's staying with a friend from some Wicca group. It's off campus. My stupid Psych TA keeps stopping by, asking about her. I'm getting tired of playing clueless roomie. I said the fraternity pranks had made her uncomfortable and she's never around anymore." She spun around on the balls of her feet. "You need another chair and a table."

"I'm a vampire, Pet."

"Too good for creature comforts?" Her raised eyebrow was warning enough to drop the subject. The blankets and ice box were nice and the telly was magnificent.

"No, focused on getting our ducks in a row. We have more enemies than we know what to do with on a normal day, and now we have commandos." He shook his head. "We could use your watcher's brain on this one."

"Done. Talked to him before I came here." She looked at the ground as fresh tears gathered in her eyes.

"Didn't tell him everything though, did you?" He watched her crumple a bit more.

"I told you I can't. Ethan even explained it." She grimaced and tossed her arms up in the air. "I am doing the best I can. I'm the slayer first. I have to keep them safe."

"So, Buffy takes the vitamins and stops to window shop outside that baby boutique near the Espresso Pump and the slayer does everything else?" He shook his head. "The man needs to be told."

"I'll tell him just as soon as it's safe. Are you coming with me or pouting?" She cocked a hip and popped her hand onto it as if he had been the one napping.

"You need me for this one, and you know it. Stealing a comatose girl from a hospital ain't exactly your wheelhouse is it, Pet?"

"The only thing you've taken from a hospital before this is blood. We're both going along with Ethan's plan." She made a face like she'd been force fed a lemon and shuddered. "We are just the muscle on this mission."


	22. Chapter 22

Ethan rolled his eyes as his companions continued their constant bickering. Chaos save him from demented, protective vampires and pregnant slayers. It was a far more volatile combination than anything he had ever put into action.

"Are the two of you quite done?" Ethan said, exasperation clear in his voice. "Does it really matter what the bloody colonials call football? You're a Victorian for pity's sake."

"Ethan, are you trying to be a ginormous ass?" Buffy growled. "Spike can change. Most vampires don't, and granted he hasn't quite moved with the times, I mean look at the hair, but Spike actually exists in the world."

"Leave off defending me, Slayer. I can take care of myself." Spike glared at Ethan As he touched Buffy's shoulder from his seat in the rear of the car. "How are we supposed fit another girl in this tiny car of yours, Sorcerer?"

"We won't. Best place to her concealed is right where she is. I've set up the room and magicked it. Everyone other than the three of us will see an elderly woman in a near vegetative state once we get her into her room. The room is warded against outside magic. Even Ripper would have to be in the room to overcome them."

"I still don't see the watcher as some modern day Merlin." Spike grumbled. "Would make her bloody unstoppable with that at her back, and the Council tries to keep them apart. Just doesn't make any damn sense."

"They tried to kill me," Buffy said with a shrug. "They want weapons they can control and, according to them, we are interchangeable. One falls, another is called."

"Bloody fools." Ethan and Spike chorused and Buffy giggled.

"I'm gonna choose to be flattered." She swung the door open and stepped out into the night. Spike and Ethan joined her as they stared at the brightly lit building across the street.

"Hospitals, why does it have to be hospitals?" Buffy smirked. "They know me here, Ethan. I bring in Giles pretty frequently. Xander, too."

"No one will recognize you when you're wearing this." He held out a lab coat to her and the top to some green scrubs to Spike.

"You can't honestly think a lab coat would be enough of a disguise." Buffy glared at him.

"I enchanted the bloody things. Now, take them and put them on." Ethan shook the garments at his annoying companions. His patience was at an end.

"Why does she get to be the bloody doctor?" Spike curled his lip at the green fabric in his hand. "Just because I spent a century with a lunatic, I look like some buggered attendant to you?"

Ethan rolled his eyes. It never stopped. The two of them seemed to exist to drive him mad. There was something seriously wrong with this slayer of Rupert's. He watched as she smiled at the vampire and punched him lightly on the shoulder. She was far too friendly with the things she ought to kill. Thank Janus.

"That's from a set of scrubs, like surgeons wear." Her laughter was barely contained as she explained.

"That's fine then. I'm the one with the knife." Spike smiled as she snorted and gave over to laughter.

"Will the two of you pay attention. We don't have a great deal of time." Ethan felt mollified as they both turned toward him with determined expressions. "We must move her before they do their evening check or we will have to wait another day. It's a simple matter to move her, but the machines that monitor her will have to be spelled or security will be on us."

"Where are we moving her?" Buffy shifted as she slid her arms into the white coat. He watched as she became a mousy brunette, on the chubby side. Spike laughed. "The illusions won't hold long. Try to minimize contact with hospital personnel. The illusion will hold against some physical interaction, but to much will short it out and ruin our plan. Do you both understand?"

He slid the stethoscope around his neck and looked down at his suddenly meatier build. Buffy's unfamiliar face smiled at him and he winked at her. Magic was useful, yes, and fun, always. He gestured toward Spike and smiled as the vampire slid the large shirt over his head.

"I'm a bloody woman!" He glared at Ethan through the delicate features gracing his appearance.

"Do suck it up. It isn't as if you're truly converted. It's an illusion." Ethan snapped.

"Come on, Wilhelmina. Let's get this done." Buffy smiled through the illusion and Spike rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but you owe me." He snarled. "Saving bloody slayers from their own bloody wankers. No wonder Dru won't have me anymore."

They moved together ahead of him, Buffy slightly in the lead, trusting her back to a vampire and to him. She was amazing. Her allies had tried to kill her, but she let that slide for the necessity of the moment. Ripper was beyond lucky.

The trip to the other slayer's room was uneventful. Ethan looked at the lovely young woman lying comatose in the bed and was startled to feel a bit of sorrow. It was a waste of all that loveliness and power that she was abandoned without so much as a by your leave. He turned accusing eyes toward Ripper's pride and joy only to watch her rush to the other slayer's side.

"We're gonna get you out of here and keep you safe, Faith. I won't let anyone hurt you. We're starting over. I'm gonna be the good big sister I hold have been. Do you hear me? I'm never going to hurt you again." Buffy kissed the unresponsive brow and he watched as she pumped magic into the other slayer without being aware of it. Ripper was using a great deal of magic for his slayer to have so much to spare.

"Strange to see be in a room with to of these birds. Makes my fangs itch." Spike said, drawing Buffy's ire.

"Shut up, Spike." She growled. "Let's get her to the safe room. The watchers are on their way. We need her safe before I can deal with them. Ethan chanted as she removed the monitor leads from Faith's body. The machines continued to read her even as she was lifted by from her bed by Spike. Ethan tossed a towel on her body and suddenly she appeared to be a large pile of bed sheets.

"I knew I was dressed as an attendant, you prick." Spike snarled as he followed the slayer into the hall. Buffy paused as she realized she had no idea which way to go.

"Left to the first bend, then five doors down on the right." Ethan smiled as Buffy moved her fake form looking clumsy instead of graceful. He watched as she suddenly stiStopped and stopped.

"Get her to the room and stay there." Buffy hissed as she slowed and moved to a counter at the end of the hall. She grabbed a clip board and leaned against the counter, looking for all the world like a concerned and dedicated doctor. Ethan raised his brows and followed Spike quickly. The safe room was only meters away, but each one seemed to stretch to a kilometer as they moved to safety.


	23. Chapter 23

Buffy shivered as she watched the two men that moved like watchers head toward the room she had just exited. She could feel someting different about them. It felt watchery, not strong and comforting like Giles, Wesley, or Merrick but still similar. They moved with swift strides, confident and secure in their mission. She bit back a growl and continued to peruse the clip board. No need to go all in just yet, she smiled as they burst out through the door, their façade cracked wide.

They were alarmed. She bit back a grin. Faith was safe.

Spike came and leaned face out against the counter, his illusory femininity in place. God, she was starting to think in Giles' speak. She grinned and stretched out her senses. She smelled a familiar scent of Darjeeling tea. Did they force feed them the stuff at Council headquarters? She grinned at Spike and tapped his nose with a finger. He nodded.

"Want to do a little hunting, Pet?" He whispered.

"I really do, but what are we supposed to do with them? They're human. I can't slay them."

"Can't partake of the fruits of my labor, but I can still enjoy the snapping of a chicken's neck." Spike smiled and even through the illusion she could see his eyes sparkling with anticipatory glee.

"We can't kill them. That's something I won't do." She covered one of his hands with her own. The chill of his skin made her fingers tingle. "We have to send them packing. Any ideas?"

"There's some demon venoms that'll make 'em crazy until their tweedy friends find the antidote. I can get some. Would be easier to kill the fools, a good sight kinder as well." He turned his hand over under hers.

"Slayers aren't kind. Get the stuff and find me. I'll track the bastards." She looked at him in his pretty girl garb and squeezed his hand lightly. "Be safe."

"Ethan'll stay put with the girl. Safest place for him." He held her hand tightly for a moment. "Don't let some sleazy human kill you, Pet. You're meant for greater glory."

Buffy nodded and moved off following the scent trail easily. The fools were standing in the parking lot by a plain, dark blue sedan. How cliche was that?

She stuffed her jacket behind some bushes and moved silently toward them using the cars as cover until she could hear them.

"We need to get a room. This job is going to be a nightmare now." The taller of the two men said.

"The monitor's all showed her as being there, but she could have been gone for some time. She was working with dark forces. They probably helped her escape." The other man's accent wasn't English.

"We were supposed to be in and out with none the wiser, Gregor."

"Do be quiet, Nigel. This is a setback, nothing more."

"A setback on the hell mouth? There's another active rogue here and Rupert Giles stayed with her. This could get very sticky. He's smart and he knows how we operate."

"We are not here for his slayer. This spare slayer was almost killed by his. We have nothing to worry us here. We have to find her, do our job, and go home. There will be a new slayer to train."

Buffy smiled. She loved overconfident opponents. They made life easy for a girl, always revealing all their evil plans. Faith wasn't a spare slayer. She was trouble, but she belonged. She had been one of them, and maybe could be again. These bastards didn't get to press restart any time they wanted.

"We'll need a place in town."

Nigel the whiner seemed to have come to terms with their situation.

"There was a motor lodge not too far from here."

Practical and decisive, Gregor reminded her of a less human Giles, a much less human Giles. She couldn't imagine the hell a slayer in his care would experience.

The two men got into their boring mobile and headed out, carefully adhering to all the posted speed limits. Buffy clambered up a nearby building, the downspout of the gutter all the ladder she needed. Roof to roof, she followed them, coming to a halt when the glowing sign of the cheapest motel in town came into view. The car slid into a slot in the parking lot. She dropped into a crouch and watched as the slighter of the two men went inside the office and came out a few minutes later with a room key.

The slap of feet on the roof behind her made her smile. Spike was certainly quick on the draw tonight. She turned her head toward him.

"This should do the trick." Spike was splattered with a thick dark blue substance. It glistened in the bright light os the flashing vacancy sign. He handed her a hypodermic of bright aqua fluid.

"Did you have to roll in the sewers or something for it?" She wrinkled her nose at the horrible odor coming off him.

"Had to kill the thing, didn't I? Couldn't beg it to let me plunge the needle in it's venom sac, could I?" He snarled playfully at her.

"Couldn't you have washed off in the sewers? You would have smelled better." Buffy waved her hand between them to ward off the smell of demon viscera emanating from the vampire.

"Look, I got the stuff. Leave off with the teasing." He glared at her. "I don't smell that bad."

"Yeah, you do." Buffy smiled at the disgruntled vampire. "But I don't mind. We need to get into that room and deal with this problem."

"Not like that place has turn down service, and I won't be able to set foot in the room without an invite." Spike stared down at the motel.

"I don't want to fight two watchers at once, but we don't have a choice." Buffy started to move, but Spike grabbed her arm.

"Give us a moment, Pet. I've got a plan." Spike grinned at her.

"Your plans don't work, Spike. No offense, but I mean time after time you're the coyote." Buffy stopped as one scarred eyebrow raised.

"I've lasted well over a century. My plans usually work just fine. Everything turns disastrous around you." Spike's intent stare wigged her.

"So, what's the plan, oh bleached and diabolical one?" Buffy grinned as his eyes flashed golden.

"They're on the first floor. We need to go into the room above them and flood it. They'll come out when the water starts running down the walls or let maintenance in." His lips curved gleefully.

"And the property damage will be a huge problem. We need another option." Buffy stared at the door and wished she could call Giles.

"Knock on the door and ask if they're looking for a bit of company." Spike waggled a brow at her.

"Why would they want company?" Buffy stared at the vampire, and he just stared at her. "You know, it sucks when I feel really blonde."

"You need to knock on the door and act the trollop. It shouldn't be too difficult for you, Pet. Just lick your lips and think of England."

Buffy examined the roofline as the reality of what he was suggesting set in. She should have punched him square in the nose, but it might work. They needed the men to open the door. Just enough that she could toss one to Spike.

"Fine. We'll try it." Buffy shrugged and scampered for the edge of the roof. She was half way to the ground before she felt the rush of air as Spike jumped to the ground. He grabbed her waist and helped her to the ground.

"What? No snarky comment about my slow moving ways?" Buffy asked as she smoothed her shirt.

"You're wise to mind the little things with the babes," he said and examined the toes of his boots. "You have enough risks to take."

"You're evil, but you're not all bad, Spike." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Take that back, Slayer." Spike wheedled as they crossed the street.

"Live with it, Vampire." Buffy winked at him as she came to a halt in front of the door. She knocked on the door as he blended into the shadows down the walkway from her.

Gregor opened the door and leaned back examining her. His eyes were arctic and Buffy fought the urge to shiver.

"Do you want some company, Big Guy?" Buffy coked her hip and tossed her hair.

"Not from you, Slayer." His amusement was clear until she grabbed his shirt and tossed him over her shoulder like a rag doll. Spike was on him even as she stepped into the room to find the other annoying watcher. This was going to be easy.

"Stop there, Miss." The shorter slayer held a gun pointed in her direction. "You aren't part of our mission, but I doubt Travers would mind too terribly if I killed you off."

"You want to kill a slayer?" Buffy asked as she took in his confident stance.

"No, but we do what we must for the good of mankind." His clipped accent reminded her of Wesley.

"You came here to hurt Faith." She looked him straight in the eyes and caught the slight flinch at her sister slayer's name. "She's mine. You can't have her."

"Reports state that you have attempted to kill her yourself. Why do you care what happens to her?"

"I needed an ally. The Council wouldn't help. I did what I had to do. It would have broken me to do it. I'm glad I failed." Buffy took a step toward him. "So, I can't let you do it. She's under my protection, just like every other one of you."

His soft brown eyes widened as she stepped closer again. She smiled and tried to soothe him by raising her hands up, palms toward him.

"You're a rogue as well." His voice wavered as she continued her slow approach.

"I have my watcher and I do my job. It's the Council that's one rogue." His mouth opened to reply, but no sound escaped as she spun and kicked his head. The awful melon like sound of their clash made her shudder.

"Spike, get in here. I invite you in." She called out. She dropped to her knees, checking the slighter watcher's pulse.

"He's fine, Pet. Heart's nice and steady." He pulled her up to her feet. "Go home, Slayer. I'll do the rest and drop them some place safe to await rescue."

She nodded and handed him the syringe. His cold hand on her face brought her eyes to his.

"They came to kill her, but you might be next. Don't waste time with guilt. You have enough to worry over, yeah?" Spike looked at her with his steady blue gaze. "There will be more of these, and better trained. Fret over that."


	24. Chapter 24

Angel smiled as his small group of loyal followers fought against the young soldiers. It wasn't fair. They had so enjoyed proving themselves on monster after monster, but demon blood just didn't have that zing. They had been ordered to return to their cells, five humans had been sent in the first wave. Their bodies were cast seaside, empty vessels.

"It's been days, Maggie, my love," he smirked up at the drawn face of the woman that had thought to bring him low. "Your toy soldiers aren't going to hold out forever. Care to discuss terms?"

"You want to surrender?" She called down.

He gripped the thigh of one of the corpses and ripped out the bone. He licked the blood from his fingers and grinned up at her. This was too sweet. She thought he might surrender. Humans could be so very stupid.

"I'm willing to consider your surrender, Maggie." He smirked and broke the bone in half. He heard the offended gasps of the few humans she still swallowed on the observation deck. He waved at the tall blonde and his equally stupid friends. It was always good to acknowledge an appreciative audience.

"Send us in, Ma'am." The Teutonic boy asked, but Maggie denied him with a quick shake of her head. Her eyes never looked away as Angel continued to clean his hands with his tongue.

"Oh, please, Boyo. You wouldn't stand a chance. It's one thing to take a few fledglings, but real vampires require a bit more than what fills your trousers." Angel smiled and looked around his carnage filled arena. "I could use another trophy, though."

"Why not a partnership instead of a surrender?" His dear Maggie sounded panicked. The scent of her fear drifted down to him. It was so sweet. He leaned back against the wall and pretended to consider this option. He looked her up and down. She held no appeal for him. He needed his women to be lovely, no point in staring at a hag for all eternity. She might do for one of the minions. His eyes flicked to his little crew. Dumb and strong, the blonde bitch had certainly had a type. They were expendable.

A powerful family was important in a vampiric existence. Spike would be about ready to muster his newly fledged little clan. He closed his eyes and hummed. Drusilla would be here soon. He could sense her, could all but feel the soothing touch of her cool hand on his furrowed brow. He closed his eyes and imagined a new family rising to be a scourge. Spike and Drusilla would manage their troops. Buffy would remain his human pet, a collar and leash keeping her at his side. He could turn Willow, she'd be the loveliest of his get. He let his mind wander in his bright future. It was wonderful. He hummed as joy infused him with a new purpose.

"A partnership? What kind of partnership, Maggie?" He smiled up at her and put a hand to his chest. "You don't have indecent designs on my person do you, my dear?"

"Of course not," she snapped at him. He smiled blandly in the face of her irritation.

"Beyond that need, are you?" He cocked his head and studied her. "Killed a bunch of nuns once, a very long time ago. The old abbess thought she was beyond it, but I made her scream out in joy to her god before I sent her off to meet him. That was a sweet night. Or is it just that you prefer women? The mannish clothes, the cut of your hair, I thought it was about holding authority over all these boys, but is it something else? Don't worry, I won't tell."

He watched her flush with indignation and bit back laughter. He loved using stereotypes to stymie humans. Vampires knew appearance was a shell, but humans trusted in it. It made them far easier to feed from. He watched her try to put herself back together. It was a shame that she wasn't more appealing. It would make it that much harder for her to adjust to her life as a minion.

He turned his attention back toward his little flock. They had grasped the concepts of fighting as a team with ease. The small entrance kept her from sending a large force in after them. He supposed she could send them over the railing, but they would be vulnerable as they came down. She was not ready to push that hard.

"What do you want, Maggie?" Angel moved toward the center of the room and held his arms out. "Do you want us on our knees? Well, those of us who have knees. Keeping us for study is risky. I'm not the worst demon you could have picked up."

"I think the real question here is what do you want?" Maggie's angry voice carried through the room. "What do you need?"

A sudden image of Buffy flashed through his head, her hair glowing golden in the sun as she laughed, a hand resting on her huge pregnant belly. He bit back a growl. She was his and some brat was growing in her belly. He would enjoy teaching Buffy obedience. He looked up at the harridan holding court above him and shrugged. It wouldn't do to give this woman any space in his head.

"I'm happy enough for now." He shrugged. He smiled as he heard the boys ripped apart a body behind him. The more gruesome the better. The blonde beefcake rammed his fist into a wall and looked to his bitch of a leader.

"Let us handle this." The boy was adorable in his indignation. Angel looked at Maggie hoping she would send this one in. Spike would need someone to beat on for a bit and this bit of all American would be ideal.

"Take your teams out on patrol," Maggie ordered and Angel smiled.

"Do you want to be alone with me, Maggie, my girl?" A familiar laugh sounded in a nearby room and his smile stretched wide. He looked at Maggie and cocked is head. "You wanted to study me because I was different. I'm going to enjoy letting you discover how different I can be."

"Daddy, have you been naughty?" Drusilla smiled down at him as she dropped a body over the railing.

"Yes, my princess," he said softly. She was stunning. Her long, dark hair flowed like liquid as she moved, his invincible princess returned to his side once more. She looked at Maggie and quirked a brow.

"Should I kill her?" She asked. "I should like to hurt her very much."

"No, Baby." He jumped up to the deck and smiled at his beloved daughter. "I have other plans for her right now. What have you been doing while I was busy?"

"I had to play with his gooey antlers for a bit, but he told me how to become like you, Daddy." She slid her body next to his enticingly and he stared down into her soul.


	25. Chapter 25

Buffy glared at Ethan as he shook his head. It was a simple enough spell, but it wasn't working for her. Charming a charm bracelet just sounded like a bad idea, but it had to work because bulky tops weren't going to cut it. She was in her second trimester now and her body seemed to be changing every day. She couldn't spend the holidays avoiding Giles and all their friends. They were all complaining about her disappearing acts. Ethan tapped the table in front of her, drawing her back to the matter at hand.

"It's about concentration, Buffy. You use magic innately. It is a part of you. This is just a simple matter of making the effort to apply those skills." There were times when he sounded so much like Giles. She rolled her eyes and looked at the charm bracelet in her hand. It had been a gift from her mother, and it felt right to use it to protect her own children.

"Why can't you do it for me?" She looked at Ethan and pouted, but it had no effect on him. "You managed to make me that lab coat, and it worked."

"That worked for a limited time under certain constraints. This has to be powered from within you or it won't work in even the slightest sense." There was a flash of irritation in his eyes.

"Will it hurt the babies?" She rested her hand the her expanded waist. She had to do so many things that could harm them. Slaying and pregnancy were not mixy things.

"No. It will not hurt your bloody babies." He looked at her with full blown irritation. "Do the damn spell now."

She whispered the weird sounding words and moved her hand from charm to charm as instructed. Nothing happened. She growled, and started the spell over. She felt a buzz as the charms slid through her fingers. The room's lights flickered and she closed her eyes and continued the spell until she felt something click into place.

"Did it work?" Buffy opened one eye and looked around the room as if she expected it to have exploded. Ethan rolled his eyes. It was good that the young woman was beautiful and strong.

"No harm was done to my stock. He swung his arm out as if displaying the boxes in his back room. Put it on and we will see if it worked." He crossed his arms on his chest and watched as she fumbled with the clasp. This was his punishment. Tutoring a magic hater was a hell all its own. He closed his eyes and counted. How did Ripper tolerate her? She was lovely and sweet. Her power was undeniable, but the bumbling speech and acute naïveté had come as something of a shock.

"It's on. Is it working?" She looked like her normally svelte self. He smiled as she spun on her tip toes. "Do I feel skinny?"

"Must I feel you?" He curled his lip in distaste. She was beautiful, but he found he could no longer indulge in his fantasies of her. She was the mother of his best mate's children. He looked away and dropped a hand to her flat feeling stomach."You did well. Remember to do that every morning or the illusions might fail."

"I get it. I really do. I was hoping he would be in control by now. It would be nice to be able to tell him and let him have the option of being a Dad." Buffy stared at the floor. "The longer this drags on the harder it gets. He's going to be so mad at me."

Ethan watched her as she fought off tears. It was getting harder to hate her. She was dignified and kind. Most girls in their first year at university wouldn't be able to handle a pregnancy, but she balanced that with saving the world one tiny bit at a time. He could appreciate Ripper's preference for serving her.

"He needs to use more magic. Perhaps I could find a way to encourage him." Ethan smiled at her. "Then you could tell him about this joyous cause for self flagellation."

He gestured to her stomach and watched her eyes as the guilt plagued her. He couldn't let her get comfortable with this or she might tell him the truth. Guilt was his best weapon, and Buffy was wired or it.

"I'm not expecting anything from him. He had no choice and I won't try to foist fatherhood on him if he doesn't want it. I will find a way to handle it all myself." She looked at him with her chin jutting forward. "I have to go see Spike. He can tell me how the charms for scent and sound are working. Did you get that weed stuff he likes?"

Ethan handed her the buba weed and looked into her eyes for a moment. The pain in her gaze twisted like a knife in his gut. He had done this to her, and it seemed a greater violation than tattooing Eyghon's symbol on her had been.

"Enjoy the holiday, Buffy." He smiled and she pulled out a small package.

"I almost forgot. I found this at that little market by the park and knew you'd love it. Happy Thanksgiving, Ethan." She smiled as he looked at the oolong tea. "Maybe next year you can join us for dinner."

She was out the door in a flash, and he let his own guilt off the leash. Ripper would make him pay for this, but he would take his lumps gladly when this was done. He opened a drawer and pulled out a picture of Ripper, Phillip, Deirdre, and Randall. It had been taken in happier times. He ran his finger over their young faces and closed his eyes as pain flowed through him. His true family, gone but for Ripper, and he couldn't do more than fight this final battle.


	26. Chapter 26

For three days she had filled his kitchen with food, bag after endless bag of it. Last night she had camped on his couch, so she could get an early start cooking the meal. He grimaced as she checked on the turkey yet again. He had thought having her here would be a good idea, but resonance aside, there was something wrong with his slayer. She was distracted and far too fixated on the coming meal. He watched her as she rubbed her lower back for the twelfth time in an hour. He examined her as she moved about, shifting the three types of pie to his counter to cool.

"Why on earth do we need three types of pie, Buffy? There will only be five of us at the table."

"It's Thanksgiving, Giles. It's our, I mean my first Thanksgiving kind of. Besides, Xander loves pie." She looked up at him as she shoved some vegetable casserole into the oven with the turkey. "Can you just deal?"

"Deal with what precisely? The over abundance of food in my home or the attacking Indian spirit?" He watched her hands twist in the kitchen towel.

"Native American, Giles. You'll drive Willow round the bend if you keep calling him that." Buffy smiled at him.

"It doesn't bother you?" He smiled as Buffy came out of the kitchen and stared up at him for a moment. The world seemed to hum as he reached out and grabbed her fingers.

"I think it's cute." She stroked her hand over his chest. He saw her blush and step back. "You had crumbs. Stop eating my dinner rolls."

He let her back away and wandered back to the books. She could concern herself with the cooking, but he had to find the answers. He hoped there would be some way to appease the spirit and relieve his slayer of the guilt she felt in doing her duty. Willow's adamant defense of the vengeance spirit had left them all in difficult straits. There were times when seeing the grays that existed in their world was a curse. Buffy needed peace. Her frenetic devotion to their meal was proof of that.

His eyes drifted toward the kitchen as she hummed and puttered about. If he was the patriarch of their little unit, then she was the matriarch. He forced his eyes away from her as his mind took him to places best left alone.

"They should be back by now. Everything is ready. I told them one hour." Buffy walked toward the front door. "I'm gonna take a look and see if they're close by."

She stepped out into the courtyard and took a deep breath of the fresh air. Giles watched as she bent to smell the flowers and he stood and walked to the doorway. She was beyond beautiful.

When the arrow flew by and imbedded itself in the wall he felt a moment of panic. He scanned the area, spotting the natives positioned around the courtyard. They stood with bows at the ready. He saw the one draw back his bowstring and train his stone tipped arrow on Buffy.

Buffy had no way to fight against arrow wielding spirits. She moved faster than his eyes could track, avoiding each shaft as it whizzed past her.

Fear held him hostage. He stood unmoving as the volley of arrows rained down on her. Rage filled him. She wouldn't die like this. He flung his magic out and the arrows fell uselessly to the ground. He held off volley after volley. His magic surged.

Buffy gasped, her motion slowing and fell to her knees. She dropped forward and supported her body on one hand.

His world ceased, each breath an agony. He looked for the bloom of blood on her.

Their bond flared within him, firey and strong, as she grabbed his power and flung it at the one stalking toward her. He managed to stay on his feet by leaning against the door frame. She rose in a fluid movement and he felt her gathering power from the flowers and from him.

Awe held him silent as she shielded them from their attackers. How? His mind whirled.

"I'm sorry that your people were hurt." Her voice rang out in the courtyard. "It doesn't have to be this way. Things are different now."

"You fight me still." The spirit pushed through the sheild and rushed her. She used his speed to toss him for distance. His knife flew free and skittered across the ground. She grabbed it.

"I just want to have a nice dinner with my family, but you have to go all murdery and vengeance making." She stalked toward him as the other spirits tried to break through the shield she had erected. Giles slid down the door frame and watched as she stabbed the spirit with his own knife. He collapsed and she moved away, dropping the knife. "I'm sorry."

Green mist swirled around and suddenly a bear roared and lunged at Buffy.

"Now you're a bear." Buffy backed away from the towering black figure as it swiped at her with its giant paw. "Why are you a bear? That's cheating."

Buffy was looking for the weapon. He could feel the magic she had worked falter. The knife was too far from her.

Giles used every last bit of his power to levitate the damn knife and drive it into the bear. The world faded away, lost he fell straight onto his walk.

The sounds of china being set on the table woke him and he looked up to see Buffy's smile. He looked at her sitting there as the others set the table. It had to be driving her crazy, but she had stayed with him. He looked at her bandaged arm and raised a brow.

"Bear claw, but you're not perfect either mister. You fought the walk and the walk won." She touched his forehead gently. Her lips pursed and he enjoyed her suppressed mirth. "We still make a pretty good team."

"Yes, we do." He said, finding the soft expression on her face entirely too enrapturing.

"Dinner's ready. Is the patriarch?" She smiled shyly.

"I am." Answers would wait. They needed to celebrate the victory of survival. He clasped her proffered hand and managed to stand and walk to the table without ever letting it go.

"I hope you all like the meal." Buffy said as he settled into his seat and relinquished her hand.

"I don't see why you had to kill him," Willow whined.

"I tried talking to him, but he was created for one purpose and he wanted to fulfill it." Buffy said softly.

"You should have tried harder." Willow crossed her arms over her chest. "You know how awful it was for the Chumash."

"Should she have let him remove her ear and slit her throat?" Giles asked. "Would that have gained him justice?"

"No, but the answer always seems to be killing. Doesn't that bother you?" Willow looked around the table with wide unhappy eyes.

"There isn't much negotiating in the demon world." Anya shrugged.

"I'm just happy the syphilis is clearing up." Xander said without looking up from his plate.

"I didn't hunt him down, Willow. He came after me." Buffy sighed and put her fork down. "I'm sorry he wouldn't stop and listen. I didn't want to kill him."

Giles watched as Willow's jaw firmed. She was just warming to her topic. He closed his eyes, and prayed for restraint.

"When you didn't want to kill Angelus, you managed to avoid it, and poor Miss Calendar died." Willow said. The words hung in the air for a moment as everyone froze. Buffy was up and out the door before he could figure out what to say. His gaze narrowed as the door slammed and Willow crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

"She has saved you all time and again, and this is how you thank her, Willow. You attack her at her own table." Giles stood and shoved his chair back. "This meal meant something to her. It was special. Did you consider her feelings for one moment?"

"Did she consider mine? She knew I didn't want to celebrate this holiday." Willow glared at him.

"Is fighting a part of this ritual sacrifice?" Anya asked as she watched them with interest.

"It always was in my house." Xander replied as he scooped a huge portion of the casserole on to his plate.

"You chose to attend, Willow. Perhaps you should have declined since you find this holiday so distasteful." Giles glared at her unrepentant face.

"But then I would have been alone." Willow looked down at her plate.

Giles tossed his napkin on the table and stood. Buffy had fled her feast. He fought the urge to kick the others out. It would make no difference. Buffy deserved to have this little bit of comfort, but there would be no catching her. He looked out into the night and hoped she would return.


	27. Chapter 27

Buffy ran until her legs gave out. Her knees hit the soft green carpet and she bent over with her arms wrapped tight around her stomach. Each breath was torture. She punched the ground with all her strength and had to wrench it free of the turf. The hot rush of tears accompanied a bitter realization. She sobbed. Giles would never love her. She had cost him everything. Jenny was gone. She'd even denied him his revenge. Her ex lover had tortured him. She had lied to him and tortured him with Angel because of her need to assuage her own guilt. She hadn't been honest with him about so many things. He had to resent her on a basic level. Their relationship was like the library. She swallowed and looked at the burned and broken remains of the old high school through bleary eyes.

She stood on unsteady legs and tried to remember it as it had been. Tears blurred her vision as she stepped forward.

Halfway to the library, the flow of tears stopped. The past was gone. The babies needed her to make good choices now. She looked around the burned out husk of her old school. She had spent most of her time here running away, literally and figuratively. English Lit was paying off after all. She looked at the small circular space where glass had once graced the ruined door that was propped next to the entrance to her lost haven. She had to see it again. She continued on.

She trailed her fingers along the charred remains of the wall It had been so easy to pretend in this place, to ignore the truth of him. Her watcher had been safely stored in his little cubby. Her desires had been so easy to dismiss back then. She had so carefully ignored him, making sure to avoid most thoughts of him as a man. She looked over toward his office and let scenarios play through her mind. All the what ifs and in another lifes meant nothing. In this world, she wasn't standing alone. Her eyes welled up again as her hands traced circles on the fabric over her belly. She couldn't avoid reality.

The running had to stop. Slayers didn't last. Her babies were going to need the people she would be leaving them with. Hopefully, their grandmother and their honorary aunts and uncles would care for them even if Giles chose not to act as their father. A bitter chuckle broke from her throat. She closed her eyes and tilted her head toward the ceiling, fighting off another raft of tears. He wouldn't ignore the babies. She knew him so well. Her children would be cared for as a responsibility at the very least. She took a deep breath. Cold and unwelcome realities had to be acknowledged.

It was time to grow up. She had to find a job that would allow enough flexibility for school and slaying. There were going to be some big expenses, and she had to find a way to do as much on her own as possible. Some hard decisions would have to be made soon. School was going to be a casualty sooner rather than later. Finishing the year would be difficult, but she couldn't quit until Giles knew about the spell and its precious side effects.

"I'm gonna have to get to know Olivia." Saying it out loud didn't make it any better, but Olivia might wind up being in the babies lives in a major way. Buffy grimaced and looked around the library, trying to recapture the easy peace it used to provide. Another woman would raise her babies. More tears burned tracks down her cheeks. He would pick a strong woman and love her. She looked around the room in desperation. There was no comfort to be found, no peace. It had been the man, not the place.

Leaving the past behind, she headed back to Giles' apartment slowly. Picking her way out of the ruins, the needs of the moment occupied her thoughts. There would be the cleaning to do and the apologizing.

The walk back was far too short, a blur of green misery. Buffy stood in the courtyard and stared at the flowers. They looked none the worse for wear. She took a deep breath and started for the door only to find it opening and Giles waiting. He didn't look angry. She took several deep breaths as their gazes locked.

Giles opened his arms and she ran to him. It was too much to resist. He gathered her close and pulled her inside. They didn't speak. There was no need. The tingle of magic moved through her and she heard the door close behind them. None of it mattered.

"I'm sorry I ran off, Giles. It's a bad habit. I wish they made a patch for it or maybe a gum." She pushed back from his chest and looked up into his dark green eyes. He stroked her bare shoulders with his fingers and she shivered.

"You did nothing wrong. Willow was acting out. She seems to be rather erratic since Oz left. Are you hungry?" His easy ability to excuse her poor behavior warmed her. He was always the one to forgive. She needed to give him fewer reasons to do it.

"I could eat." She smiled and stepped back from him. "Did the guys leave you here alone?"

"I am a grown man and I am accustomed to it." He said the words with no anger, but guilt bloomed as she realized the truth of his words.

"I'm sorry I've been missing in action, Giles."

"Avoiding me as if I've been brought low with plague." He smiled gently as they moved into the kitchen, making light of the accusation in his words.

"I really am sorry." She looked at the two plates, piled with food, waiting on the stove top. "You waited for me."

"It seemed the patriarchal thing to do. I believe the food is still warm. Let's eat on the patio. It is certainly warm enough. Would you care for a glass of wine?" She looked at him and shook her head.

"I think I'll stick with cranberry juice, festive and not illegal." She picked up their plates while he gathered their drinks and cutlery. She watched as he grabbed napkins as well. He managed the wine glasses, the juice, the wine, and the various silverware with ease, but the napkins wound up on the floor. She giggled, walked out onto the patio, and went perfectly still as the candlelight flickered over the decorated table.

"I hope you don't mind. I wanted your special meal to be, well, special." He said as he joined her.

"You did this for me?" She looked at him as she put the plates down. He nodded and set his cargo on the table.

"You went to such effort. I couldn't see it go to waste." He held out her chair and she slid into the seat. "We need to talk, Buffy."

It felt like he had poured cold water down her spine. Of course this lovely gesture would come with a catch. She blinked to hold off tears.

"I suppose this is a nice way to do it." Buffy said as she examined her plate.

"Oh bloody hell, I've put my foot in it." He knelt next to her chair and she looked down into his eyes. "This is a special night. I wanted you to have it. Any conversation can wait."

"Just sit down in your chair. We should probably make some attempt at talking. It can't hurt. I haven't been attentive girl lately." She smiled as he squeezed her fingers and moved to his seat.

"What have you been lately?" His eyes sparkled in the candle light.

"I've been busy, stubborn, and not so nice. You put up with so much. Thanks." Her face flamed. She looked at him sitting across from her and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from babbling.

"The meal looks delicious, Buffy." He smiled and took a bite of the food.

"Thanks." She looked down at her plate and felt guilt building inside. "Can we set aside all this weird first datey stuff and really talk?"

He looked at her for the longest time. She wanted to melt away to avoid his gaze. There was an intensity to him as he stared at her.

"Not that this is a date," she said. "I know that."

"Buffy," he sighed. "I know you are keeping things from me. The resonance isn't waning. You used my magic tonight. We shared power. It's not the first time is it? This is more than resonance and that makes it exponentially more dangerous."

He wasn't yelling or giving her his disappointed face, but she knew deep inside her that this quiet determination was far more dangerous.

"I've kept a whole bunch of stuff from you over the years. I know some of it hurt you pretty bad, but this is kinda different. We've got this weird mojo going on, and I know it's freaksome. I know all of that, Giles, but I need you to trust me. I need you to let me handle this in my own way. I'll tell you everything once I get it all straightened out." She looked across at him, knowing her sorrow showed and not caring.

He watched her for a long while, and she had to fight not to fill the quiet. He knew her so well. She took a bite of the food and glanced at the flowers. She wanted to touch them, to let their silken petals slide between her fingers. Giles coughed and she turned back to him with a shy smile.

"I will trust you if you tell me one truth every time we see each other. I need to know we are moving toward something. Can you understand?" He looked so vulnerable as he waited for her to respond.

"I can do that." Buffy nodded solemnly. "But how are you going to know I'm telling the truth?"

Giles eyes crinkled at the sides as he sipped his wine. She knew he was amused. Of course, he would know if she lied. He knew every part of her. She blushed and dropped her eyes to the table.

"Shall we test my abilities?" His voice had changed. She looked up at him and saw his wry smile. He was throwing down the gauntlet as surely as he did when they fenced. She felt something fierce inside her respond.

"Let's shall." She smiled and pushed back from the table accepting his proffered hand. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand and she felt heat coil inside her body and an ache begin low in her belly. She shivered as he led her next to the fragrant flower bed, turning so they faced each other he brought their joined hands to gently cup a flower.

"Tell me a lie," He breathed the word as the resonance played between them. She shook her head.

"I don't want to," she said and felt a sudden sense of relief. She couldn't pull her eyes away from his. His breathing deepened and she felt a warmth flowing between them. She closed her eyes to savor the moment.

"I know you don't want to lie to me, Buffy, but we need to test this." Buffy opened her eyes and looked up at him, considering her options. There was something more at play here, but she wasn't sure how to deal with it. She bit her lip.

"Fine, my name is Betty." She shivered as the warmth evaporated and Giles pulled her closer with his free hand.

"Tell me a truth." He was far too close for her peace of mind. She gulped and stared at his sweater lad chest. "Tell me the first thing that crosses your mind."

"I want you to kiss me." The words flew out of her mouth and she started to shake. She had been unable to lie, unable to avoid complying with his demand. The warmth swirled inside her even as she desperately wished the earth would open beneath her and swallow her whole.

He let go of the flower and cupped her face with both hands. She fought the urge to run and let him lift her face. His thumb traced her lower lip and she trembled. The moment stretched between them, neither of them moved.

Giles suddenly dropped his lips to hers and she gasped as their lips met. The warmth of his breath invaded her and his arms gathered her closer. Her heart beat double time as his hands slid along her curves. His lips were so soft as they played along hers. She surrendered herself to the moment. Regrets could come later, for now she was his.


	28. Chapter 28

Giles felt Buffy surrender. Her body molded itself against his. Enticing curves, delicate beauty, and immense strength were all laid bare to him. She was his. He reveled in her. each whimper, each slide of her tongue was his victory. Her hands slid under his sweater and he fought the urge to make her his in every way on the cold rough ground. She wanted him as a man. The truth of it was singing through him.

He enjoyed the play of her fingers along his back. They moved unerringly along his skin, drawing delighted shivers from deep within him. There was nothing tentative and unknowing in her touch.

He drew back from her embrace and looked down into her flushed face. Her lips were parted, swollen, and glistening. Her eyes searched his face and he gave into the urge to kiss her again. Lifting her in his arms, he smiled as she moaned against his lips. Her legs wrapped around him, pure strength cradling him gently. She took control of the kiss. Bold and demanding, her hands buried in his hair, she plundered his mouth. The welcome slide of her tongue on his claimed him.

He was hers as she was his. No doubt flared in him as he enjoyed her fierce exploration. A groan escaped him as the clash of teeth and tongue softened. Her lips slid from his mouth, and she nibbled along his jaw. The pressure of her perfect teeth sent his thoughts reeling. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trembling in his arms, her breath hot against his ear.

She shifted in his arms and pulled back to look into his face. Her stormy eyes played across his features and she brought her delicate thumb to play along his lower lip. He could sense the turmoil and the joy within her.

"Giles, we need to stop. I really hate saying this. You have no idea how much I want you to take me upstairs and make me forget the world for a little while, but we can't. You have Olivia and I have stuff to straighten out." She stroked his face gently and dropped one chaste kiss on his lips. "If you are free and still want this when I get everything sorted, we can try again."

He knew he could force the issue and knew he shouldn't. She was his world. He considered ignoring her words and the tumult he knew would come, but there was something fragile in her gaze.

"Olivia is an old friend, Buffy. Nothing more." He kissed her chin, loathe to let her down and surrender the magic of holding her in his arms.

"You aren't casual about things, Giles. Olivia may be an old friend, but you took her to bed." She pushed against his chest gently. He could hear the anger and pain in her voice.

"I can be casual. I was once and still can be at times. Believe me. I've made her no promises." She was shaking her head before his words were finished.

"You haven't made me any either." Her hand landed gently across his mouth as it opened. "Don't. I want them, but I'm not ready."

It was the tears that stopped him. Her lovely face, flushed from their passionate encounter, crumbled. He carried her back to the table and settled them into a chair, draping her carefully across his lap.

"Tell me, Buffy. I know you have something plaguing you. We can handle it together, whatever it may be." She curled against him and shook her head.

"I can't." She mumbled against his chest. He felt the urge to bend her to his will rise. It would present no difficulty. She was his. He knew it, knew that she would give over to him if he pushed.

"Buffy, there is nothing you can say that would alter the way I feel about you." He kissed her temple and heard the hitch in her breath as his lips pressed against her warm flesh.

"Don't, Giles. I don't want you making promises to me." She pushed away from him and stood, ripping her warmth away. She was building a barrier between them, one denial at a time. He felt the cold rage of Ripper stir inside him. How dare she deny them? He closed his eyes, the sight of her pulled at him.

"You don't want me making promises. My life was given to you before you were born." He shoved the chair back and stood, ignoring the clatter of the damn thing as it toppled. "I've been yours, your creature to use and abuse. How easy for you to say you want no promises from me, to deny me a voice. You relegate me to my little place in your world, but all that I am is my oath to you, my promises to you."

"I didn't ask for those promises anymore than I asked to be the damn slayer." Her hands on her hips, she glared at him.

"Oh yes, let the constant refrain of your life pour forth." He sneered. "Fate hasn't been kind. There is no sodding Prince Charming riding to your rescue."

"Stop it." She stamped her foot and tossed her hair, glorious in her tear stained anger.

"Look at me and tell me not to make promises again." He grabbed her arms, careful not to hurt her, even in his rage. "Deny me."

"Let me go, Giles." Her voice broke as she said his name. "Please, don't do this."

"What is it you want me to stop, Buffy? Stop being a man? Stop being a friend? Stop being yours? I bloody well can't, despite the pain." He felt her shudder. He looked down into her red eyes and was lost. He pulled her tight and kissed her with desperation. Their lips fused and she surrendered to him with a sob. The flavor of her tears hit his tongue and he gathered her close. She clutched at him, her fingers bruising him as she responded in kind. He broke from her lips to press tender kisses to her eyes, her cheeks, the tip of her nose.

"Stop." She pleaded and looked up into his eyes. "I can't do this. I won't come to you without the truth."

"Then tell me." He slid his hand around to the small of her back and pulled her tight to his body.

"You said one truth each time I see you. I can do that. I'm not ready for more." She dropped her forehead against his chest. Her tears wet his shirt. Despite the wrenching pain, he stepped back from her.

She looked small and broken as she stood before him. He grabbed her hand and took her to the flowers. He closed his eyes and cupped a blossom in their hands.

"I told you a truth today." Buffy stared down at the flower.

"I have one to share as well." He watched as her eyes returned to his, wary and exhausted.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Don't come here unless you can give me the whole truth. If you need me as a watcher, I'll be here, but for all else, stay away." He closed his eyes and released her hand. "Turns out I can't live with scraps from your table anymore."

He heard her quick intake of breath, knew her pain, but he refused to open his eyes. She pulled her hand free of his. It chilled him, the loss of her. Pain radiated through him. Hers, his, there was no discerning the difference, just a cold evisceration of the soul. The slide of his patio door opening and closing echoed around him. He opened his eyes and gazed out into the bleak night alone with a dead flower in his hand.


	29. Chapter 29

Giles surrendered. His need to see her, to reassure himself, could no longer be ignored. Three days and he had lost his resolve. Three endless, sleepless nights filled with images of his slayer in his bed had all but driven him mad. He stood and stared at the dormitory door, struggling with his personal demons. She would never tell him the truth, never respect him, but it didn't matter. He had to see her. He knocked on the door and waited.

Willow opened the door and stared up at him. He could see the signs of another teary night on her face. He had hoped to find Buffy alone, but luck was not with him. Really, when had it ever been?

"Hi, Giles." She stepped back and let him into the room. He could see the remnants of a casting on the floor. "I was just cleaning up."

"You've been doing magic?" He looked at the spell remnants and wondered if this was the thing Buffy was concealing from him. "Is Buffy aware of this?"

"She would have to sleep here once and a while to know anything. I'm supposed to be all tucked away in another room for safety, but she isn't here. She's been off, slaying and doing the cool college girl thing. She took beer away from me last night. Like she's Miss Know It All. She just doesn't get it." Willow glared at the empty bed on the far side of the room.

"She has been rather distracted lately. The jump to University can be quite difficult for some." He took off his his glasses as he considered the implications of the unused bed.

"Yep, there you go making excuses for her royal slayiness. I'm her best friend and she doesn't tell me anything. Oz left, and she doesn't even have time to get ice cream and watch movies. Is that really so hard? To spend time with your friends?" Willow shoved her candles into a box and shoved the lot under her bed.

"Willow, are you quite sure you should be attempting spells on your own?" He put his glasses back on and took in her mulish expression.

"What? You don't think I'm good enough to do a simple spell. I'm supposed to wait for you to have time to supervise me. I'm supposed to wait for Buffy to have time for me. I'm back burner Willow." The red head looked up at him with a petulant expression.

"I am sorry for your pain, Willow. Believe me. I just worry about your attempting spells when you are emotionally distraught." He smiled gently at her, hoping to calm her.

"It didn't work. It was just a simple spell to have my will be done so I wouldn't have to hurt anymore, but it went kablooey." Willow looked up at him. Her sad eyes looking for something, some answer he apparently didn't have.

"Give it time, Willow. Magic and grief are not a good combination. If you take your time and go through the emotions, I am sure you will adjust to these changes." Giles smiled gently, trying to reassure her. Shaking her senseless didn't seem quite the thing though it held a certain appeal. "You can only wait out the pain. I'm sorry."

"Everything is about waiting. I have to wait for my cheating, werewolf ex to come back. I have to wait for my best friend to have time for me. I have to wait for the pain to go away. None of you get it. I can't wait. Oz was everything to me. Now he's gone, and none of you get it. You don't see it." Willow glared at him and her eyes caught the light in the room oddly. "You don't see anything."

A shiver ran down his spine. The rage inside of the girl would dissipate in time, but they would all need to pay more attention to her and help her through this. He looked over at Buffy's bed and determined to speak with her about her responsibilities as soon as he could find her.

* * *

It had been three days since she had so much as smiled. Ethan glared at the back of her golden head as she sat curled into the one chair in the other slayer's room. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. Her emotions, her damnable, open hearted kindness drove him mad. It was impossible to hate her, and he loathed her for it, for making him feel anything beyond amusement at the twists and turns chaos was providing.

He couldn't even complain about her dedication or her sense of responsibility. Whatever he required of her she did, always thinking of her Giles being free. She was getting rather good at wards and protections. Her glamours were top notch. Better than his own, truth be told. It wasn't as if she needed to become a sorceress or a witch. She just needed to be able to burn off the extra magic her body was absorbing.

Janus, why wouldn't Ripper emerge? The magic should be drawing him to the surface. He narrowed his eyes considering his options. Perhaps he could push things along.

He watched as Buffy stood, the outline of her rounded body displayed by the light coming through the uncovered window. She would need maternity clothes soon. The elastic waists of her bottoms were nearing their limits. Shame hit him hard as he considered the sacrifices she was making for his old mate. She nodded at him and plucked her bag from the foot of the bed.

"I have to get to class." She tilted her head and held out her bracelet. "Could you put it on me?"

He snapped the jewelry onto her wrist and watched her return to her thin looking frame. It didn't change the sadness lurking in her eyes. He looked away from her. Guilt was his constant companion. He didn't need to feed it.

"Have a good day, Buffy. I will be at the store if you need me."

"I know. Thanks for meeting me here. I know it isn't the best practice space. I just worry about her being unprotected at night. These rooms aren't secure." She rubbed her arms and shivered. It had been days since she had slept in a proper bed, days since she had slept most likely. Ethan considered her as she fussed with Faith's blankets and murmured to her fallen sister.

"You should try to get some proper rest. This can't be good for you or the babies, my dear girl." He flinched as she turned to him with an agonized expression.

"I don't have a choice. I won't leave her vulnerable and Spike's handling patrols." She grabbed up the newspaper from the bedside table and squinted at it for a moment before looking around the room through narrowed eyes. "They need to change the lightbulbs. This place is gloomy enough."

* * *

Giles rubbed the back of his neck as he opened his front door. He had wasted a day searching for Buffy. She wasn't sleeping in her dormitory. Her mother's house stood empty. He had even ventured into the mansion, despite his loathing of the place. There was no trace of her. He rubbed his face with his hand. An entire day's endeavor for naught.

He was exhausted and wanted a drink. He moved toward the kitchen to grab a glass when he heard a sob and turned toward his couch. Buffy was there, curled in a fetal position. She looked as shattered as he felt.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?" He moved closer, looking for any sign of injury.

"I know you said I couldn't come here unless I needed a watcher, but I think I might." She sat up and looked past him. He shook his head. After everything, she would not give him even the decency of meeting his gaze. He took a deep breath, preparing to ask her to leave. "I can't see, Giles. I'm blind."


	30. Chapter 30

He watched as Buffy stood. He could see the panic on her face. Feel it, truly, as the reality hit him. His slayer, his love, was blind. She inched forward with her arms outstretched, reaching for him.

"Giles, are you okay? Please talk to me. Make a sound. Something." The desperation in her voice broke through his shock.

"I'm here, Buffy." He stepped forward and took her reaching hands in his own. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his sweater, the relief apparent on her face as telling as the fear had been moments before.

"I was on my way to my first class when I realized something was wrong. I can't be blind, Giles. I didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry." She pushed back and looked up. Her gaze focused over his left shoulder. It was disconcerting. "I know you said I shouldn't come here..."

He stopped the flow of words with one finger pressed against her lips. He couldn't listen to her apology. The very thought of her out there, robbed of a vital sense, chilled him To his core.

"You did the right thing, Buffy. You're safe here." He pulled her back against him, closing his eyes and letting her scent wash over him. "How did it happen?"

"It came on gradually. I thought it was just because I was so tired. Then things went from fuzzy to shadowy." She grimaced. "I came here and the door was unlocked. By the time I was inside there was nothing but darkness. I inched my way along the wall until I had to just trust my memory of the room. I made it to the couch. I bruised myself on the coffee table, but I made it. I didn't break anything."

"As if I would mind, Buffy." He stroked her back.

"It seemed like I was here, alone, forever." She clung to him.

"I imagine so," he murmured against her hair. Part of his mind started assembling a list of questions to aide in his research, but the larger part of him couldn't let her go.

"I know you need to research, Giles, but could you hold my hand while you do it?" The odd synchronicity of their thoughts brought a curve to his lips.

"You may find yourself rather hard pressed to be rid of me. Just the thought of you out there, blind, terrifies me." He stroked his fingers through her hair again.

"We need to figure out how to fix it. I mean super fast. I won't be able to hide this and the vamps will descend on Sunnydale." She bit her lower lip. "Plus we have the commandos, and you just know there will be some crazy demon wanting to devour us whole popping up any day now. I know you've had me fight blindfolded, but I don't think I can do it full time. Do they make seeing eye hell hounds?"

He shuddered at the thought of her out in the night without her sight. He swallowed. He knew she would go, knew she would do her duty no matter the fear, the danger. She would fight him if the situation became dire enough. He fought the urge to rub his jaw. It had taken weeks to stop hurting after she had knocked him silly on her way to face the master.

"Giles, I really don't like the quiet." She rubbed her fingers on his chest. "It makes the darkness seem darker. Ya know?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy. Would you like me to put on some music?" He stroked her hair as she shook her head.

"No, I just want to hear your voice. I've been alone for a long time. Music doesn't make me feel less alone. I was so worried." She bit her lip as she looked up and reached awkwardly for his face. "I was terrified something had happened to you."

"I was searching for you." He pulled her gently back to the couch and gathered her in his arms as he sat. "I could not leave things as they were between us."

"I was gonna come begging after classes. I hate it when we fight." She stroked her hand along his arm, raising goosebumps on his skin despite the heavy sweater he was wearing.

"It is not my favorite endeavor," he said quietly. "We need to research, Buffy. Can you help me construct a timeline? It might help to narrow down possible causes."

"When should I start? I mean should I start from when I noticed a problem or do you need the last few days?" She bit her lip and he could sense her hesitation. Even facing this terror, she was intent on hiding things from him. He took several deep breaths. It wouldn't do to renew their battle.

"Let's start with the first indication that something was wrong and work from there." He stroked her back again. "I have to go grab a pad and paper. I'll be right back."

She slid off his lap and nodded her head, but her trepidation was easy to perceive. He tamped down the urge to demand her complete honesty. Now was not the time.

"Things started to get fuzzy when I got to campus this morning, but I thought it was just being tired." Her fingers curled in the hem of her shirt. She was concealing something. He felt a moment of anger, but shoved it down. The truth mattered now.

"I went to your dorm room. Willow told me you haven't been sleeping there." He took a deep breath, trying to force the pain of it down. "Where have you been spending the nights?"

"Oh, Willow told you." Her hands twisted her shirt until the fabric gave, the ripping sound filling the space between them. "She isn't supposed to be in the room. Those commandos could come back. Damn it."

"Yes, we can deal with Willow's sleeping arrangements when your eyesight is restored. I need to know where you have been sleeping." Giles sat next to her, but left space between them.

"I've been staying at the hospital. Faith needs me." Buffy looked toward him her gaze unfocused. Her fears plain on her face. "Take me out to the flowers. Test it."

His eyes went to the browned remnants of the last bloom they had used in such a fashion. He had placed it, brittle and dry, in the bookcase. It had been part of them somehow and he had killed it. He had hurt them both by demanding more of her than she was ready to give. He reached out and held her hand. She visibly relaxed.

"You've been staying with Faith." He knew it was true. It was too absurd to be a lie.

"Yeah, since the honing thing. I wound up in her mind when I ran away from you." She looked down and he could see the blush riding her cheeks. "She's trapped in a giant slayer dream. I haven't been able to get back in, but I saw the threat. I know it's real."

* * *

"None of you will listen to me." Willow glared at Xander.

"We should all get together and talk about this." He said as he watched his best friend pace through his basement abode. "Buffy and Giles don't mean to ignore you. They're just kind of busy saving the world."

"They should just go on and get busy." Her eyes flashed as she smirked. "The world is so much more important than me."

* * *

Giles studied Buffy as he rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand. He was hesitant to push her for more details when she was being forthcoming. She scooted closer to him and patted her free hand along the couch. She reached out as she turned and her hand came down on him. She went still. Her warm fingers resting over the growing denim clad bulge.

His breath caught. Her fingers curved a bit, testing his shape. He managed to break free of the paralysis and grab her wrist.

"I didn't know." Buffy bit her lower lip. "I didn't know where my hand was going to land. I'm sorry."

"Sorry because you did it accidentally or sorry because you aren't happy with what you found?" Where had that come from? How had those words left his mouth?

"Sorry for a lot of things, but mostly because I can't see you blush." She moved closer and he let the pad and pen drop as he pulled her against him. She appeared startled for a moment, but he raised his hips slightly and her head tipped back exposing the delicate column of her throat to his lips. She rocked against him.

He trailed kisses down her neck and chest, growling when her shirt got in the way. He grabbed the already abused hem and ripped it up until it hung uselessly off her shoulders. The black lace of her bra was no barrier as he trailed his thumbs over her nipples.

"You are the most beautiful being in the universe." He shuddered as she shifted and opened her unseeing eyes.

"Take me to bed, Giles." Her words were all the encouragement he needed. She stood, shaking, and dropped the remnants of her shirt to the floor. He rose to his feet and plucked her from the ground. She kissed his shoulder. The warm press of her mouth driving him higher with each step.

He stopped at the side of his bed, unwilling to let her go. She wiggled about in his arms.

"I can't get my clothes off like this." Her voice set him to action again. He set her on her feet and smiled as she yanked at the drawstring on her pants.

"Let me, Love." He trailed his fingers along her body.

"I wish I could see you." Buffy stroked his sweater. He yanked the bulky thing off and tossed it over the loft railing.

"The blind see with their fingers." He said with a husky chuckle. She nuzzled into his chest.

"Well, I'd better get to seeing then." Her hands moved on his bare flesh. He delighted in the glide of her fingers.

"Tell me a truth, Buffy."

"I want you. I need you over me and in me." Her voice mesmerized him. The yearning it laid bare echoing his own.

He smiled as he sat on the bed and pulled her to stand between his legs. Tracing the delicate floral design of the lace covering her breast with his tongue, he untied her pants and slid them and the scraps of lace masquerading as an undergarment from her hips to pool at her feet. She put her hands on his bare shoulders and stepped closer. His mouth closed over one nipple through the lace.

"God, that feels good." She purred as he continued to torment her through the lace. He slid his arms around her and undid the clasp. Pulling back, he let the bra fall and looked at her naked but for her cross and charm bracelet. She was everything to him.

She leaned against his shoulders and pushed him to the bed, following him down. Her hungry lips on his. He smiled and rolled them. She sprawled in the middle of his bed, her blind eyes still seeking him.

He stroked her body slowly with one hand while the other did away with the last of his clothing. She whimpered and pulled at his hand as he slid his body next to hers on the bed.

"I'm going to make you mine, Buffy." He bit her earlobe gently.

"I am yours, my body, my strength. I am completely yours." Her words played through his mind as he stroked down her body to bury his fingers in her heat. There was something entirely familiar about those words, but her body was screaming in an entirely different way. He focused on the matter at hand. There would be time to think much, much later. He kissed her as she came apart, gasping and screaming his name.

"You, my love, are a treasure." He kissed her and drew his fingers from her despite her mewling protest. He licked his fingers and kissed her with her own flavor on his tongue. She buried her hand in his hair and rolled them so that she was astride him. She slid back, trailing kisses. The slide of her heated skin against his was ecstasy in and of itself. Her body froze above him as she reached her goal. He looked up at her, her eyes closed as she began rubbing her womanhood along him. He grabbed her hips, changed the angle, and slid into her welcoming body.

She rose and fell over him, tossing her hair back and moaning as he rolled his hips. He was entranced. She reached behind to his thighs and raked her nails on them. He gasped and bucked up into her. A grin played across her lips and she did it again.

He brought his thighs up and pushed her forward. She groaned as he wrapped his hand round her neck and drew her in for another kiss.

He felt her start to quake as he continued to thrust up into her.

"It's okay, Love. I have you." Her body tightened around him, stilling his movements.

"I am completely yours. I love you." She pushed up on his chest and ground down on him. He shuddered and followed her over into bliss. "I love you, Giles."

She drifted to sleep as he stroked her back. He smiled, content, his world as it should be.


	31. Chapter 31

Giles traced the runes that decorated his lover's back. He closed his eyes in joy. Buffy was his lover, his. The woman he loved, slept, sated, in his bed. He kissed each symbol, noting the color that seemed to shift through the symbols like quicksilver. At first glance they appeared to be purely silver, but each symbol also held a color. This was no ordinary tattoo. He trailed his finger along her spine watching each symbol shift as he touched it. The colors corresponded to those of the chakras common in the eastern traditions, but the runes did not.

"This must be one of your secrets." He said to her sleeping form. He kissed her shoulder gently. It wouldn't do to turn this into a confrontation. Their first time together shouldn't be marred with an argument. He trailed his fingers through her hair, reveling in her trust.

Blinded, she was so vulnerable, yet she slept undisturbed beside him. He looked at the symbols again and wondered if they were linked to her loss of sight in some way.

The sudden bang of his door opening and slamming against the wall ended his quiet contemplation and Buffy's slumber. She was up and fumbling in her darkness, preparing for attack.

"Giles, fuck, we have a problem." Xander's voice filled the air. Giles squeezed Buffy's hand, reassuringly.

"I'll handle this. You rest." He kissed her gently, thrilling as she responded.

"Hurry back, Watcher Mine." Her hesitant fingers landed on his shoulder, and she smiled as her fingers slid on his bare skin.

"I think his orgasm friend is here, Xander." Anya said. "Give him a moment."

"What are you talking about, Anya? There are demons." Xander's voice was close. Giles forced himself to move. It wouldn't do to be discovered like this.

"Yes,yes, the demons keep coming and coming." Anya waved her hand dismissively, tossed the scraps of the black shirt on the table, and sat on the couch. Giles looked down from the top stair, smiled, and shook his head. Nothing stood a chance of denting his good mood, now. "Giles might not enjoy being interrupted if he is."

"Sorry, G Man." Xander stared up at him and blushed.

"Then restrain yourself from using that ridiculous name." Giles moved down the stairs and smiled as he saw his sweater draped over a lamp. This was, without a doubt, the best night of his life. He forced his normal, concerned expression to the fore. Sooner begun, sooner done as Nanny had always said. "Now, what is the problem that brings you to my door in the middle of the night?"

"Demons, they keep coming and coming. Didn't I just say that?" Anya looked up from one of his archaeological journals. She held up the article he'd been reading. "They have this all wrong, you know?"

"I don't see any demons now. Perhaps they have ceased coming, and," Giles cleared his throat with a meaningful cough. "Coming."

"Look outside," Xander said as he paced the room looking through every window like a nervous cat.

"They can't get past the guardian flowers." Anya smiled. "I told you this was where we needed to be."

"You know about the flowers?" Giles stared at the ex demon. He hadn't really considered her as a source of information, but she had existed for more than a millennia. He felt a tad bit foolish as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I felt them when we came here at Thanksgiving. My skin tingles unpleasantly around them. It isn't common magic anymore, but why do you think humans plant flower gardens? They saw that some gifted individuals were protected by their flowers. Really, it was a case of monkey see, monkey do." Anya shook her head. "What did you sacrifice? Is that rude to ask, Xander?"

"Sacrifice?" Xander squeaked the word out as his worried, brown eyes shot toward Giles.

"Usually," Anya nodded. "To get flowers that strong. I mean there are magics that could bring them into being without the blood, but you'd need to have such an odd combination of things. It's not like he had to kill the sacrifice. You just need a little blood."

"Perhaps we should concern ourselves with the demons." Giles said, hoping to drive the pair away from the topic of his flowers. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, an odd combination indeed. He would have to start researching his lovely flora in earnest.

They heard a crashing sound from outside, and Giles moved to look through the window. He watched as a variety of demons engaged in some sort melee. His gut clenched as another bestial roar echoed through the courtyard.

Giles turned back to the room, and caught sight of Buffy. She was sliding her hand along the railing as she made her way slowly down the stairs. Her hair was in disarray, her lips swollen from his kisses, and a smile graced her face. The shirt she had borrowed from his closet covered most of her pants and was buttoned incorrectly. She was gorgeous.

"Buffy, what?" Xander looked at her in shock. His head flipped toward Giles, his mouth hanging open.

"I thought your friend from England was your orgasm friend." Anya frowned and looked over at Giles with narrowed eyes.

"Buffy, Giles, orgasm, no." Xander said.

"Well, at least he's almost formed a sentence." Buffy smiled as she stared off into the distance. Giles rushed to her and helped her to the couch. "Wow, seeing eye watcher."

"If that's what you need, Buffy." He shied away from declaring his love for her. They lacked for privacy, and Anya's suddenly fascinated stare unnerved him.

"Well, I kinda need my shoes. I took them off while I was waiting for you and lost them." She swallowed and he stroked her cheek.

"Buffy was upstairs. Orgasms, Giles." Xander said as he stared at the loft.

"Yes, Buffy gave Giles orgasms." Anya said. "I hope he returned the favor."

"Oh yeah," Buffy smiled and Giles felt his heart leap.

"Giles returned the orgasms," Xander said as he collapsed in a chair.

"He's all caught up," Anya announced with a smile. "Now, why is Buffy covered with the same magical residue as Xander? You have traces of it, too. Did Willow do this to you, too? I mean the blindness, not the orgasms."

"Blindness? No one is blind, Anya." Xander said before Giles could respond to the ex demon's queries.

"I'm kinda blind, Xander." Buffy said quietly.

"You're blind? Since when?" Xander's panicked voice rang through the room.

"She's blind, not deaf." Anya said with a glare. "Willow has done some spell and now we're surrounded by demons with a blind slayer. From an evil standpoint, this is creative genius."

"Willow didn't do this to me. She just said I was a demon magnet. That isn't a spell. It doesn't rhyme and it isn't in some creepy language only crazy old people speak." Xander rolled his eyes and glared at his girlfriend. "Willow wouldn't hurt me like..."

"Why did Xander stop talking?" Buffy swung her head around, hoping for some answer.

"She did this. Willow did all of this." Xander jumped out of his chair. "She said I was a demon magnet, and Buffy and Giles should get busy."

"She didn't make me blind, Xander." Buffy glared in his general direction. "And she didn't make me get busy with Giles."

"Yes, she did." Xander yelled. "It's the only way this all makes sense."

Giles had gone still as he slid Buffy's second shoe on. Panic seized him. This was a result of magic gone awry? Of course it was. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, resting his forehead against Buffy's knee.

"Your an idiot, Xander. I haven't seen Willow in days." Buffy said, indignation and fire in her voice. "This isn't some spell."

"Yes, it is. She told me she did a will be done spell. I should have listened." Giles tied Buffy's shoe and stood. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I should have listened."

"What should you have listened to, Giles? She didn't make me blind and she didn't make me sleep with you." Buffy's voice was so strong and sure. He reached out and stroked some of her wild hair back into place.

"She told me I didn't see anything, Buffy. Somehow the spell affected you." He touched her face gently. "I'm so sorry."

"If it's just some spell, why do I still want you?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy, please stop." Giles dropped his hand from her face and stepped away from her. He watched as her face hardened.

The phone rang, but no one moved to answer it. The answering machine clicked on and an all too familiar voice echoed through the room.

"Can't believe you're out and about at this hour, Ripper, love. I'll be there in two days, early. I can't wait." The machine clicked off taking Olivia's voice, but not her words.

"I guess you'll need to change the sheets then," Buffy said and held up her hand. "I get it. It's just a spell."

"I'm so sorry, Buffy." Giles watched as his lover stood and closed her eyes. It broke him to see her suffering so.

"It's just a spell, Giles. Not your spell. I guess Willow did give me orgasms." Buffy bit her lip and wiped at her face. "I'm a big girl. I can handle this."

"Buffy."

"Shut up, Giles. Please." Her voice broke on the last word and he fought the urge to rush to her side. "I have some work to do."

"Buffy," Xander looked at her in horror. "You're blind."

"There's no get out of demon killing free card, Xander. I'm still the slayer." She turned and walked around the couch, keeping contact with it the whole time. "I've trained for this."

"No, Buffy. You can't." Giles took three steps toward her.

"We can't wait for help to arrive. We need Willow to remove her stupid spells. She's out there somewhere, so I get to kick a whole lotta demon ass. We trained for this. I can handle it. Get me a couple short swords, Xander. Giles, don't make me hurt you."

Giles stood in mute agony as Xander rushed to get the weapons. His lover was gone and his mission stood before him determined and strong. He watched as she weighed the weapons Xander had selected, taking in their balance, and turned toward the door.


	32. Chapter 32

Buffy let the fear of darkness go. There was nothing to fear in the dark. It wasn't foreign. It was a part of her. She pressed her agony down deep and reached out with her other senses. She could feel Xander next to her, the pulsing beat of his anxiety played along her nerves. She reached out further and found Anya, cool collected, her power was dispersed, not completely absent. Giles shifted and her perfect darkness bloomed. It was like laying out on a sunny day, eyes closed but always knowing the location of the sun. The heat of Giles magic flared and she could feel him. He would stop her if she didn't move now.

"Buffy, please don't do this." Giles voice pulled at her.

"Do you want your girlfriend to arrive here and find that welcome wagon? I can feel them. Not all of those demons go pop in the sun." Buffy shrugged. "I'm our best chance. Sometimes every option just sucks."

"Buffy," Xander whispered. "Maybe there's another way."

"Keep him safe, Xander. Don't let him follow me out there. The guilt is eating him alive. He's sure to do something stupid." Buffy shifted on the balls of her feet. "Could you get me to the door?"

The catch of his breath as he pressed his hand to her back told her the cost of her request, but Xander never let her down, not when it counted. Three steps, five deep breaths, taking in the scent of tea that always permeated this place, one solitary tear burning on her cheek, and Buffy was on her own.

The battle raged just steps from her. She could hear the various growls of the demons in front of her, some recognizable, some so generic they faded into the background. She moved forward smoothly, trusting in the ground to be where she needed it to be. Her senses flared and she could feel the action. Each demon was unique, a glowing power of its own. Malevolence came in lots of flavors, like Baskin Robbins.

"Hello, Beautiful. Come out to play, have you?" Spike's voice carried above the noise. Her mouth stretched in a feral grin. She wasn't fighting alone.

"I'm blinded by all the evil. What's a girl to do?" She answered hoping he would catch the truth behind her flippant tone.

"Let me be your guide then. That ugly blue monster just on your left is a common slime demon. A quick skewering will leave you with nothing but goo." Spike called out. "The one two strides beyond him to your left is only three foot tall, but his bite is poisonous. He'll be nothing more than an inconvenient bit of earth if you can take his head."

Buffy focused on Spike's tour as she used all her available senses to fight. The brush of air as she evaded the swipe of a clawed hand sent her in low, the warm splash of rancid liquid her reward. She heard the scratch of scales behind her and spun, crossing her blades and bisecting a reptilian demon. Spike's voice occasionally offering what her eyes could not provide, she moved in large arcs to avoid tripping over the bodies she was leaving in her wake. Between her instincts and Spike's knowledge the numbers of unfriendly demons began to diminish.

She could hear Xander and Giles screaming, but refused to focus on their words. There was no time for the personal in this battle. Xander was earning a trip to the ice cream shop for this one.

"Even blind, you are the most remarkable fighter. Love watching you, Pet." Spike remarked as they spiraled closer to each other.

"The blindness is really helpful when it comes to you, Spike." She grinned as she slid her blades deep into the belly of the demon in front of her. "I don't have to go through the instant pain caused by your fashion sense."

"On your left, Pet. Go high." Spike called. Buffy stumbled as she pulled her left blade free and threw it at her unseen assailant.

Her vision cleared suddenly. She shook her head to dispel the disorientation and looked up to see a seven foot tall giant of a demon trying to pull her blade free of his chest.

"Giants? We have giants now?" She looked at Spike and he smiled as he ripped the head from something green with horns.

"Toss it into the fountain, Pet. Then we can move on to the main event." He winked at her as she shoved the giant into the fountain and watched it begin to dissolve, foaming like a sitcom dishwasher. The wink puzzled her for a moment, but then she realized the others had seen them both fighting.

"Slayer," Spike snarled as the others burst from inside the apartment brandishing crossbows. He winked again, clearly enjoying the act. "I'll catch your act later."

"Not if I find you first." Buffy rolled her eyes as Xander fumbled his crossbow and Spike dodged the bolt with ease. "I have faith."

"Ta, Pet." He nodded. She knew he would be at the hospital later, watching over Faith.

Buffy turned back to her friends and felt the pain swamp her. Stumbling up the walk, she hugged Xander. His left eye was rapidly swelling. She took several shallow breaths, trying to calm the adrenalin rush, her eyes moving over Anya and Willow to focus on her watcher. She sighed in relief. He was unharmed. His favorite sword gleamed at his side. She swallowed, taking in his stiff posture. Giles watched her with such sorrow in his eyes. She looked away, too tired to decipher his thoughts from such scant information.

"You almost had him, Xander." She ruffled his hair and looked him straight in the eyes. Oh yeah, that one was blackened. Giles hadn't been messing around."Thanks."

Anya looked at Buffy and moved with sudden speed to hug her. Buffy patted her awkwardly and then gave in and returned the fierce hug.

"I'm sorry I don't have my powers, Buffy. I can't do anything to help you, but if you want to talk, I am good at listening." The whispered words brought tears to Buffy's eyes. "At least, I think I am."

"Thanks, Anya. I'm glad Xander has you. Get him home. He'll need to get some ice on that shiner."

"It will also keep him from making awkward comments about what happened here tonight." Anya shrugged at Buffy's surprised expression. "I am learning."

Buffy turned to watch the two entwine their fingers and head off into the night. That's what love looked like, what it was supposed to be. She dropped her eyes to the ground, ignoring Willow's frantic apologies.

She had held it in her hands tonight, or at least the illusion of it. She could feel Giles standing back. She looked over at Willow and gave in to her pain.

"Did you get your kicks, Will?" Buffy turned and gestured to the remains that littered the courtyard. "Xander could have died."

"I'll do anything, Buffy. I'm so sorry." Willow's eyes were brimming with tears, but Buffy couldn't handle it.

"I'm moving out, Willow. I can't trust you. I'm sorry, but this was so beyond the beyond, ya know?" Buffy looked at Willow and let her pain show. Putting on a brave face just wouldn't cut it, not this time.

"Can't you forgive me?" Willow sounded so forlorn.

"This isn't about that. I can forgive you. I just can't live with you, not right now." Buffy stepped away from Willow's grasping arms. "I'm not really feeling the urge to get all touchy feely. Go inside for a minute. I need to talk with Giles before I walk you home."

Buffy watched Willow run into the apartment and rubbed her hand over her face. The first time had been hard. This was excruciating. She looked up at Giles, and saw her pain mirrored in his eyes.

"Buffy, there are no words to express how sorry I am." He reached toward her, but she stepped back.

"Yet you keep spewing them out." Buffy held up her hand to stop his next torrent of agonizing guilt. "Stop, okay? Just stop."

She watched as Giles struggled to comply with her request. She stepped closer and stroked his upper arm, trying to comfort him.

"I am so sorry. I took advantage of you." Giles said and Buffy glared.

"I don't want you to apologize. It makes this all so much worse." Buffy let her hand drop from his arm.

"I'm sorry." His quiet words pulled at her.

"God, just stop it. We can pretend it didn't happen. It was just a spell." Buffy wrapped her arms around her body and looked up at the twinkling stars. "Like the band candy thing with Mom. We'll just put it aside."

"Can you do that, Buffy?" Giles sounded devastated. Buffy dropped her gaze to the ground. Heaven or hell there wasn't much choice. This night had been both for her.

"I have to, and so do you. Olivia is coming. I'll walk Willow home and come back to help with this mess." Buffy waved a hand at the demonic corpses and other remains.

"There's no need." Giles muttered something odd and waved his hand. Buffy felt a wave of nausea and trembled, fighting to keep her balance. She didn't need to look to know the courtyard would be completely restored.

"Handy." She glanced at the glowing warmth coming from his windows. "I'd better get Willow home before she decides to do another spell to make us all better."


	33. Chapter 33

Willow watched as Buffy stuffed her clothes haphazardly into a duffle bag. This was so unfair. They all made mistakes. She wasn't the only one. Willow flinched as Buffy shoved her desk stuff into a box with a single swipe of her arm. It clattered around in the box. It was sure to break. Willow winced as Buffy wiped another tear away with her sodden sleeve. This wasn't right. She had fixed it. She had undone the spell. Why couldn't Buffy just get over it?

"You don't have to take everything tonight." Willow flinched as Buffy looked at her through red, swollen eyes.

"Yeah, I do. If I leave stuff it will be too easy to let it slide, too easy to just hang on to our friendship and forget the dangers. I love you, Will, but you have a serious problem. You were trying to hurt Oz and Veruca that night in the lab. I know you were, don't deny it. Then you go and try to will away your pain. I hope yours is less because I'm pretty sure Giles is hurting as bad as I am now." Buffy glared at her. "If Xander had died, you would be slayable now. Did you think of that? You could have killed Xander and made me kill you. Is that what you want to be? Evil? You've got a good start. Right now, you're just a rapist. Next time, who knows?"

"A rapist? Have you lost your mind? Buffy?" Willow moved toward her and Buffy stepped back.

"You and your magic," Buffy snarled, tossing up a ward with a casual wave of her hand. "Do you know how to do that, little witch?"

Willow slammed into an invisible wall. She backed up and stared, dumbfounded. She pushed her hand against the air and met resistance.

"You can do magic?" Willow looked at Buffy and saw the flash of anger in her friend's eyes.

"Is that all that matters to you? You raped Giles tonight. You forced him. You hurt us both. His girlfriend is going to be here soon, and no matter what, he has to deal with the emotional crap you laid on him." Buffy snarled. "I want to be your friend. I want us to survive this, but you have to really learn what you're doing. You have to think about others."

"The power and responsibility speech, really?" Willow tossed her hands in the air. They all kept yammering on about it. "Can't any of you understand?

"I can understand a lot of things. I love you, Willow. You're my best friend." Buffy slung three duffles over her shoulder and tossed Mr. Gordo on top of the box. His worn piggy face seemed to focus on Willow accusingly. "But if you keep crossing the line, it'll come down to me doing what I do best. I don't want that."

Willow watched as Buffy moved her hand in a quick wave. She could feel the wall dissipate. When had Buffy learned to do that?

"Don't go. Please, Buffy." Willow looked at her and held her hands up. "I'll be good."

"I have to go, but I'll see you in class tomorrow. I just need some space. I know about power and responsibility, Willow. If I didn't, you'd be dead for what you did to Giles."

Willow closed her eyes. This wasn't happening. She opened her eyes. the posters were all that was left. Buffy was gone. She curled up on the bare mattress and sobbed. Everyone left her. They always left her.

* * *

Drusilla considered her Sire as he moved about. This was not the Daddy she had expected. She looked around this place he refused to leave. She hated it. There were no pretty flowers, no soft breezes, and the pixies wailed all the time.

There was dirty, watcher magic on her Daddy. He wasn't right and he wasn't wrong. They'd made him something both and worse. She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. The slayer couldn't help him. This human creature wanted to use him. She closed her eyes and remembered the watcher, his warm lips against hers, his magic so strong and so controlled. She shivered with delight. He could help.

She remembered his blood, the flavor, the strength. He had clarity and devotion. He would never help her or her sire, but he would save his golden sunshine. Drusilla looked at the blood in the cup on the table. It wouldn't scream at her. She shrugged and gulped it down.

The pixies danced about as she hummed. Plans forming and being discarded as she looked for the right moment to act. The future danced with the pixies, teasing her with possibilities. She smiled and danced along.

* * *

Ethan sat up as a loud noise shattered the peace of his slumber. He grabbed his robe and stumbled down the stairs to his shop. Flipping on the light, he encoutered several bags, a trunk, and a box, containing a rather disreputable looking stuffed pig situated by the back door. What new hell would be visited on him now?

"I'm sorry. I don't have anywhere else to keep it. I couldn't get it all to my mom's place tonight." Buffy said as she emerged from the loo.

He took in her ravaged appearance and Ripper's shirt and let go of the urge to yell. This bedraggled creature was not his enemy. He closed his eyes as the realization washed over him. She wasn't his enemy, but she might very well be when this was finished and done. It wouldn't matter. Ripper would have his guts for garters long before she would come hunting. He grimaced as the guilt burned inside him, hot and fresh.

"Is it okay if I leave it here for a little while?" Her voice carried the evidence of a night spent crying and it wrenched him from his silent reverie. She wasn't his enemy.

"Leave it as long as you like." He smiled. "I have a second bedroom, but no extra bed. Would you care for the use of my couch?"

Buffy seemed to blur, and suddenly he was enveloped in her hug. Oh, Janus. Now there was hugging. He stood as she shuddered against him and slowly closed his arms around her.

"It can't be as bad as all that, Buffy. We will get it sorted." He wanted to cringe as the words left his mouth. She shook her head against his chest.

"We can't sort this." Buffy pushed back from him and wrapped her arms around her own body. "I have to get over to the hospital. Spike's with Faith, but he has to leave before it gets light."

"I understand. Just, did he hurt you?" Ethan gestured to the shirt.

"No, Willow hurt us. She hurt us both." Buffy looked at her things. "Kinda why I'm homeless."

"The red haired novice hurt you both?" Ripper would be roaring for blood in no time at all, and it wouldn't be his blood.

"She did some stupid spell and it backfired. I can't be around her. I don't trust her, and I want to hurt her so badly. Giles is suffering. He's hurt and it's my fault." Buffy bit her lip. "I need to figure out how to make an immunity charm. Slayers are too vulnerable to magic."

"An immunity charm," he mused, rubbing his chin. Such a thing could have practical uses. He looked at Buffy with sudden respect. She had keen mind if one actually looked beyond the rather lovely surface. "I might be able to find something along those lines. Run along to Faith before your pet vampire gets stranded and must spend the day in the morgue."

He waved as Buffy headed out into the last dregs of the night. His mind turned to possible uses for seemingly innocuous charms. It was good to get back to the basics.

* * *

Giles sat in his chair and stared at his rumpled sheets. He closed his eyes and imagined her there, still sated, still sleeping, hoping to wake up in a tender embrace. He took another long pull from his bottle of Glenfarclas.

She had survived the nightmare of her first experience. God, he had watched her struggle with it, aching for her the whole time. How would she recover from this? He forced his eyes open and stared at the empty bed. The urge to destroy it burned hot within him, but she had called his name out in passion while tumbling amongst those sheets. Her words of love had been whispered there. How could he destroy those memories? How could he let go all that he would ever have of her? How many swigs would it take to wash this pain away? How many bottles?

The tears wouldn't come, but he imagined hers. She wouldn't even have Willow to hold her through this. He finished the bottle and tossed it over the railing, beyond caring about anything but his dark thoughts.

He looked at his empty hand and considered fetching another bottle. He tried to stand but the whisky was winning this round. He pulled the remnants of her shirt up to his face. The soft cotton slid along his skin and he bit back a curse. It wasn't the touch he needed. It wasn't the silk of her skin. He wrapped the precious treasure around his hand and forced his way up from the chair. He stepped forward and fell to his knees, leaning against the mattress like a child at prayer. The tears came.

* * *

Spike looked up as Buffy slid through the door. The scent of her told him far more than the sight. He had known it was coming, but the shock of her pain hit him again. He opened his arms and she rushed into his embrace. He waited the tears out. Listening to her pained hic ups and stuttering breaths, he imagined eviscerating the bastard. No matter what had transpired how could he have let her leave in this condition?

"Willow did this spell." Buffy leaned against him, her voice barely above a whisper. "It made me blind. It made Xander a demon magnet."

She took several shuddering breaths and started to sob. He murmured soothing nonsense into her ear, the quiet, soothing tone far more important than any words. He thought of his sister's quiet pain and wondered if it would have been better for her if he had been old enough to hold her when her world fell apart time and again.

"Tell me the rest or I'll head over and snap his bloody neck." Spike smiled as her spine stiffened and her fierce scowl reemerged. This was the virago that sparked fear into those that were born to create it.

"He didn't do anything wrong. He's the victim. Willow's damn spell made him take me to bed. I've wanted it again for so long, but he didn't. Not really." Buffy looked up at him and he wanted to rip the bloody watcher's head clean off. "Willow did the spell, but I'm the one that raped him. It was me in that bed with him."

"Sweeting, you didn't rape the man. You two have been dancing around this for a long while. Even if he didn't want you, then it was the spell caster to blame, never you." Gods, couldn't the girl get a damn break. "You're carrying his children, Pet. At least he'll have an idea of how they got there now."

"You're absurd." Buffy giggled through her tears. "You big doofus."

"Well, I am hugging one slayer while guarding another. The other demons have locked me out of the clubhouse. So, I'll just help you and wait around for Godot."

"I may wind up living under a tree. I moved out of the dorm. I can't live with Willow while I want to kill her."

"I don't know, adds some spice. You need to take a day off the illusions, Pet." He released the charm bracelet and smiled as she sighed. "Go to Ethan's, spend the day resting. You need to take some time off."

"I promised I'd meet Willow at class." Buffy shook her head.

"It'll do her good to be disappointed. You need to take care of yourself. Can't be all things to all people when your making the next generation."

"I'll take a day off if you quit being so scary nice." Her sassy reply lacked its usual punch, but he rolled his eyes in reaction to please her. Always humor the pregnant woman. He smiled as she settled into the chair and reached out to hold the other slayer's hand.

"I'll be round Ethan's tomorrow. Be there." He stared at her, his eyes flashing gold to emphasize his point.

"Yes, oh Evil One." Buffy waved him off with a smile. "Get back to your crypt before the sun rises. You always smell funny when you push it."

He stepped out into the hall. He wasn't going to his crypt. She needed to relax. The damn watcher had to be told before the girl broke under the weight of her own expectations. It was time he had a talk with her patron sorcerer. There were things he needed to know, and it was past time for answers. He stalked through the halls with his duster flapping behind him.


	34. Chapter 34

Buffy smiled at Willow as Giles made tea. Xander was droning on about his latest job, trying to explain some accident or misunderstanding that had led to his being fired. Faith sat quietly on the stairs behind them, staring off into the distance. Buffy's eyes and thoughts turned to Giles.

He was smiling as he puttered in his kitchen. She considered his lips. They were so expressive, thinning in exasperation, quirking in amusement, a million ings for all the emotions he so rarely acknowledged.

"Come on, Buffy. Help me out." Xander looked at her with such hope that she nodded and stood where he asked. Willow waggled her head and widened her eyes, happily teasing. Buffy stood and let Xander position her body like a mannequin, rolling her eyes to elicit giggles from Willow and a brief flash of teeth from Giles as he smiled at her antics.

"Giles, I need you to be me." Xander said as he bustled about and dragged her watcher behind her. Suddenly, Giles' warmth was pressed against her back, welcoming and intimate. "See the girl just stopped dead in front of me. There was nothing to grab and she was falling. So, I grabbed her around the waist. Now, I'm unemployed and Anya's mad."

Xander's voice continued on but Buffy couldn't make out the words. Her breath caught as Giles exhaled against her ear.

"You don't need to hear the song to know the music." Giles rocked his hips against her as he whispered the words into the shell of her ear. "You don't need to see to know the beauty."

Buffy took several deep breaths as they swayed gently together. There was no music, they continued moving. They didn't need it. She felt his hand slide down over her rounded stomach. She looked down to find her pregnant body, his hand splayed protectively over their children.

"You don't need words to tell the truth, you just need to speak." He spun her in his arms and kissed her. Buffy closed her eyes, relishing the glide of his tongue against hers. He held her face gently between his hands. He pulled back and looked down at her with such love. She closed her eyes, determined to tell him everything. She opened them and he was gone.

She was in the graveyard with Faith. The moon was high over them, casting its silvery glow on their world.

"I always knew you had a thing for your watcher. Not that I'm blaming you. G is one fine specimen of manliness, but you obviously know that." Faith nodded toward her belly with a flash of a smile. "You're braver than me."

"What's coming, Faith?" Buffy asked as they scanned the space around them.

"I don't know. I catch glimpses of stuff in the trees once in a while, but that's it, B, honest." Faith looked at her warily.

"I believe you." Buffy closed the distance between them and took Faith's hand in hers.

"Thanks for coming to visit. I'm trying to get up to your side of town, Big Sis. Sorry, I can't help." Faith shrugged. A scream echoed through the air and Buffy turned toward the sound. "Go, B. I'll be okay."

"Tell me how you are, really?" Buffy searched Faith's face.

"I'm two by five, but it's a solid two." Faith tilted her head. "Go save the world. I need a place to have a place in."

Buffy squeezed Faith's hand and let go. She took off running toward the scream and was suddenly in a darkened hallway. A young girl was singing somewhere nearby. It sounded like some sort of nursery rhyme. Buffy headed toward the voice, walking empty hall after empty hall.

The voice grew louder and Buffy turned a corner to confront a young blonde girl holding a small box. The girl looked like she had years ago, but Buffy couldn't remember ever knowing this song. She examined the girl. She was tall for her apparent age. Green eyes flashed brightly from the babyish face even in the darkened hall. She heard a footstep behind her and turned to see a decayed face, pale, with an almost metallic grin leering at her.

Buffy woke up and looked around the hospital room. It was a dream. She took several deep breaths, trying to dispel the sense of dread the dream had left her. She leaned her head against the fuzzy blue blanket covering Faith's legs. The nausea would pass soon enough. She grabbed Faith's hand and squeezed it gently.

"I'll get this one, but you better wake up soon. You hear me?" She let go of her sister slayer's hand and headed out the door.

Buffy called Xander from the pay phone in the waiting room. She couldn't walk to Revello Drive with her head aching like this. She knew he would come.

* * *

Giles woke sprawled face down on his bed. He didn't bother trying to move, didn't want to move. The hangover was nothing he didn't deserve. He took a deep breath and her scent enveloped him. Rolling over, he tried to retreat into his mind, but there would be no escaping her. The memory of her soft, knowing touches wold linger, ghosting on his skin. The images of her above him, tossing her head back in ecstasy, would come unbidden. He took another deep breath and gave in.

He raised his hands and let the magic come, waiting for the pain that would hit when he reached his limit. He took a deep breath as the magic flowed easily. He had enough. A flick of his wrists, a bit of concentration, and suddenly she was there as real in his mind as she had been in his arms the night before.

She stroked his chest with one hand while other supported her head. The quick flash of her smile, impish and teasing, brought his body roaring to life. Her eyes were dark with longing as she gazed at him. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. The tip of her tongue traced along the white line of a scar acquired years before in a knife fight on a London street. The scars were fewer on his chest and most of the sensation remained. The tug of her manicured nails on his skin, riding the line between pleasure and pain, excited him further. He groaned and arched up into her touch.

He opened his eyes and felt the moment of disorientation as his inner sight clashed with cold reality. The slide of her tongue on his skin drew him back into the magic. He let his eyes close as the phantom of her silken hair slid across his chest. Reality could just sod off.

* * *

Buffy slid into the passenger seat of Xander's car and grimaced. The smell of rotting food, sweat, and sex was over powering. How did he get Anya to have sex with him in this car? She looked over at Xander. Some questions were meant to go unanswered. She closed her eyes and hoped she wouldn't vomit on the way to her mother's place.

"Are you okay?" Xander looked at her as he shifted the car into drive. She returned his gaze, trying to gauge if this was genuine concern, a fishing expedition, or a little of both.

"I'm the slayer, Xander." She answered evasively.

"Doesn't mean you're okay." He said softly. "Willow said you took all your stuff last night. She seemed pretty upset."

"I'm sorry it hurt her, Xan, but I had to get out of there." Buffy looked out the window at the passing buildings.

"I bet it hurt you, too."

"Yeah, it sucks to be homeless." Buffy swallowed. "And it sucks that I can't be around Willow right now. It's just too messed up."

"Your mom will be thrilled to have you back for a while." He looked at her as they stopped at a red light. She tried to smile. He needed her to be okay.

"I'm not moving back in to Mom's. I need some space and she would so do the hovering, crazy woman thing. I can't face that right now. Besides she's gone 'til after the holidays." Buffy shrugged and met his eyes for a second before looking out the window again.

They rode in companionable silence for a bit. The buildings slid past. It really was a pretty, little town in the daylight.

The car seemed to get cool for a moment and Buffy tensed. The magic crashed into her, sharp and painful. She gasped and leaned her face against the cool glass. Wave after wave hit. What was Giles doing? In a moving car she couldn't do anything. She felt her stomach start to churn, sweat beaded on her skin. This wasn't good for her or the babies.

"Pull over, Xander. I'm gonna be sick."

The car swerved under her, making the bad situation worse. She sprang from the car as soon as it stopped, tripping over the curb and falling to her knees. The hard concrete biting into her skin kept her from passing out. She retched up bile on the sidewalk. There was nothing else in her stomach.

Xander appeared beside her with a plastic canister of wet wipes. His gentle hands, rubbed her back. She looked up into his concerned face, and tried to shake her head.

"Buffy, I don't really know what to say or how to say it. I mean you've had it pretty sucky lately, and I don't know what..." He trailed off and stroked Buffy's hair back. "Willow's always handled this stuff."

"Yeah, but she's never had wet wipes." Buffy sat back, wiping her face with one. "I'm a mess."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Xander cringed.

"I'll spare you the details, Xander. I think I should walk from here. It's only a block." Buffy pushed up to her feet. The unrelenting sunshine only made this whole situation that much worse.

"I'm walking you." He held up his hand to stop her. "Yeah, you're the slayer. I get it, but your my friend and you've had a rough time. Let me do the friend thing or I'll tell Anya."

Buffy looked at him, smiling sadly at her, and laughed.

"Why are all of my friends trying to kill me?" She brushed her shoulder against Xander's shoulder and let him help her the rest of the way.


	35. Chapter 35

Xander stepped into Giles' apartment and looked at it with wide eyes. There were bits of broken glass and empty bottles everywhere. The lamp was broken, the wall scared where it had hit and shattered. It looked like a Harris family reunion had been raging here for weeks. He swallowed as bad memories rushed him. It was one thing to deal with his dad on a bender, but Giles was usually so together. Even when Buffy had run to Los Angeles, Giles held it together. Vampires and demons didn't freak him out. He was always just Giles. Xander spun around looking at the ripped couch cushions and battle ax stuck into the wall over the mantle. This was bad, really bad. Xander rubbed his suddenly sweaty hands on his jeans, glared at the mess, and headed for the stairs.

Giles was spread eagled in the middle of his bed, one hand wrapped in something black. Tears were running down his face. Xander cringed, hating to disturb Giles in the throws of such pain, but he couldn't help Buffy and Willow was still screaming at him every time he called. Drunk, stupid, and angry he could handle. You didn't need super powers or brains for this. He swallowed past the giant lump in his throat. He knew this, knew what to do.

Xander took a deep breath, still hesitating. Buffy was the one that handled Giles when he went crazy, but Buffy had looked wrecked. Worse than he'd ever seen her look. Giles was the one that made Buffy okay. Giles needed to sober up and fix this mess fast. It wasn't fair, but the G Man was gonna have to sort this out because Willow barely acknowledged her part in the fiasco and Buffy was half in the wind. It was watcher to the rescue time for sure.

"Get up, Giles" Xander said loudly, hoping to break through the alcohol induced haze. He just knew he didn't want to wake Giles up by shaking him. "You don't mess with a guy that knows how to kill you in about eight hundred ways. No way, no how."

Giles eyes opened and rolled toward him. His eyes were completely green, the whites were gone. What the fuck?

Giles waved his hand, and Xander found his back pressed hard against the wall. It felt like a truck had slammed into him and wouldn't back up. His eyes watered as he took in the familiar features of his friend and father figure.

"You made her go away." Giles growled. His voice sounded strange, like there were three of him speaking. "She was here and you made her leave."

"I'm sorry, Giles." Xander tried to shift. His lungs were burning. What the hell was holding him in place?

"I know far more than eight hundred ways to kill you, Boy. You should be more worried about how long I can keep you alive."

"Yeah, I'm getting that," Xander gasped out, forcing each word from his body despite the ever increasing pressure. "Is this gonna bring her back?"

"She won't come back. She was never really here, never really mine." Giles swept his hand out and the sheets moved until it looked like a woman was curled sleeping beneath them. Giles dropped to his knees on the bed and began to sob. The pressure eased and Xander took a deep breath. Oxygen, so of the good, who knew?

Each breath felt like heaven. Xander stared at Giles. The man's shoulders shook as he sobbed brokenly. It was painful to watch.

"She's never here, never really here." Giles stroked the sheet like it covered a real woman.

This would be a whole hell of a lot easier if he knew who she was. Maybe Giles had told Olivia about the whole magic fuck up of Willow's and she wasn't coming back. Xander swallowed again. Maybe he was having some sort of flashback to losing Miss. Calendar.

Xander looked at the form under the sheets. It wasn't either of those women. It was too short. He knew those curves. He closed his eyes, trying to wrap his brain around the reality of the situation. Giles was in love with Buffy. The G Man and the Buffster, yeah, they went together like Lego pieces, but he hadn't wanted to know or even think about the interlocking parts.

Giles was losing it. Buffy was puking. Things were not good in the land of the watcher and the slayer. It was time for the gang to get to work and fix things. He was the gang. Cordy was off in L.A., Oz was trying to find himself, and Willow was playing with dark forces like that chemistry set she'd had when they were ten. It was all resting on him.

"You want Buffy here? In this mess you're creating?" Xander sneered, deciding to go for it. "She deserves better than this and so do you."

Giles' shoulders shook as he stroked the invisible thing in his bed with the back of his hand. This was a really disturbing twist on the whole blow up doll thing.

"Do you have any idea how organized Buffy's closet is? How would she handle all the bottles and the glass? Plus, you have that friend from England. Buffy really doesn't share. So, the foreign lady has to go."

The sheets fluttered to the bed, the form beneath them gone.

"Buffy, doesn't want me. I'm old and it's gross. She was particularly clear on that." Giles looked at the empty bed and shook his head slowly.

"Yeah, well, half of what Buffy says has nothing to do with what's going on in her head and even less of it comes from her heart." Xander saw the flash of anger in Giles' eyes and flinched. Pissing off the drunk, heartbroken watcher was so not a good idea. "She looked pretty wrung out when I picked her up at the hospital this morning. She was still wearing your shirt. It's not really her style. I wonder why she would keep it on if she regretted what happened between the two of you."

"Buffy was at the hospital? Was she hurt?" Giles demanded.

"No, she just looked tired." Xander said. "She was probably dragging in another mugged citizen. She did throw up on the way home, but my car smells like rotted feet. I probably should have rolled down the windows. Well, I would if I could. It's a real junker, you know."

Giles swayed on his knees and Xander slid down the wall as the invisible truck backed away, releasing him.

"I'm sorry, Xander." Giles looked at him with normal bloodshot, white having eyes. It was a relief to see him looking fairly normal.

"Nothing's broken." Xander shrugged, but he didn't look at Giles as he stood.

"That isn't a standard to which I want to subscribe. You came here to help me, and I almost killed you." Giles lowered his head. "You deserve better."

"You pushed me back against the wall. No big." Xander shook his head. "You don't need to don sackcloth and brandish a flagellum."

Giles looked at him with raised eyebrows and the G Man's lips quirked as he fought a smile. It was a good sign.

"What? I read it one night when we were researching. Seemed like a long way to go for anything." Xander walked over, offered his hand, and pulled Giles up to his feet.

Giles looked over the railing into the apartment below. He cringed.

"Yeah, Buffy's not gonna be loving destructo watcher. This is gonna get you one of those looks. You know the ones. Her forehead gets that unmoving thing going, and she just stares at you until you want to run. She gives 'em to me all the time." Xander patted Giles gently on the shoulder. "Plus, you have a guest coming here to get some bad news, right?"

"I'm not going to carry on with Olivia any longer. No matter Buffy's feelings for me. I will not be sharing this bed with anyone else." Giles sounded so certain. Xander looked at him from the side of his eyes. This was weird. Buffy and Giles. Giles and Buffy. So weird. "We had better get to cleaning. This is gonna take a while."

Giles closed his eyes and flicked his hands out with a snap of the wrists. Xander stiffened as all the hairs on his body stood on end. Giles brought his hands together with a clap. The flash of light was sudden and Xander flinched, closing his eyes. The scent of ozone filled the air. Xander opened his eyes and looked down at a perfectly clean room.

"Wow, that's a handy trick." He smiled and looked at Giles, seeing the desolation still residing in his eyes.

"Yes, well, I'm afraid that's all I'm good for at the moment." Giles sagged against the railing.

"Too bad, my basement could use a good cleaning. Don't worry, Giles. I'll get the sheets washed and stuff while you take a shower." Xander smiled, trying to take some of the burden from his friend's shoulders.

"No, don't touch the bed. It smells like her." Giles looked at it with such sadness. "I need that."

Xander watched as Giles went down the stairs slowly. This wasn't going to be a quick fix, but they were on their way. He heard the shower turn on.

It was time for Uncle Rory's marvelous hang over cure. Having a family of lushes was finally going to pay off. Yep, drunk and depressed, he could handle that.


	36. Chapter 36

Spike watched the watcher's home from across the courtyard. The annoying boy had left but Giles remained out of his reach. He couldn't get close enough to knock on the door thanks to the bloody flowers. He had heard half of the stilted conversation between the stupid git and Buffy.

"She calls you to talk about a dream with portents of doom and you don't even invite her over to research it in more detail." Spike tossed a rock at the apartment door. "Stupid wanker, our girl needs you."

He closed his eyes and leaned back against the stucco wall. His unlife was officially a cautionary tale now. William the Bloody, slayer of slayers, was now the slayer's pet. He growled. It wasn't some vow holding him here anymore. It was her.

She was vicious and cruel, a brilliant fighter. She was glorious in battle, but the real power of this slayer wasn't what made her supernatural. She was amazing because she was so very human, kind and gentle.

His crypt was as posh as she could make it. She had found him a record player and extra needles at some flea market. He had smiled at the relic and thanked her. every day since she had brought him a vintage punk album. Some days she even listened to a song or two, wrinkling her nose in distaste. He shook his head. How had Angelus gone so mad as to try and kill her?

She deserved better than this. Rupert Giles should have chased her down with a ring and begged. There should be a small house or at least a two bedroom apartment filled with weapons, books, and giant stuffed animals. She needed a home, a real one.

Spike shifted again and opened his eyes. He looked at the warm glow of the windows and snarled. Things had to change soon. He'd seen it in her eyes for just a second, but it had been there. He remembered other eyes looking at him like that, two pairs of lovely brown eyes, longing.

The babies would hold her for a while, but he had to find a way to save her. He needed to consider his course. He glared at the watcher's door and headed toward his crypt.

* * *

Buffy looked at the boxes filling her room. The gallery was doing well. Her mom needed the space, but she had wanted, just for a minute, to pretend she was a little girl again. She bit her lip and leaned against the door jamb.

"I should have gone to Ethan's or Spike's." Buffy grimaced at the sound of her voice in the empty house. She moved into the room and grabbed her old jewelry box. She tucked it under her arm and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Buffy headed to the living room. She stared at the trunk. Tucked in the corner after the zombie attack, her mother had tried to cover it with some lacy thing. Buffy shook her head and pulled it off, wrapping her jewelry box in it. These were the things that mattered. She knelt and opened it, checking each blade. Her spare weapons were all in fine condition. She considered calling Giles for a ride because getting in Xander's car just wasn't an option, but keeping her watcher clear of Ethan was more important than sparing her back. She put the small box on top the gleaming weaponry, closed the lid, and slid the bolt.

She left her mother's house, knowing she had all the things she needed. The walk to Ethan's was uneventful. He merely nodded when she came up the stairs, deposited her burden next to the door, and curled up on his couch.

Ethan moved awkwardly around the room. He wasn't used to company, at least the kind that wouldn't go to bed with him. She smiled, watching him examine her things with distaste as he passed them on his way to bed. It really was the little things that made it all worth while. She pulled the blanket up over her belly, and tried not to think of the warm bed that wasn't hers.

* * *

Olivia smiled at the cab driver as she pulled her bag along behind her. She had gotten finished in New York early and managed to hop a flight. Ripper was going to be over the moon. She smiled as she knocked on his door. It was going to be a wonderful few days.

Ripper answered the door. He looked so restrained in his sweater. She reached out and touched his arm, eager for contact. He flinched away and stepped to the side to allow her entry.

"I caught an earlier flight. I thought you'd be quite happy about it." Olivia looked at the slump of his shoulders, the turn of his body from hers.

"Yes, well, I am researching at the moment." He gestured to the array of books on his desk.

"You could always get back to it with fresh eyes in an hour or two." Olivia stroked his side enticingly. Ripper just stepped away from her again.

"What the hell, Ripper?" She glared at him with her hands planted firmly on her hips. "I haven't seen you in weeks and you won't even buss me on the cheek like you would an elderly aunt that smells of cats."

"I'm sorry, Olivia. This thing between us," he said with a grimace. "It has to be over. I can't continue this. I don't love you and I won't, not the way you deserve."

She stood staring at him. His words seemed foreign, beyond comprehension. She wanted him, and what she wanted she got. It was her rule. Love didn't matter, but her happy future was on the line. They hadn't even argued. She looked at him again. He was hurting. He was in love, just not with her.

"Love isn't everything. No matter what the bloody Beatles said." She stepped up to him and placed her hand on his chest. "We are good together. We could have a life, children, the perfect package. It would be comfortable."

"I have a life here. I am comfortable enough here." Ripper gently pushed her hand away.

"So, it is that silly blonde that comes round. You told me she was a student, just a friend. You think she'll ever look at you, ever see you?" Olivia shoved his chest, trying to reach the anger inside him. If she pushed him hard enough, Ripper would punish her. She shivered in anticipation and shoved him harder. "That bit of fluff will only ever see you for your brain. She's probably using you to bolster her grades."

"Stop it, Liv. This won't make a difference. We've been friends for a long time. I would hate to lose that, but I can't do this any longer." He touched her cheek lightly. "I am sorry."

"You're sorry?" Olivia jerked back from him. "You were something once. I remember what you were like when you were young. Then, you just up and chucked it all for the museum. I never thought I'd see the day when a bit of skirt turned your head."

"You can stay on the couch. It's late." Giles gathered his books and started toward the stairs. He wouldn't fight.

"You won't even be a gentleman and offer me the bed?"

"No, it isn't mine to offer anymore." He never looked at her as he walked up the stairs. Olivia sat on the couch and let her tears come.

* * *

The box felt comfortable in his hand. It was an honor to hold it, an honor to use it. He looked to his brothers sensing their satisfaction. The moment was nearly at hand. Their pets scampered about happily, ready to assist them. He stroked his long fingers along the lid. The horrible cacophony would soon be gone and they could begin their true work. He held up the box, displaying it in the moonlight, building the anticipation within them all.


	37. Chapter 37

Ethan stumbled from his room, wrapping his blue robe around his body. He hadn't used it in years, having newer more luxurious ones. It had been a gift from Ripper and he enjoyed wearing it in front of Buffy. The horrible warmth of this place was certainly no reason to surrender his little pleasures. He glared down the hallway as a grating sound rent the air. It was far too early in the morning. He grimaced as the sharp metallic sound filled the apartment again. He turned, stalked down his hall, and looked into his lounge to see the slayer sharpening a sword. Her long practiced strokes both alluring and terribly frightening at once. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and said nothing, though not for lack of trying.

He felt his mouth forming the words, felt the air pressing past his vocal cords, but no sound escaped him. He clapped his hands and Buffy looked at him, annoyance clear in her expression. She opened her mouth. He could see her lips forming a single word, but there was no sound.

Buffy lowered the sword to his table and touched her throat gently, the panic in her eyes clear. She stood up and and began pacing. Ethan rolled his eyes. The girl just couldn't be still. There were a thousand ways this could have been done. She needn't panic. He closed his eyes and considered reversal spells, trying to decide which one to use. It was really a rather amusing prank, and this town was full of those both powerful enough and mischievous enough to have done it. He smiled and moved into his small kitchen, loving the play of chaos around him.

He put the kettle on and sliced some bread from the loaf he had bought at the bakery down the street. It was a quaint place that made passable scones. He placed the slices in his toaster and stared at the bread. Perhaps one of the witches in the store had cursed the bread. He had flirted rather shamelessly with all of them. It wouldn't be the first time such behavior had gotten him in trouble. He smiled fondly as memories played through his mind. Unfortunate that Buffy had gotten caught up in it. He would have quite a few ruffled feathers to soothe. He pulled a cup from the cupboard and filled his tea ball, waiting for the kettle to sound.

Buffy came in and sat down at the table putting a blue notebook on the down on the dark wood between them. He looked at the sticker decorating it, and found himself wondering what the significance of baby eating dingoes was. He looked up at her panicked expression and thought better of trying to find out.

Buffy opened the book to a blank page. He watched her write frantically, the motion of her hand blurring. She finished and shoved the notebook at him with a pen.

He looked at her, at the tension in her body, and stood. He didn't look at her rapidly penned words. Calm, rational minds were always best in a crisis. She slapped the notebook and pointed at him. She could be so demanding. He rolled his eyes and pulled out butter and jam. The lovely, little shrew would have to bloody well wait for once. He wasn't her servant.

She stamped her foot and the window rattled. He turned toward her and let his fury show. He wasn't a blindly devoted simpering fool like old Ripper. Tantrums were not acceptable. She put her hands on her hips and tapped her toes. He looked her up and down, considering turning her into something slow, like a turtle or a slug. She might learn something from the experience. He opened his mouth and no sound came. Her smirk only made matters worse. He watched as her hand flew in rapid movements. The ward snapped into place next to him, his tea and toast on the other side.

Teaching her the oldest protective magics had seemed like a good idea. Leave it to a slayer to find a way to make it an offensive weapon. He considered his options. He could take down the ward and continue this battle or read whatever the silly bird had scrawled onto the page. He looked at her, all blonde fury, her eyes flashing, and her belly rounded. He felt the fight go out of him.

His best mate's children were inside of her. He sighed. No matter how annoying she became he would tolerate it. He touched the ward. He was also done teaching her magic. It was no fun having it turned against him. He glared at her still tapping toes as he moved back to the table.

She bustled past him and poured the hot water into his mug. Dropping an oven mitt across the top of his mug, she let it steep as she slathered his toast with butter and jam. At least she was a gracious winner.

He picked up the notebook and let his eyes run over the words, not truly reading. Her handwriting was graceful and demanding. There were lovely loops and bold strokes. Was everything about her a contradiction?

He stopped as certain words began to register. Slayer dream and dying would have been enough, but the words went on and on, each one worse than the last. What was a slayer dream exactly? How reliable were they as prophetic tools? He paled as he read through the note with his full attention riveted to each word. A sense of dread bloomed in his gut.

Her eyes were soft and sad as she settled his mug on the table with his plate. Ethan looked into those eyes and realized the hell Ripper lived in. How did he manage to send her out each night? How would he handle watching her leave to fight when he discovered the truth about her pregnancy?

Ethan clenched the pen in his hand. He knew she was going to her Giles, going to fight some horrible unknown evil. He wrote the words anyway. She patted his hand gently and shook her head. He watched the warrior overtake the woman. The words became a mantra, a drum beat screaming in his head. He said them silently, again and again. Don't go.


	38. Chapter 38

Giles glared at Olivia as she sat curled in his chair. He couldn't send her off into this silent hell, but he wanted her gone. He knew Buffy would be here soon, and he didn't want to see the hurt in her eyes when she saw Olivia in his home again.

He clenched his hands together under the desk. The urge to vent his frustration was building, pushing him to the brink of his control. Olivia shifted in the chair and he looked at her, trying to see the woman he had cared for for so long. Guilt rose, bitter and hard. Hurting Olivia bothered him. Knowing he had used her to assuage his pain, used her as a substitute in his bed, only made the whole situation that much more untenable.

He was hurting them both. Buffy had handled the violation with such grace. He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. It felt wrong to think of that beautiful episode as a violation. He wanted to remember it as the ultimate expression of love it should have been. He considered the tiny steps they had been making toward each other before Willow's damnable spell. There was no question in his mind. They would have stumbled along toward the same destination, but to be forced there before they were ready had certainly set them both on their heels.

It was simple. Olivia was his friend, his past. Buffy was his soul. There would be no future without her.

He looked at the paper he had been writing notes on and considered, for a brief moment of insanity, committing all of his thoughts and feelings to paper for his slayer. He tried to imagine her response and shook his head. The things he needed to express to Buffy needed to be spoken aloud, needed to be flung at fate with a prayer and perhaps a ring. He thought of his grandmother's ring, waiting in its velvet cocoon as it for more years than the woman he intended it for had graced the earth. That was bracing, but it did not matter. He needed his voice, and he needed Olivia gone.

Xander and Anya had arrived some time ago and were curled together on the couch watching the infernal television with the volume turned low. They provided a buffer for Olivia. He felt a stab of guilt and rubbed the back of his neck. He was glad to have the young couple safe with him, but he envied them the comfort they found in each other.

He looked over a text that discussed a plague of silence that had destroyed a village on the Silk Road. The accounts were all greatly removed from the occurrence. Obviously, there had been survivors, but none of them had recorded the experience. What good could be gleaned from fifth hand accounts?

Frustration built inside him with each dead end. He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to think of a new avenue of research to explore. He glanced at his notes from the conversation concerning her dream, hoping for some unique, as yet unnoticed detail to catch his eye.

* * *

Willow considered going to Giles' place, but she was afraid he would still be angry. The silence was made stranger by the normal noises that still filled the air, the slap of feet running down the hall, the hum of the vending machines, the ring of the useless telephone. The noises seemed shockingly loud in the absence of human voices.

She looked at a girl crying by herself in the hall, but she didn't stop. Buffy and Giles would figure this out. They always came riding to the rescue.

She looked down at the floor and thought of Buffy's tear stained face, and felt the guilt hit again. What if they weren't the dynamic duo right now? It would be her fault. She looked back at the brunette crying in the hall and stopped.

She couldn't save the world, but she could help someone. She walked back the way she had come and took a deep breath. She reached out her hand and touched the girl's shoulder. Bleary, tear filled eyes looked up at her and she smiled, trying to reassure the stranger. Suddenly, her arms were full and she was being hugged tightly.

* * *

Angel watched as Maggie mobilized the troops on the tiny television screen. She was really quite amazing as middle management. He reclined on his bed with Drusilla while his little human minion typed frantically. He stroked Dru's cheek and considered the options.

Silence was golden.

It afforded such wonderful opportunities. Humans relied on language, the spoken word especially. They would never understand the world the way a vampire could. He took a deep unneeded breath, relishing the scent of fear in the air.

He had acquired a little army of demons by cooperating with Maggie. He trained them and made sure they were fed untainted food. Perhaps he would be able to take them out into the world as this situation escalated.

Maggie was cautious. Letting her believe she was still the one in control amused him. It would hurt her all the more when she was thrown into a cell when her usefulness was at an end.

He stroked his fingers through Drusilla's hair. She curled into his arms, crying for her muted pixies. More a reason to rejoice than mourn in his opinion. Her body shook against his and he kissed her temple. It was wonderful to have his beloved girl back. Her devotion was absolute.

* * *

Buffy opened the door with and looked in to find her watcher already rising from his chair. It was a relief to see him, to know he was safe. Their eyes locked and she smiled. The moment seemed to stretch between them. The casual shift of his weight from heel to toe made him seem younger, unsure. He touched her shoulder and rubbed his hand up and down her arm before pulling her close.

She closed her eyes, loving the soft feel of his nubby sweater under her cheek. His scent surrounded her. She sighed. Somehow not having her voice made the secrets she was keeping that much more difficult to hold.

She looked up into his green eyes and considered kissing him. What would he do when he couldn't retreat behind that big, fancy vocabulary? A smile curved her lips. She pressed her fingertips against the white tee revealed by the neckline of his sweater. He was so warm. His arms tightened on her and she silently giggled.

A loud crash sounded through the room and Buffy moved, placing herself between Giles and the noise. Olivia stood, a book at her feet, and glared directly at her. Buffy felt Giles hand on her shoulder, supporting her. Olivia stomped off to the bathroom. The door slammed, the sound reverberated through the apartment.

Giles' fingers tightened on her. Buffy closed her eyes ignoring Anya's concerned expression and Xander's unhappy one. Olivia was here, in his home. He hadn't stopped her visit. She was staying with him in his one bedroom having home.

This woman would be in his life long after Buffy was gone. She pressed her hand on her artificially flat stomach. Her babies would spend more years with Olivia than they would with her. Slayers didn't get happily ever afters, but maybe her children would love Olivia. Maybe Olivia would love them, help raise them, and give them a normal life. She fought back the tears, fought the urge to lean back against his strong chest.

She could not claim him.

This wasn't her life. Her life was hunting and killing.

The fantasy of a happy future was just a fantasy, after all.


	39. Chapter 39

Quentin Travers threw his empty glass against the wall. The shattering sound did nothing to soothe his nerves. There was still no news from that sodding hell, and this project was not progressing. His patience had long deserted him. He was running out of time. Each day this continued put his plans in greater disarray. He was losing control. With no slayer to concentrate on, the board was at loose ends. Loose ends that could lead to the discovery of some of his less acceptable activities.

His eyes fastened on room revealed to him by a simple mirror. Really, there were times when the non magical served best. No one ever considered a mirror in their bedroom to be unusual. He watched the young man sit, glaring at the door.

It was all there. The roguish attitude, the lack of respect for authority, the boy seemed to be an almost perfect recreation of the original in attitude if not appearance. His eyes were blue, but so were his mother's and his grandmother's.

"Is he still refusing to try?" Travers asked the woman that joined him. Seeing her eyes flick to broken glass, he raised an eyebrow. How dare she think to question him even if it was solely in her mind? Respect was paramount.

"He insists we are unbalanced and simply sits there waiting. He isn't stupid, but I expected him to be a tad more intelligent." She shrugged. "I knew his father. I find it hard to believe the apple fell this far."

"Do you think I am wrong then, my dear?" Travers looked at the woman and watched her crumble. It was best to keep those around him weak. He let his magic dance along his skin and spark at his fingers. She shivered. "Do you need a reminder of the consequences should you fail me?"

"No, sir."

"A pity. We had a bit of fun teaching you the rules, didn't we?" He smiled and stroked her cheek with a finger covered in blue flames. Her whimpers were wonderful. He loved cowardice. He didn't wait for an answer.

"Our guest is beginning to try my patience. Make him less comfortable if he continues to refuse." Travers stared at the sullen faced young man through the glass dividing them. There was no real resemblance, but the boy was tall as his father had been. No his genetic inheritance seemed to be centered around attitude and power. He knew the boy had power. The prophecy guaranteed it.

He smiled as he walked out of the room. The boy would bend to his will soon. The real power would be his and his alone. He ducked through the small entry to the supposedly ruined wing of his family home. Council business needed tending. It wouldn't do to miss a step this close to the finish. It would not do at all.

He opened the hidden door to his office and settled himself behind his desk. The comforting scent of cigars and leather swirled around him. He smoothed his hair and checked his pocket square. Decorum was observed in this room. Tradition ran deep, carved into the paneling and frescos. Generations of his family line had sat in this room and changed the world, their work unacknowledged. He was no different, but that would change soon enough.

He heard the main door to his office open and smiled at his mouse of a secretary. Her dull brown hair was carefully arranged in a demure chignon. Her tweed skirt and sweater set projected the perfect air of restraint. She never made eye contact with him though she frequently intimidated the Council's puppets. He rather enjoyed watching her scurry about. She had good sense. It was why he kept her. She also had a dab hand for filing.

"Mr. Travers, sir. There is a gentleman here to see you, a Mr. Collins." Her eyes fixed on his chin.

"Send him in immediately." He shuffled some papers on his desk, looking up in annoyance at his underling as he entered the office. Collins was weak and cruel, but useful in his way. He examined the young man as he stepped into the office. The confidence evident in Collins' body language irked him. "Well?"

"There has been news from America." Collins swallowed and his eyes dropped.

"There has been some problem in eliminating a comatose, rogue slayer?" He raised one eyebrow, knowing the answer without hearing the explanation.

"Yes, sir. She is still alive. I checked the hospital records. The team sent to dispense with the problem has turned up in a mental ward in a city in Nevada. They appear to have gone insane." Collins looked up at him and he smiled.

"Leave them there for now and send another team. We do not need to spend time assisting those that can not accomplish the simplest of tasks." They could rot there, forgotten. How dare they fail? He clenched his fountain pen, containing his rage.

"We can not send another team at the moment. Sunnydale has been quarantined by the local government. There is some as yet unidentified illness causing widespread laryngitis." Collins shifted his weight from foot to foot like a bloody public school child called before the head master. Perhaps he should design uniforms for the whole incompetent bunch. His lips twitched in amusement at the mental image.

"Quite aggravating, but perhaps our problem will take care of itself." He leaned back in his chair, rocking slightly as he considered the possibilities. "Most likely this is something for Miss. Summers to handle."

"Why not contact Rupert and have him handle the Lehane matter?"

"The fool developed a fondness for the girl. It would be cruel to expect him to take care of this matter for us. He was terminated for being overly involved with his slayer and her assorted friends. I can not imagine he would welcome contract work of such a nature." He rubbed his chin as he pretended to consider options. "Have a team head to Los Angeles and wait until the target is available."

"Yes, sir." Collins nodded, turned, and left his office without any niceties. The man needed to be reminded of his place, but that could wait. There were so many things to do.


	40. Chapter 40

Buffy moved quickly through the halls of the dorm searching for Willow. She was still hurting, but life threatening demon attack trumped her highly justifiable piqué. Could the babies be making her think more like Giles? Was that even possible? Super smart watcher babies make mommy slayer actually think, news at eleven. A smile flitted across her face.

She walked past their old dorm room and felt a stab of grief. The spell had been wrong, but who was teaching Willow about magic? She shook her head, still not quite ready to forgive her best friend. This sucked with a major side helping of super suckage. So, Willow still frosted her muffin. It didn't mean she wanted her dead.

She kept finding rooms with five or six students watching movies or listening to music as they shared food and comfort. It was nice to see people grouping together in a time like this. She continued on hearing a loud bang as a door opened down the hall. Funny how things stand out when normal human sounds are missing.

She rounded the bend and saw Willow marshaling another group into a room with a bunch of chips and soda and a variety of video tapes. They were all wearing white boards on strings around their necks, scribbling notes and wiping them away.

Buffy jogged up to the group and tapped Willow on the shoulder.

Willow turned and looked up at her with the whole deer in the headlights thing going strong. Buffy squeezed her arm gently and smiled. There would be long talks in their future, but, for now, survival and love could take the lead.

* * *

Spike looked at the pages Buffy had left behind her as she had sprinted through his crypt. Her quick hug and sad smile had eased his mind, but her bloody chicken scratch had him panicked again. Five pages of paper, filled with the quick, efficient script of the era, he ought the urge to tear them to bits. They didn't reveal much of anything other than the total lack of answers her little troop had managed to accumulate.

There was nothing to be done about it. He would be out helping her tonight, not taking patrol on his own. It made him nervous. Her timing was slowed. She still packed a wallop, but there were so many creatures in this town that wanted her dead. She had promised to stick to the streets and leave the cemeteries and sewers to him, but words on paper didn't mean fuck all. He leaned back, wishing he had inherited a bit of sight from Drusilla. They needed answers.

Perhaps a quick trip to Willie's could shed some light. If he was going to keep her safe, he needed information and a pint or two wouldn't be unwelcome.

* * *

Willow turned to Buffy and grabbed her hand as they came upon a campus cop emptying his stomach in the hall. She could see Buffy change, one minute she was her normal, happy self and the next she was moving with an efficiency, her eyes narrowed, Her mind centered on her task. They had been friends for years and she had never noticed it.

Willow shivered and imagined facing the predator that was her best friend. She had come so close. She squeezed Buffy's hand and smiled nervously as Buffy looked at her with a grim expression. She grabbed Willow's white board and wrote quickly.

Willow looked at the words and felt a shudder run through her. Buffy could smell blood over that horrible vomit smell. The words seemed so stark on her board. She blocked out the reality of the moment to consider Buffy's situation. The realities of Buffy's life were harsh. She faced evil all the time. The slayer couldn't walk away. There wasn't going to be a gold watch in Buffy's future.

Buffy needed some joy in the here and now. Maybe if she helped Buffy find some little spot of happiness, they could go back to the way things used to be. Willow didn't look at the words as she wiped them away. Her eyes locked on Buffy as she stared with calm concentration into the open room.

Willow smiled. She was gonna fix this thing between them. A birthday party, the right guy, it would be a fairy tale moment. Buffy would be so happy.

* * *

Ethan quickly scanned another page of the grimoire in his hands. This one seemed to be as useless as the last. He looked up at the stack of leather bound books and scrolls that had offered no information or pulls to remedy the current situation. He felt like throwing the book across the room despite the small fortune he had paid for it. How did Ripper, of all people, manage this without becoming daft?

An image of Buffy as she walked out the door rose in his mind. She'd looked so fiercely determined, but that one hand had pressed so lightly against her stomach. She was worried, not for her own safety, but for the precious lives within her. He grimaced and took a sip of his lukewarm tea. Those babies meant everything to her, but her duty had called.

Her Giles was the same. They both valued the world over their needs. He wanted to see them rage and fight, and they would, monster after bloody monster. They would never fight the fates that had befallen them. They were creatures of duty and light. He rubbed his forehead in frustration.

Ripper would fight fate for all of them, but Giles didn't remember how. Ethan sighed and slumped in his chair before examining the page again.

* * *

Anya squeezed Xander's hand and pointed at Buffy and Willow as they entered the amphitheater. She knew he would be relieved to see them together. He was very worried about his friends. She looked at Buffy and the pain that crossed her face when she looked at Giles called to her. If she still had her powers, she would be hanging on the slayer's every word, waiting for the wish. She sighed, eyeing Giles. His pain appealed to her as well. He was, after all, a victim.

Anya watched Willow from her place by Xander's side. He loved the witch. They had been friends for years, but she was trouble. She had been part of the debacle that had led to her humanity. Xander had been in real danger because of her then. She didn't know how many times his friends had endangered him. Buffy tried to keep him safe, but Willow never considered the consequences of her magic. Anya cuddled closer to Xander, and eyed his red headed, best friend.

Willow was not to be trusted. The witch always meant well, but she never left well enough alone or saw even the tiniest of errors in her own judgement. It didn't matter. Anya stroked Xander's chest gently. She would keep him safe, hell, high water, or witch.

* * *

Giles looked at Buffy as she gently hugged Willow. His slayer was the most remarkable woman. She was trying to comfort the others despite the fact that she was going to be facing these monsters alone.

He watched as Xander took Willow's place and Buffy touched the boy's cheek with such warmth in her eyes. Even Anya received a gentle hug. He shook his head as Xander headed out the door flanked by Willow and Anya. They were so brave. He started to collect his plastic sheets and assorted papers. He smiled as Buffy handed him some papers.

She touched his hand gently and smiled at him. He could see the sadness in her eyes. She kissed his cheek and was gone before he could stop her. He looked at the papers in his hand. There was an envelope addressed to him on top of the bunch.


	41. Chapter 41

Buffy glared up at the clock tower. Spike was coming, but there was no time to wait. He had taken off after the floaty demon doctor that was making house calls. She shivered and watched another straight jacket wearing, hopping mummyesque minion go in through the door. At least the little creepy ones were easy to kill. She looked down the street. There was no time to waste. Spike might take too long. She knew they were up there, knew it was her duty.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, apologizing to her babies as she took them into battle. If they didn't survive, a part of her would die with them. She looked behind her one last time, hoping to see Spike, but the wasn't there. She rolled her neck and headed in to the old building.

This was all the mayor's fault. He had to go and build all these creepy, old buildings because a hell mouth wasn't enough of a draw. Sewers everywhere, architectural homages to evil that no body really needed, and a giant door to hell right under the high school, the man had been the worst city planner ever. Blowing him sky high again sounded pretty good.

* * *

Tara grabbed her books. She was going to find Willow. Together they could do a spell and maybe restore the town's voices. She pushed her hair back behind her ears, wishing Willow had continued to stay with her after the attack by those weirdos on her dorm.

Tara bit her lip, considering all that got lost between them because they weren't being completely honest. It didn't matter, really, not so much at this time, but she was gonna have to tell Willow everything. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the door.

Waiting around wouldn't do any good. If Willow didn't want her afterwards didn't matter. They could try to fix this and deal with everything else later. She opened the door and headed toward Willow's room.

* * *

Riley Finn saw the shadows play along the shutters of the old timey clock tower. He hated this town. All of its pretty little buildings were just so much lipstick on the pig. He thought they had come here to set things right, but it wasn't so cut and dried.

He grimaced as he considered the vampires now living and training alongside the military teams. They had managed to win over Walsh, but he was sure she was wrong. Nothing unnatural could be good. He glared and strode toward the building at the end of the street.

There was nothing he could do about the vampires back at base, but he could fix this problem.

* * *

Spike followed the floaty bastard, but it was driving him crazy. Evil shouldn't bloody float. It was just such a nancy boy way of doing things. He smirked as the thing slowed, and turned.

He stared at its face and tilted his head. The bloke did have the whole creepy grin thing going for him. It wasn't like they were going to head out for a pint.

Spike followed the floating menace back toward the center of town, considering his own future. His evil days were done. He stopped and looked up at the moon for a moment. It hurt a bit, letting it go, but he couldn't protect the slayer and her young if she had to dust him.

He shifted into his demon visage and resumed stalking the fruity menace. A semi evil godfather's job was never done.

* * *

Willow heard someone banging on the doors in the hallway. No one was answering. She opened her door to see Tara running toward her with panic in her eyes. The demons following her friend seemed all the more terrifying because she couldn't scream.

Tara grabbed her hand and they took off down the stairs, scrambling for safety. Everything was locked. They managed to make it to the laundry room and shut the door, but those things could force it.

Willow threw her weight against the soda machine, but it wouldn't budge. Buffy s always made this stuff look so easy. She pushed again and felt her ankle give. She collapsed back against the washers as Tara gasped for breath next to her.

It was just a really big pencil. Willow narrowed her gaze and tried to move the machine with her power. It shook, but she couldn't get it to budge. Tara's fingers curled under hers and she turned her eyes to her meek blonde friend. Their power surged as something clicked into place. They turned as one and the magic flowed out naturally, easy as water, and the soda machine flew across the room, securing the door.

* * *

Riley watched as Buffy spun around almost blurring as she erupted into another series of kicks, beating back the things that had cornered him. How did a little thing like her move like that?

She was a thing, too. She was just another pretty facade painted over the ugliness. He loathed this place. The monsters fought the monsters, some of them pretty and some of them so grotesque it was hard to look at them. They needed destroying.

He watched as one of the grinning things glided up behind her with a scalpel and slashed her across her back. She stiffened, pain flashed across her face, and a loud roar sounded to his left.

A lithe vampire flung itself into the fray with no hesitation. Could her blood have drawn it to them that quickly? Riley pressed himself back into the corner as the monsters circled and clashed again and again.

* * *

Buffy used the two minions holding her as support as she flipped over, kicking her attacker away and breaking their holds in the same motion. She could hear Giles talking about efficiency and the economy of movement with every punch and kick. It was as if he was in her head, guiding her.

She went back to back with Spike, wishing she could banter with him. It always made these stressful situations easier if she could be flippant. Flippant while flipping, she smiled and punched one of the little ones square in the face, hearing the bones crunch as its face caved in.

Riley was cowering next to the box from her dream. She pointed at it frantically, but he refused to look directly at her. He slid with his back to the wall, escaping from the room as the battle raged. So, her psych T.A. was a commando and a coward.

She felt the cool presence disappear from her back as Spike was sent tumbling away. She kept fighting as he rolled up next to the table. She pointed at it and felt instant relief as he nodded.

Then relief turned to horror as he smashed each glass jar and turned to look at her proudly. She rolled her eyes in silent exasperation. A white clad arm wrapped around her neck and she mimed the opening of the box lid at him before tossing the annoying monster over her her shoulders and backing away from the advancing creepfest.

Spike smashed the box and she screamed. Her voice sounded loud in her own head, but it felt so good to be able to make a sound again. The Gentlemen stiffened and their minions cowered as her scream filled the room and echoed through the building.

They exploded, releasing showers of goo. Buffy stopped screaming and looked at Spike. She covered her mouth and managed not to laugh, but he glared at her anyway. His eyes flashed between lue and amber as he cast of strings of the glop covering him.

"Absobloodylutely perfect. Bloody damn priceless, Princess." He snarled. "You get to save the world and I get bathed in goo that smells of rotting flesh and talcum powder."


	42. Chapter 42

Olivia watched as Ripper puttered in the kitchen. He was quiet, waiting for her to acknowledge defeat. She wanted to hit him, to punish him.

"You've kept all of this from me." Her voice sounded odd to her own ears now.

"I told you about my life." His calm resignation irked her. He didn't show even the tiniest bit of remorse.

"I thought those were just fairy tales and fanciful stories meant to impress me, and you know it." She sounded petulant and priggish. This was not what she wanted.

"I knew you thought I was spinning tales." He ceded with a nod and moved into the room with the tea tray.

"The Pink Floyd thing?" She asked because suddenly anything was possible.

"No, that one was a lie." He smiled at her.

"So, Buffy is a coworker?" Olivia watched his eyes drop to the floor.

"She is quite a bit more than a coworker, Liv. She is my reason." He glanced out at those bloody flowers again. She gritted her teeth, considering her options. Pushing Ripper was always a risky business with that temper of his, but she had to try.

"Your reason for what exactly?"

"For bloody every damn thing. Do you want me to spell it out? To paint you a picture?" He snarled and stalked toward the kitchen. The apartment seemed far too small suddenly. She watched him and perceived how much of the sophisticated façade had eroded. The dangerous man she remembered from her youth stood quietly making tea. She took a steadying breath.

"In for a penny, in for a bloody pound then," she muttered. Her eyes rested on him as he approached with the tray. She let him withdraw back into the refined mask as he sat and poured their tea. Accepting a cup, she smiled sadly at his determinedly unfixed gaze. He was doing his best to make her invisible. She felt a hot rush of outrage.

"Have you made arrangements for your flight?" Always so damn polite, stripping away any chance to make this a real conversation.

"I'll go when I'm ready. You owe me this conversation if nothing else." Olivia saw the flash of anger on his face.

"Why are you drawing this out, Liv? We had some fun, but it needs to come to an end." He leaned back, his eyes finally focusing on her.

"There's a future for us. I can see it. You would as well if you dragged your bloody head out of your arse. Do you honestly believe that blonde bint gives a damn about you?"

"Do you honestly believe that's what matters to me here?" He shook his head sadly. "I trained from ten years of age for this job. I live to protect her. If she loves or loathes me makes no difference."

"Now, that is a whopper of a tale. You trained to do job, but you stay to indulge your Humbert Humbert fixation." Olivia crossed her arms under her breasts allowing him to admire her curves and her indignation, but he just set his cup down and stood.

"She is a woman grown. I will not allow you to bismirch her character or mine with such allegations." His demeanor changed and she could see the passion that called to her in the quick, controlled movement of his body.

"So, you've never taken the little girl to your bed?" She regretted the words even as they escaped her lips. No matter his answer, she knew the truth. He wouldn't let her into the loft. It was some sort of holy ground to him now.

He just glared at her, and it was too much. The silence stretched between them. she balled her fist next to her leg on the couch. She had made plans around this man, thought about what lovely children he would make with her. It simply could not end like this. He could not chose that blonde child and this horrible life over her.

The cup left her hand before the thought had formed to throw the damnable thing. He caught the cup, but its contents soaked his sweater.

"And you called Buffy a child." He pulled his sweater and shirt free from his body and walked away from her with long strides.

Olivia's eyes narrowed as she noticed two new tattoos on her lover's back. When had he gotten the damn things? She followed behind him, trying to get a closer look at the new markings.

"Do those symbols translate into the little slut's name?" She shoved at his back, trying to raise his temper. Passion was passion. Old Ripper had always known how to use it to his best advantage.

Ripper turned in one swift motion. He was every inch the lethal bastard she had known for so long. He smiled slightly, a predatory curve. Her pulse quickened and she licked her lips. He touched her chin gently. His thumb and finger taking control of her head with gentle precision. She saw the anger in his expression, but he wouldn't be mad after. She might be a bit sore, but it would be fine. He would be hers again. She tilted her head as his fingers turned vise like, but she couldn't break his hold.

"Did you just call my Buffy a slut?" His voice was so calm. She shivered. She had never been afraid of Ripper, but this wasn't Ripper. The man holding her completely still with two fingers belonged to someone else. He was Giles.

"I did." Olivia let her eyes fall from his steady gaze. "She knew we were together, but I know you've slept with her."

"Did I miss the conversation where we discussed exclusivity?" His tone held none of its usual warmth.

"You hadn't been with anyone in years." She tried to step back, but he held her firmly in place. "I assumed."

"Must we visit the obvious?" He raised one brow. "Buffy saves the world regularly. She risks her life for you every night. You will not call her a slut."

"Did she go to your bed knowing about me? Or did you lie to her?" Olivia sneered.

"I will not discuss Buffy with you." He let her go and stepped back.

"Are you exclusive with her?" Olivia cringed inside at the desperation in her voice. Watching him move away from her only underlined the fact that she had lost this last painful gambit.

"I belong to her." Ripper stared at her steadily, the warmth gone from his eyes.

Olivia nodded. She took several deep breaths, fighting back tears that would never move him.

"I am sorry, Olivia. I never meant to hurt you." She looked up and found him looking at her with regret.

"I know that, Ripper." She smoothed her sweater over her hips. "I suppose I thought you would be there when I was ready to settle down."

"I won't be pushing a pram about if it's any consolation." He smiled at her, but the warmth of the words was absent in his demeanor. "There isn't a happy ending here."

"This world you've chosen seems very bleak." Olivia touched his shoulder gently.

"Tricky word, chosen. It makes destiny seem like an option." He turned and walked away from her.


	43. Chapter 43

Spike shifted from his place against the wall. Watching the two slayers sleep made his skin itch, but he would rather spend a month in Angelus' tender care than leave Buffy to fend for herself with an injury.

The scalpel had cut deeply into her flesh. He grimaced as he remembered the smell of her intoxicating blood. It had been a misery carrying her here and treating the damn thing with the stupid butterfly things he had pilfered. He looked down at his hands and fought the urge to wash them again. The scent and feel of her drying blood lingered though he knew logically that it was gone.

He looked at her blonde hair trailing over her shoulders and counted time using her breaths. How many did she have before the next crisis? How many until he was too slow or too daft to keep her safe?

His gaze shifted toward the covered window. He had never truly hated losing the sun, but now he felt the limitations of it so strongly. Buffy needed a protector at all times. There were demons that didn't require the cover of darkness. He flicked her charm bracelet around his hand. She needed her bloody watcher.

Ethan slid into the room and nodded as his head in greeting, his eyes falling to Buffy with obvious relief.

"She said she was fine, but..." The sorcerer said quietly.

"It's never quite okay until you see it with your own eyes." Spike said softly.

"How does Ripper stand it? She goes out night after night and his heart goes with her. I can barely stand the girl, and I was up all night, pacing."

"Some of that could be guilt." Spike looked at him with disdain. "You are, in part, responsible for this mess she's in."

"I wasn't the one that tried to kill off Ripper." Ethan looked at him steadily.

"No, you're the one who convinced her to keep the truth from him. So, all she has now is a vampire, a sorcerer, and another, comatose slayer to protect her. None of us are really equipped for the task." Spike crossed his arms across his chest and watched Ethan's eyes light with anger.

Buffy groaned and raised her head, blinking sleepily. Both men went still as her blue grey eyes locked on them. She smiled and waved.

"Ethan, thanks for bringing me some clothes. My jacket and shirt are toast." She smoothed the hospital gown across her burgeoning belly. "I don't think they make glamours strong enough to cover this monstrosity."

"You look lovely." Ethan objected. "Your body is supposed to change. There are two humans growing inside you."

"Nothing more beautiful on the earth than a woman round with child. It's a crime you have to hide it, Pet." Spike's eyes dropped to the floor and he shuffled his feet.

"I meant the hospital gown." Buffy glared at them both and looked down at her stomach. "Do I look that fat?"

Spike rubbed the back of his neck. He needed a drink and a hand or two of kitten poker. It would be good to be amongst demons again. Spending too much time with humans just made a vamp soft.

Buffy ran her hands over her belly and concern flashed across her face. She stilled, staring at a point beyond him. Her fingers trembled slightly before they bunched in the ugly fabric.

"What if the blade had something on it?" She looked up at them. "The babies might be hurt."

"If there had been poison on the damn weapon, I would have smelled it. You need to relax. I told you I could hear their hearts thrumming away just fine. Your little one are quite snug." Spike took a step toward her and was shocked when hug launched herself into his arms and hugged him tight. The girl kept making him feel. He closed his eyes and stroked her arms with his hands, careful to avoid her back.

"Are you sure they're okay?" She looked up at him and his mouth went dry as he nodded. How did she manage to make him feel so much with a single glance? He looked to Ethan and noticed the man's eyes trained on her back.

"What are you looking at, Sorcerer?" He glared at Ethan and turned Buffy around his body to protect her.

"She was cut just hours ago and there isn't even a mark." Ethan looked at Spike with shock clear on his face.

"Duh, slayer healing." Buffy pushed Spike over a bit and walked toward the bag of clothes Ethan had brought. "I take a licking and keep on kicking."

Spike saw an incredulous look flash across Ethan's face as she moved away. He shrugged. She was good at inflicting damage. She had to be able to take it as well as dish it out.

"One of those things licked you?" Ethan appeared truly appalled.

"I just paraphrased an old watch commercial and eww." Buffy crinkled her nose as she dug through the bag. "Watch some television. What is it with you Brits and the avoidance of the electronic goodness?"

"I resent that." Spike winked at her. Buffy shook her head.

"You have obviously learned a thing or two while you rampaged around the world." She blew him a kiss and held up the floral halter top that Ethan had brought. "I imagine you would know this is a warm weather top."

"It's warm." Ethan looked offended. "The sun is shining and it's bloody hot. That is everyday in this town."

"It's December, Ethan." Buffy shook the shirt at him. "December."

"I thought it wouldn't hurt your back." Ethan glared at her. "I wasn't worried about the weather."

Spike watched Buffy jump and then she was hugging Ethan just as she had him. She was lethal with those things, killing off the resentments that bubbled to the surface. He met Ethan's eyes over her head and saw a familiar confusion there. Buffy pulled back and patted the man on his chest.

Spike fought the urge to laugh as the man moved back from her with a scowl. He had actually relaxed, his heart beat slowing, while she hugged him. This irritation was all for show. Buffy just grinned.

Spike looked at closely at her as she walked back toward Faith. There was a glint in her eyes, a bit of mischief. The little minx knew exactly what she was about. He rocked back on his heels and tried to build up a bit of righteous anger, but it wouldn't come. He shook his head. Unlife evolved in odd ways.

Faith's monitors suddenly began beeping like mad. He watched as Ethan's head turned and Buffy moved with a burst of speed to stand by Faith, her protective stance made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Spike spun, looking for the danger, when the world suddenly shifted and shook under his feet. It was like being aboard a ship, a ship caught in a hurricane. He moved toward the door only to find himself hurtling backwards.

He slid to a stop by Buffy's legs, and saw Ethan crouched on the other side. He felt the tingle of magic as wards snapped into place around them. He looked up and saw Buffy with her eyes closed and her hands glowing. Everything went still and she sagged against Faith's bed.

"So, that was an earthquake?" Ethan stood up dusting his pants off. "My first."

"Mine, too." Spike looked at Buffy as she let the wards fall.

"Not mine." She paled and looked around the room. "I have to go to Giles'."


	44. Chapter 44

Giles watched Buffy pace around the courtyard. She was wearing a flowery shirt and a hospital gown as a jacket. Even for Buffy, the outfit was outlandish.

"Care to tell me about the unorthodox jacket?" He asked and watched with amusement as she scowled.

"Can we focus? Please?" She slapped her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Earthquakes are so not of the good."

"We do live in California, my dear. Sometimes an earthquake is just a result of seismic activity." He leaned back and watched as her cheeks flushed a most becoming rose.

"We live on the mouth of hell." She stomped her foot and his neighbor's window rattled. "Do I have to remind you what happened after the last damn earthquake? I died."

"Yes, I do recall that, despite my advanced age." He stood up, shoving back his chair. "I never forget it."

"I'm sorry." She walked and stood directly in front of him. "I just want to feel safe."

"Buffy, I checked the books and scrolls before you arrived. There was nothing to make me suspect this would put you in any danger. I would not be out enjoying the garden if I believed there was anything supernatural about this."

"I'm scared. I didn't even get a twenty four hour break between adrenalin spikes. It makes me nervous." She reached out and rested her hand over his heart. "I'm not ready to die again."

"There is no reason to think that your death is approaching." He grabbed her shoulders and stroked her shoulder blades with his long fingers. She leaned into him and he wrapped her tight in his arms.

"Can I borrow a sweater or something? This hospital gown has to go." He smiled against her hair.

"You can have anything you want." He pulled back and enjoyed the lovely pink tint of her face.

Buffy looked up at him, her eyes wide and questioning. He stroked her cheek and lowered his lips to hers not closing his eyes until she shut hers. Her lips were soft, her actions hesitant. He swung her up into his arms and carried her into his darkened apartment. He smiled as she flexed in his arms, trying to draw him closer without breaking the kiss.

He settled on the couch and she moved quickly, shedding her strange jacket and straddling him without surrendering her claim on his lips. He caressed her bare back, her fashion choices finally gaining his approval. The moment was slipping away from him. He pulled back and enjoyed the mew of protest as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Buffy, Love, I want to have dinner with you." He pushed her hair back as she sat on his knees. She bit her lower lip and fussed with her hands when he wouldn'relent her off his legs.

"We shouldn't, Giles. What about Olivia?" He saw the flash of sadness in her eyes.

"Liv won't be back." He rubbed her hip with his left hand.

"Was it all the weirdness? Maybe I could talk to her. Make her understand." Buffy's sudden interest in his sweater amused him.

"I was the one that ended things, Buffy."

"Why? You could have had a future with her. Maybe it's not too late." Buffy managed to get free of him and took off toward his desk. "Call her."

"No." He crossed his arms and waited for his simple answer to sink in through Buffy's flurry of thought and motion.

"What?" She stopped and turned toward him with a panicked expression Plastered on her face.

"I will not be calling her. She will not be returning. That is my truth for the day." He raised a brow as she stood staring at him with her mouth hanging open. It had taken quite a few years, but, finally, she was speechless. He stood and walked to her, watching her eyes track his every move. "I would like to try something."

"What?" Her voice came out in a high pitched squeak.

"I want us to date."

"Date?"

"Yes, I want us to spend time together. Time that is not marred by demonic discussions and research. I would like to take you to the cinema and to dinner. I think spending time together outside of slaying would be a welcome change." He watched her nod Before dropping his lips to hers again. Her arms wrapped around him and he flinched at the sudden show of strength. She let him go instantly.

"Sorry." She looked down and away.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Buffy." He took her hand in his soothing her with gentle touches. "I am not so easily broken."

"When do you want to go on our first date?" She still hadn't looked at him.

"Now, but it seems rather unrealistic." Her eyes shot to his. "Most of the restaurants and other establishments we might patronize are cleaning up from..."

"This morning's portent of doom." Buffy offered. He could see the teasing light in her eyes.

"You mean your outer wear?"

"Yeah, yeah. Make fun of the woman that is going to borrow a sweater." She leaned against his chest and he touched the marks running down her spine. Olivia's words about the marks on his own back suddenly sounding through his mind. He stiffened. "Are you okay?"

He looked down into her eyes and managed a small smile. He needed to see the marks on his back. He pulled her flush with his chest and considered his options. An outside force could be at work on them. She could be in danger. He closed his eyes. What if their emotions were being toyed with? His stomach twisted as he thought about her, about the both of them in his bed. He remembered the silk of her skin, the heat of her body. What if it had all been a lie? He took a deep breath. Did it matter? Did it really matter at all?

He opened his eyes and looked down her back. There was a great deal of research to do. He couldn't ignore it anymore. He stroked his fingers through her hair. She was his slayer and his life no matter the magic, no matter her true feelings.

He stepped back and cupped her cheek. She covered his hand with her own, a soft smile played across her lips.

"So, dinner tomorrow night?" He smiled as she nodded.


	45. Chapter 45

Buffy put on the dress and grimaced at how it pulled along her body. None of her clothes fit anymore. Ethan knocked on her open door and leaned against the jamb.

"That doesn't fit. It won't no matter what you do. Your clothes must fit for them to look normal on your body when you are wearing the bracelet, my dear." He smiled and dodged the brush that bounced off the wall next to him. "I took the liberty of procuring you some things."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy glared at him.

"I bought you some maternity wear. It seemed quite fetching." He pulled a rack from the hallway into her room. "The leather jacket is from Spike. He had it equipped especially for you and prattled on about it for hours. Seems slayers and leather are a good mix in his mind."

"Spike got me a jacket and you bought me clothes?" Buffy ran her hands along the hangers.

"It seemed like the thing to do. I am trying to be less of a bastard." Ethan straightened the collar of his silk shirt.

"I think you might be succeeding." Buffy smiled at Ethan and watched as he blushed. "I can see why Giles still likes you."

"Your Giles can't stand me." He shook his head and watched as she happily held up a blue dress.

"Ripper isn't as gone as you think." Buffy said. "If he wanted you gone you would be."

"He'll want me dead when he finds out about all of this."

* * *

Willow stared at the body next to her. Why had she come to this party? Buffy and Xander hadn't shown up. She'd wound up hiding in a dark room with a dead body. This wasn't even the worst party she'd ever attended.

She looked at the symbol, trying to ignore the canvas And the medium. Giles might know something about this. It didn't look good. Really, how could symbols drawn in blood look good? It was just counterintuitive.

She backed out of the room and called the campus cops. They were as useless as Sunnydale's finest, but they would handle the detail work. She trotted down the steps and out the door. Speed was important.

"I really miss Tara." She stopped, frozen by her own casual words. It wasn't Buffy she was longing for, or Xander, or even Oz. She wanted to spend her time with the quiet blonde. She turned towards Tara's dorm.

They could head over to Giles' place together.

* * *

Giles examined his back in the mirror as he dried his body. There were two markings. They were at least similar to Buffy's, but his scar tissue made it difficult to see if they were identical. He tried stretching again, but it made no difference. He turned and looked in the mirror.

"It doesn't matter." The books piled on his desk, the hours of painstaking research had led him to only the most obvious conclusions. There was a spell acting on Buffy and on him. It had provoked resonance and it had something to do with the flowers. He splashed water up on to the mirror in frustration. He needed Buffy to talk to him, to trust him.

He finished drying off, considering his options. The spell needed to be discussed, but he might lose her if he pushed too hard. She seemed to doubt his love and devotion. Willow's damn spell had caused him so much grief. He swallowed and closed his eyes as images of that night flooded his mind.

He wrapped the towel around his hips and headed to his room. He needed to dress. She would be here soon.

* * *

Spike glared at the pair of commandos as they moved through the cemetery. The idiots chatted as if nothing could overhear them. He rolled his eyes as they discussed some guy named Finn's obsession with a peculiar girl.

"Give the guy a break. Walsh has no time for him now. She's always with everybody's favorite undead duo." Spike watched as the fool with the night vision goggles pushed up on his forehead snickered.

"I don't get it. I mean they're just vamps. Why is Walsh so ga ga over them?" Spike swung his eyes to the baby faced member of the crew.

"They're old vamps, like really old. The big guy has worked with our organization before, but he slipped the lead. I think Walsh wants a personal attack dog." Goggles was talking out his ass. He was posturing for his compatriot. Braggarts annoyed him. "It's the female that makes me uncomfortable."

"She makes everyone uncomfortable. I mean what's with the pixies and what the hell are pixies? Do you think she actually sees anything?"

Spike froze as they continued, walking under the branch he was perched on. Drusilla was here. The voices moved away, but he remained in the tree. Angel and Drusilla were here together. They were bloody well screwed.

* * *

Drusilla shuddered as Angel stormed around their quarters. Her sire couldn't go much longer with this magic riding him. It was making him unstable. Even when Daddy had no soul, he had common sense. This version of Daddy couldn't keep her safe, wouldn't even try. She rubbed her temples fighting off another vision. She had to stay with Daddy. She had to keep him safe.

"I should just strangle them all and be done with it. This isn't amusing any more. Buffy is out there flaunting herself, forgetting that she belongs to me." He snarled and tossed the computer monitor against the wall.

"We need to leave, Daddy. This world of machines will consume us if we don't." She gathered her doll and held out her hand. His brown eyes flicked over her. His belligerent expression faded and he clasped her hand.

Dru closed her eyes and let the pixies guide her. They moved quickly through the maze of halls, slipping past cameras and sentries. She relaxed when she felt the rush of fresh air on her skin. Her sire took a deep breath, and she opened her eyes. The cave that surrounded them was a dangerous access point. They could be followed.

"We need to seal this cave, Daddy." She smiled as he nodded. They would escape and the watcher would help her save her Daddy soon. She cocked her head and listened as the pixies sang with joy.


	46. Chapter 46

Willow held Tara's hand and knocked on Giles' door. When he opened it Awith a smile that quickly faded, Willow ducked her head. Things were so not back to normal. She needed to make things right for him and for Buffy. She stepped across his threshold before raising her eyes to his again.

"This is rather unexpected. Is there a problem, Willow?" He sounded like stuffy old librarian, watcher Giles, not friend Giles.

"I went to a party and I wound up in a dark room with a dead body." Willow looked up and considered his calm reaction. Only in Sunnydale would this news seem normal. There was this symbol drawn in blood over it. I thought it might be important."

"I am to assume your young friend is aware of things then?" His frosty gaze warmed as he turned to smile at Tara. He extended a hand. "Welcome to my home. I am Rupert Giles, and you are?"

"Tara." She shook his hand and Willow watched as they assessed each other. Why did this mean so much to her? She but her lip and looked around the apartment. Olivia was obviously still in town. He had set up a meal on the coffee table with a real table cloth and china. There were big pillows on either side of the table. The whole thing looked exotic and romantic.

"I am really sorry to interrupt, but this seemed like a need to know thing, ya know?" Willow looked at his chin, not wanting to see the chill in his gaze.

"Perhaps, if you could draw the symbol, I would be able to begin researching?" He sighed, pulled a yellow legal pad from the desk, and handed it to her.

Willow nodded as Tara walked around the apartment, looking at all the odd bits of watchery goodness. She let her eyes trail after the blonde, hoping she would fit in with the gang. Oz had been her plus one with them, but if Tara liked everybody She wouldn't have to feel so alone when they all got together.

"Your flowers are lovely." Tara blushed as Giles walked over and nodded. "My mother did a similar spell to protect our home. Earth magic is so simple, but really powerful when it needs to be. My mom never did anything this big though."

"You were raised in a magical home?" Giles looked at her with curiosity. "I would enjoy learning about your experiences. It is so rare to find someone born to the craft."

"It was only my mother." Tara blushed again and ducked her head. "She was special."

"You said the flowers were created by earth magic?" He smiled gently and Willow felt a stab of jealousy. Giles was happier conversing with a relative stranger than with her. She tuned out their conversation. It was petty to resent Giles for taking to Tara when that was what she had wanted. Who cared about flowers anyway?

She turned her attention to drawing the symbol. She would make things right with Buffy and Giles. She just needed to figure out what to do. She sketched the simple lines and stared at the page before her. It was familiar, but she couldn't place it. She turned toward Giles and Tara.

"I would appreciate a chance to peruse your mother's books." Giles nodded as he and Tara moved back toward the desk.

"I'd like that." Tara glanced up at him through her hair. "I want to learn more, but it's too dangerous to just push forward without some guidance."

"I'd be happy to assist you in any way that I can." He gently touched Tara's shoulder before moving toward the desk. Willow watched as Tara smiled at the watcher's back. He was such a good guy. Olivia was probably handling all the weird stuff pretty badly, but it would all work out. Who would give up Giles?

"I finished drawing the symbol, Giles. Do you recognize it?" Willow held up the paper and watched as he tilted his head considering her drawing.

"This was drawn in blood. You're sure?" His voice took on that steady tone that meant Buffy would soon be in danger. He was at the bookcase before Willow could set the paper down. Why did he always get so calm when the news was bad? She stood and moved to stand next to Tara.

Giles pulled several volumes from the shelves. His fingers slid along ancient bindings as he looked for the texts that held answers. His soft murmurs were barely audible, the words spoken aloud only because his panic broke his ability to contain them.

"His aura just changed. It's like he's reaching for something." Tara grabbed her hand. "

"He's hurting?" Willow stared at Giles, looking for some sign of pain. He looked just like he always looked.

He moved away from the bookcase with a stack of books, handing a book to Tara and one to her before settling at his desk with the rest. He pinched the bridge of his nose and glanced at the clock on his wall.

"Look for apocalypse cults with similar symbols. We need these answers fast. Sorry to drag your charming friend into the deep end Willow, but we haven't much time." He was already turning pages before he stopped speaking.

When someone knocked on the door, Giles sprang from his chair. Willow watched as he flung the door open and gathered Buffy in for a brief hug. That was new. Giles and Buffy weren't touchy feely people. She turned when Tara gasped.

"His aura just wrapped around her. It's like they're glowing." Tara whispered. "He was reaching for her this entire time."

"He is her watcher." Willow shrugged. "They've always been fairly weird about stuff. You get used to it."

"Their auras weren't complete without each other. I've never seen anything like it." Tara looked at Willow. "It's so beautiful."

"So, I'm guessing I was right about the seismic stuff after all." Buffy looked up at her watcher with a sad smile.

"It would seem so, my dear." He touched her cheek lightly and walked over to the desk.

"Oh, ominous symbols, my favorite." Buffy picked up the yellow sheet. "So, what is it this time?"

"The end of the world." Willow held up her book and watched as Buffy shivered and her eyes dropped down to her feet.


	47. Chapter 47

"Another apocalypse?" Buffy crossed her arms across her chest. "You have got to be kidding me."

She looked at Giles. He looked so nice in his fancy clothes, casual and classy. She fussed with her blue dress. All that primping for nothing. They couldn't even have a real talk with Willow and her friend hanging around. Not that she could have the real talk with him anyway, but it was their date getting shoved to the back burner. She looked at the drawing on the yellow paper and wanted to rip it to shreds. apocalypse meant she was up to bat with her babies in tow. She swallowed and looked at her stomach. Ripping the bracelet off and having a good cry seemed like a pretty damn good idea right now.

"I wanted tonight to be special." She muttered. She saw Giles knuckles whiten as he tightened his grip on the pencil he was holding. Damn, he had heard her. She put her hand down on the desk, curling her fingers in to resist the temptation to reveal everything.

"I had hoped for something along those lines as well." He looked at her and one side of his mouth turned up in a half smile. He put the pencil down and covered her clenched fist with his own hand.

"What are you two talking about?" Willow asked from the couch. Giles slid his hand away.

"I was just looking forward to some down time. I mean the Gentlemen met their gooey end, but now it's apocalypse time again. We got like no break at all." Buffy tossed her hands in the air and stalked into the kitchen. The timer was counting down the minutes and she looked at it, blinking back tears. Their first real date was being destroyed, and no amount of slaying would save it.

Giles came up behind her and pulled her body back against his, settling his chin on the top of her head. His hands ran up and down her arms. She desperately wanted to tell him everything.

"We will get through this, Buffy." He squeezed her arms gently, emphasizing his assertion.

"I'm just having a pity party, Giles. I was really looking forward to our date tonight and now I have to go out and kick demon ass instead of eating whatever is making this whole place smell so good." She stepped away from him and turned to stare at their feet unhappily.

"There will be other nights." He touched her cheek, drawing her eyes up to his.

"There will be other apocalypses." Buffy growled.

"Most likely, but this one seems to be simple enough to stop. We just need to keep the demons from obtaining the Word of Valios. They more than likely have the other things they need." Giles stroked her cheek with his fingertips.

"Yeah, I'd better head out and start looking for the thing." Buffy turned her head, pressed a kiss to his wrist, and stepped away from his touch.

"I found a locator spell." Willow called out. "I could do it and it would be so easy for you to go get it."

"Willow, let me see the spell." Giles held out his hand and Willow reluctantly handed it over. He examined the book with Buffy pressed against his side.

"It's a simple incantation." Buffy leaned back and looked her watcher in the eye. "Can you do it, Giles?"

"I can do it, Buffy." Willow averred. Buffy looked at her friend and felt her stomach roil. There was an eager light eyes the red head's eyes. She wanted to do the magic badly, but she didn't want to help.

"No offense, Wil, but I want it to be Giles. Intent is everything with magic. I trust him." Buffy looked at Giles and saw the slight blush riding his cheeks. Damn, that was cute.

"I can do the magic." Willow stomped toward Buffy, hands fisted on her hips.

"I know you can do magic. Very, very aware of it." Buffy said, her eyes darting toward the loft. "But you need to work on control. Giles is my watcher. He has so got this. Please, don't make this a big deal."

Willow's hurt expression didn't mask the anger in her eyes. Buffy looked to Giles and saw the wariness in his expression. This was not of the good. She bit her lower lip.

"I managed to save the both of us from the Gentlemen. Didn't I Tara?" Willow turned to the quiet blonde.

"We did it together." Tara's voice emerged, barely more than a whisper. "I didn't have the skill and you needed extra power. You were amazing, but we did that together."

"Yeah, but I could do this." Willow whined.

"I have no doubt you could do the spell, but Buffy is correct about your intentions. Doing something because you can is seldom a good idea." Giles voice was pitched low, his tone soothing.

"Willow, we may not have a whole lotta time here. Giles will do the spell, and we can all sit down and hash out our issues later." Buffy stared her friend down, waiting until Willow dropped her gaze before turning back to Giles.

He nodded and started to chant his eyes looking to her at the end of each line. She felt the tingle of his magic as it flowed around her, pulling on their bond. She pushed her own power out toward him instinctively. A surge of power raced up her spine and left a tingling sensation behind. She took several deep breaths, enjoying the strange moment. There would be battles to fight soon enough.

A glowing green line appeared before her. It looked to be made of sparkling dust particles. She ran a hand through it, but nothing happened.

"Can you see this?" She asked Looking to her three companions.

"No, I can't. Only you are allowed to see it." Giles stepped close to her and rested his hand on her shoulder. "You need to go. I have no idea how long the spell will last. We shall look for any more information available on this matter."

Buffy nodded and darted out the door. The line disappeared as she moved along it. When it disappeared up the stairs to her current residence, she froze. The door was ajar and hanging from one hinge. She was up the stairs in a matter of seconds. The symbol was carved into the wood of the door to the apartment. She heard a rustling sound and whirled toward the living room.

Ethan was curled up on the floor, bloody and bruised. He looked up at her and released the wards he had thrown up.

"Glad you could make it." Ethan tried to straighten his leg. "I take it the date did not go well."

"It didn't go at all. It's the end of the world. Some crazy apocalypse cult wants to drag the world into hell."

"It must be Tuesday." Ethan chuckled and coughed. "Would it be too much of a bother to get some ice?"

There wasn't a lot of time, but she ran to the linen closet. She grabbed a towel and some ice from the kitchen, made a temporary ice pack, and raced back to the living room to hand it to him.

"You had the Word of Valios?" She asked.

"What is the Word of Valios?" He looked up at her and winced when his neck made a loud popping sound.

"I don't know, but some demons need it to end the world." Buffy looked around the room, taking in all the damage.

"Do you suppose that is why the demons came and beat me to a pulp?" Ethan snarled. "It was in a box of trinkets I picked up at the estate sale of an old wizard. I had no idea it was dangerous. I wouldn't have kept it on bloody hand if I had."

"I know that, Ethan. I'm sorry they hurt you." She pulled a pillow from the couch and propped it behind him. "I have to go. We had a spell, but it only brought me here. I need to know where they are going. I really didn't need another apocalypse right now."

"Get your pet vampire." Ethan winced as he shifted. "He'll be able to follow their scent trail."

Buffy nodded and frowned. Leaving him vulnerable seemed wrong, but there was no one to call for him. She hated leaving him undefended.

"Don't worry about me. Go. Stop the world from ending. I'll put up the best wards I can." He smiled up at her and made a shooing motion with his free hand.

Buffy whirled and was off toward the cemetery, not noticing anything as the streets flew by. She slowed when Spike came running toward her. He had a rapidly healing wound on his forehead.

"We need to get over to the high school, Pet. Some nasty demons want to open the damn hell mouth, bloody fools."

"What's that?" Buffy gestured to the burlap sack the vampire had clutched in his hand.

"I managed to take it from one of the demons." He shrugged. "Thought it might slow them down."

"What's in it?" She asked as they took off toward the school and why are we taking iIt with us?"

"It's got bones in it, little ones." He grimaced and stopped outside the church. Take 'em in there. The demons will have to find new ones."

Buffy grabbed the bag and carried it pinched between two fingers to the church doors. Little bones were in the bag. A wave of nausea rolled over her. There were little bones forming inside her. This bag held someone's child. Tears streamed down her face as she pulled the bag to her and held it gently. This had been some poor mother's baby. She pushed open the doors and walked to the last pew.

"Sleep well, little one." She put the bag down and looked up at the cross. A few stray tears fell as she turned her back on the empty space and fled from the thoughts of sacrifice. They led down a lonely path.

Spike looked at her and offered her his arm.

"I get making the right choices, but why is it always about giving up the things you love?" She kicked a rock as the walked the last few blocks toward the school.

"Don't know, Pet. Think that may be why there are so few beings of true goodness and so many of evil. You will do what you have to because you love the world. It's not in you to be truly selfish. If it were, the world would be gone a dozen times over."

"Why are you helping me? I mean I know there was a vow, but you are going well above the call." She ducked into the charred building.

"Haven't had a proper family in a long while. I forgot how they made me feel. You reminded me. I want you to live. Want those little bits of you to go on. I can't get back what I've lost, but I might be able to help you hold on to it." He rested his hand on her back.

"I'm glad. My dad left and Mom pulled away. Giles and Willow and Xander became my family. Now, it's bigger." She bumped her shoulder into his.

"Well, you certainly are." He smirked as she punched his shoulder. "Let me do the heavy lifting, yeah?"

Buffy nodded and they stepped into the library to find three demons chanting around a giant crack with burlap sacks clutched in their hands. The one spotted her and jumped into the fissure. The world began to shake.

"Just normal seismic activity." Buffy shook her head. Nothing in her life was ever normal. "There will be no more hell mouth diving."

Buffy tossed a ward over the smoking crack, but the sheer force of the malevolence flowing around the ward was exhausting her. She felt the tingling sensation down her spine and the flow of power became strong.

Spike charged in and ripped the head off one of the demons. It was fast and smooth and perfect. Watching him fight was fun. Buffy took a deep breath, trying to decide if holding the ward was the best move. One of the demons was coming at her.

Spike growled, pivoted on the balls of his feet and tossed the head at the demon moving toward Buffy.

She slid to her knees, holding the ward in place as Spike circled the demon. This one was bigger. She felt sweat bead on her skin and fought to hold her body upright.

Spike finally threw a punch. It landed dead center on the other demon's barrel chest.

The demon roared and dropped his bag. It lunged toward Spike with it's arms extended, but the slim vamp spun away at the last second, letting the other demon slam into the wall behind him.

Buffy felt the world contract around her as she strained to keep the hell mouth closed.

"Just kill it. Don't play." Her chocked out words were so quiet she doubted Spike could hear her despite his enhanced senses.

The edges of her vision began to blur. She dropped forward, supporting her body with one hand. The acrid smell of burnt building and extra crispy mayor grew stronger as she sank closer and closer to the ground.

Her eyes closed and she felt the ward flicker. Her nose began to drip blood.

Damn.

This was not how she was going to lose. She pulled every bit of her energy and tossed it into the ward, collapsing to the floor as the earth shook.

Spike's cry of victory was the last thing she heard as her world went dark.


	48. Chapter 48

Giles pressed the cold cloth to his nose and leaned forward. His whole body ached. Willow and Tara were looking at him with wide eyes and a bit of fear. He wanted them gone, but he couldn't kick them out. He closed his eyes and prayed Buffy would bounce in soon. He opened his eyes and fingered his blood splattered shirt. He knew she wouldn't.

"She stopped it, right?" Willow looked at him for reassurance.

"It would seem that she accomplished her goal." He sighed as the blood flow stopped.

Tara emerged from the kitchen with a mug of tea. She moved quietly, but he was aware of her. The low hum of her magic called to him. She touched his hand and pressed the mug of tea into it.

"Drink this. It will help." She touched his shoulder and he felt the aches ease.

"You're a healer." He looked up into her gentle eyes and watched as she blushed.

"Not really. I learned some to help my mother, but I wasn't strong enough to do more than ease her pain." She bit her lip and retreated to her space next to Willow.

"I lost my mother in my youth as well." Giles said. "I wish I had spent time learning to alleviate her pain. I would have far fewer regrets."

* * *

Spike carried Buffy out of the school. Her charm bracelet was singed and useless. The glorious roundness of her fecund form filled his arms. She was breathing, her heart was beating, and the little bits inside her were snug and happy if their thrumming hearts were to be believed. They had managed to hold off the end of the world again.

"We make quite the pair, a dead man carrying a woman overflowing with life." He nudged her hair back from her face with his chin. The scent of her drying blood didn't appeal to him. The oddity of that played through his mind. He considered taking her to the watcher's and letting the chips fall where they may. "You would just stake me, wouldn't you, Pet?"

His crypt was closest, but she needed some care. He looked up to the sky as if the stars would guide him. With her bracelet busted Ethan's would be best, but she wouldn't stand for Faith remaining unguarded through the night.

The sudden clomping of feet and the scent of fear laced sweat hit him and he faded back into the bushes. The commandos charged by with their hand signals, thinking they were being stealthy. He watched them disappear into the building with a soft chuckle.

"Ethan's first, Pet. Then I'll go guard your little rebel." Spike gathered her closer in his arms and darted through the night using as much of his natural speed as he dared with his precious cargo.

* * *

Willow glared at Giles as he moved slowly up the stairs. Since when did he do the magic? It was her area. He got to do the heavy research. And where was Olivia? When had he cancelled his date? She shifted and tried not to look petulant.

"He'll be okay." Tara smiled at her. "I think he's just worried about Buffy. I like them."

"Yeah, they're great." Willow answered by rote.

"It must be difficult for them to balance things. I can't imagine how hard it would be to send someone you care about out to face the things in these books." Tara stood up and walked over to the shelves. "I had no idea there were so many demons."

"Well, demonology is Giles main area. He tells Buffy how to kill it, and she does." Willow waved her hand dismissively.

Tara nodded her head, but continued to stare at the books with wide eyes.

"It must be rewarding to be part of something that does so much good." Tara touched one book reverently. "Do you think I could help?"

"You helped tonight. That makes you a kinda Scooby." Willow smiled up at Tara. "Course you have to stick it out for a couple of apocalypses before you get your secret badge."

"Do you think Mr. Giles would let me study these books?" Tara looked shyly toward the stairs.

"Are you kidding?" Willow smiled. "He would love it, and I know where he keeps the spell books he doesn't want me looking at. There is some stuff in those that we could try."

* * *

Ethan looked at Buffy with gentle eyes. Spike sat on the couch, pillowing her head and running his fingers through her hair. She had stopped the end of the world again.

"She should be up by now." Spike looked up at him. "There are no injuries and her heart rate is normal. Why isn't she waking up?"

"She held a ward over the mouth of hell. Most covens couldn't do that. She won't bounce back from this. It could be hours or days." Ethan swallowed When Spike's eyes narrowed.

"She did more than that. She sealed the breach. The crack they were chanting over is gone." Spike's eyes dropped to Buffy again. "She was amazing. Never saw a slayer do magic like that. If they did, the world would be a much safer place."

"The Council keeps them weak. A strong, powerful woman doesn't have to listen. It's why active watchers bind their magic. They can't enhance their slayers with the bindings in place." Ethan shook his head. "Bloody fools."

"What's needed to wake her? Time and rest are all well and good, but a slayer can't be down like this." Spike touched her cheek. "Buffy and Faith are both sitting ducks like this."

"She needs her watcher. He could wake her now, but with no bracelet to hide her rather voluptuous additions..."

"Yeah, this isn't how she'd want him to find out. I have to get to the hospital. Faith needs guarding." Spike slid his body from beneath her head and replaced it with a pillow.

"She'll be fine." Ethan assured the vampire as he walked him out. He took several deep breaths and turned back to his very own sleeping beauty.

"You precious, little fool," Ethan said as he regarded her. The binding spell tied her to Ripper. Her body naturally feeding him strength and bleeding off the dangerous excess magic. He closed his eyes.

Ripper would be desperate to hear from her by now, but her exhaustion would be working on him as well. That would by them a few hours.

* * *

Buffy looked at Faith. They were both perched on gravestones this time. Buffy tried to push off and walk around, but she was stuck.

"I know. Sucks." Faith shrugged and looked at her with sad eyes.

"Why can't I move?" Buffy pushed against the stone under her, trying to break free.

"I think you overdid it with the magic, but what a way to go, B. Makin' little sis all proud." Faith leaned back and looked up at the gibbous moon. "I want to help. I'm so tired of being here, seeing and not doing. I want to kick a little ass."

"I just want to wake up." Buffy shrugged. "I would like a couple slow days. It's getting harder to get around."

"Well, yeah. You're a bus now, not a sports car." Faith smiled.

"I hate that you're alone." Buffy looked around the darkened graveyard.

"Your pet vamp is here. He reads to me." She rolled her eyes. "Like I need big words rolling around in my head. Can you get him something hot and steamy with half naked people on the cover? That I might like."

"First thing on my list, just as soon as I can move again." Buffy tried to shift again, and growled when she failed.

"First on your list ought to be telling G about your great expectations. I'm thinking he has a right to know." Faith's eyes softened as she looked at Buffy's swollen form. "You are going to be a great mommy and I promise to be the auntie that spoils all the little ones senseless. I mean candy and stake your first vampire Barbie, all the way."

"Things are complicated, really complicated. I want to tell him, but I don't want to force him into something." Buffy stopped when Faith rolled her eyes.

"You never could do things the easy way, B. All you have to do is tell the man. Everything else will shake out the way it's supposed to."

"Still stuck here, Faith."


	49. Chapter 49

Giles paced through his apartment. Xander and Anya stared at him while Tara cooked, and Willow cancelled Buffy's birthday party. He forced his resentment of their invasion of his private space down. They were good children, trying to offer comfort, but only one person could release him from this hell.

He could feel her. The thrum of her that always filled him was still there. He pivoted on the balls of his feet and stalked the length of the room. He had tried locator spells and summoning spells until his nose bled and the headaches nearly drove him mad.

"It's been two days, G man." Xander held up a sandwich. "You need to eat. You can't do her any good if you're starved."

"She's turning nineteen tomorrow. Maybe she decided to hide out. She has an understandable aversion to her birthday." Anya shrugged as everyone looked at her oddly. "It was insensitive of Willow to plan a party and to invite mostly men."

"It was not insensitive of me." Willow ground out. "I'm Buffy's best friend. It's the best friend's job to plan the party."

"This guess list makes it look like it is the best friend's job to procure a steady flow of orgasm friends, and I don't think Buffy wants that." Anya crossed her arms under her breasts and glared at the red head.

Giles closed his eyes and pressed his clenched fists against the wall. Willow and Anya continued to prattle on, but he let their voices slide over him. Buffy was missing. Nothing else mattered.

When the phone rang, he grabbed for it, but Xander plucked it from its cradle first. The relief that flashed across the young man's fawas was enough. Giles slid down to the floor and rested his head in his hands. Thanking every benevolent deity he could bring to mind.

"Buffy, you stay there. G man and I are on the way." Xander's words Dragged him back to his feet and sent him stumbling toward the door. The click of the phone and the jangle of Xander's keys sounded behind him as he opened the door.

"I am driving, Giles. She's gonna need you." Xander clapped his shoulder. The warm hand anchored him. He took a deep breath.

"Just get me to her." Giles looked at the flowers a swaying around him. "I need to bring her home."

"Good thing I cleaned out my car." Xander smiled as Giles slid into the passenger seat.

"Did she sound..." He closed his eyes. "Did she say anything about what happened?"

"No. She sounded exhausted. She wanted you." Xander drove quickly through the late afternoon traffic.

Giles let the tears slide down his face, knowing the young man next to him would think no less of him. The world blurred and he focused ahead. His slayer was alive and waiting for him. The ruin of the high school rose before them and his vision cleared. A splash of ruined blue dress on the green grass next to the strangely perfect pay phone.

He opened the door as the car slowed. He could see her clearly. The one perfect thing in his focus. His foot was on the ground then the other followed and he was running.

She was trying to sit up and reach for him at the same time, too weak to support her own body. Then he was on his knees next to her, wrapping her tiny frame in his arms heedless of her injuries. Xander's eager voice faded away as Buffy sighed into his chest. The warm rush of her breath pushed away the pain. He opened his eyes and looked at the soot covering her and the blood crusted beneath her nose.

Common sense returned as he took the first easy breaths of more than forty eight hours. He checked her for broken bones before lifting her, cradled against his chest, and heading to the car. She blinked her lovely eyes up at him lost smiled faintly.

Xander scurried ahead and opened the back door of his car. He had stopped talking. Giles nodded his thanks to the younger man.

"What happened to her?" Xander stared at Buffy, a flash of agony in his eyes.

"She will tell the tale as soon as she is able." Giles kissed her temple and settled into the back seat clutching Buffy to his chest.

* * *

Ethan sighed in relief as Ripper carried Buffy away from the charred building where he was hiding. He wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. It had taken all he had to keep her awake long enough for the rescue.

Fixing the bracelet had bloodied her nose again. Watching her falter and flail had bothered him. Buffy deserved more from fate than pain. The price of magic was sometimes heavy. The two of them had done enough brain damage for the time being. He shrugged and made his way back towards his apartment.

It would be nice to sleep again. Watching her struggle for every breath as Ripper pulled at her power to do more spells forced his guilt to the fore. Shame was not conducive to rest.

Buffy had managed to worm her way in despite his defenses. He cared about the girl and could no longer deny it. He took a deep breath, hoping for once that chaos would not play a part in her recovery.

Between her slayer healing and Ripper's tender care, the girl would be back on her feet and rampaging through his life again in no time. He had to believe it. When this was over, he would welcome a well deserved thrashing. Perhaps his guilt would be assuaged. He stepped out of the shadows and walked along the sidewalk. There was something to be said for warm sun in January.

* * *

Joyce Summers took a deep breath and walked past the lovely flowers towards his door. He would know where her daughter was. He always did. He would know why her dorm room was half empty and why she had left no forwarding address. She swallowed as she stood on the far side of the door from her answers. Prayers wouldn't come any longer.

She had left to find some sanity, to remember what normalcy looked like. What if it had cost her everything? What if Buffy had fallen victim to her destiny while she was playing at being normal?

Her hand felt like lead as she lifted it to the door. She knocked and waited, listening to the scrambling sounds coming from the interior of the apartment. Willow opened the door and blanched.

"Mrs. Summers," Willow nodded and stepped back. "We didn't know you were back."

"I wanted to surprise Buffy for her birthday, but it would seem that I am the one confounded. Do you have any idea where my daughter is living?"

"Actually, no." Willow's eyes dropped down, avoiding contact. "Buffy moved out while you were away. I did some magic and it caused her some trouble, but I think she will forgive me. I mean I hope she will. She did come looking for me when we all lost our voices, so maybe she will."

"Where is she, Willow?" Joyce tried to keep the irritation from her voice. It wouldn't help her here.

"I don't know. She went out to stop some demons from opening the hell mouth and starting the apocalypse two days ago." Willow licked her lips and stepped back.

"My daughter has been missing for two days and not one of you called me?" Joyce winced as her own voice echoed through the apartment. She took a deep, calming breath. "Where is that damned man?"

"He's gone to get Buffy. She called a little while ago. Xander and Giles went to get her." Anya answered, stood, and walked toward her. "Why don't you come sit down? It is much easier to deal with anxiety if you do normal things like sitting and eating."

"Is she okay?" Joyce moved over and sat on the couch next to her daughter's friends.

"No." Anya tilted her head and looked at Joyce oddly. "If she was okay, she would be here with us celebrating her victory with pizza and other forms of nonnutritious sustenance."

"But Giles will have her fixed up in no time." Willow added hastily. "What with the slayer healing and all."

The quiet blonde smiled at her and handed her a plate of food which she ate without tasting. The three girls sat around her and offered no comfort, no more false reassurances. She looked at each girl and tried to imagine being a mother to a child untouched by fate. Did such wonders exist?

The door opened and they all turned to see a grim faced Xander holding it. Giles strode into the room withBuffy clutched in his arms. He was making small soothing sounds as he carried heth past them all.

Joyce felt shoved aside and out of place as she trailed behind them. She could hear his voice, but not the words. She moved a step closer.

"Buffy, please, Love, open your eyes." Desperation leant his voice a graveled edge. "Please, my love, come back to me."

Joyce shoved her fist against her mouth to hold back any sound. She watched as Giles wrapped her daughter in his arms and brought her unresponsive form closer. He chanted something awkward and harsh and latched his mouth onto Buffy's slack one. She shuddered as she took in the scene. The temperature rose suddenly as panic flashed to anger.

Buffy's arms suddenly gripped that man's shoulders and pulled him closer. Joyce took another step toward them. What the hell was going on here?

"Oh, Giles," Buffy sobbed as she panted. "I thought I wouldn't make it back."

"I've got you. You're safe." He stroked his shaking fingers through her daughter's hair.

"I wasn't so sure I'd get out of this one." Buffy's voice still sounded weak. "I was so scared."

"I know, Love." He stroked his hands along her body, but he wasn't checking for injuries. Joyce's temper flared.

"What the hell is going on here? That man should not be touching you." Joyce stepped in to the bathroom and glared at her daughter. "That man sent you out to die."


	50. Chapter 50

Giles glared down into the amber liquid at the bottom of his glass. Driven from his own home by his slayer's harridan of a mother, he nursed his resentment of the woman. Buffy had refused to leave his home, had told her mother to leave with Xander and Willow and the others, but Joyce would have none of it.

He closed his eyes and flinched away from the memory of his love's exhausted face. He was a bastard for leaving her there. Joyce was on the warpath. He grimaced. Perhaps, it was deserved.

"Hello, Ripper." Ethan slid into the booth across from him.

"Leave me alone, Ethan." Giles tossed back the rest of his drink. "You have no idea how much beating the stuffing out of you would improve my mood."

"Your slayer is in bloody danger, but if you can live with that I guess I'll be going." Ethan moved slowly, obviously waiting to be stopped.

Giles grabbed Ethan's arm and yanked him back into the booth. Dealing with Ethan was almost always an exercise in futility, but he had to know about any possible threat to Buffy. Ethan's quick and affable grin grated on his nerves. This night could not get worse.

"Speak your piece and leave, Ethan." He purposefully looked across the bar refusing to meet the eyes that still sparkled with amusement and mischief.

"Is that any way to talk to your closest friend?" Ethan sat back and gestured to the waitress.

"Our friendship is a thing of the past."

"Then one relic to another, try living in the present. Your existence is about making restitution, but what about the actual here and now bits? Randall wouldn't want this. He was such a happy bloke." Ethan stared fondly at the table. "He was the best of us."

"How can those words have meaning to you? You and your damned Chaos, always buggering things up." Giles slammed his hand down flat on the table.

"Oh, so we're on to the religious intolerance thing now? I thought we had learned our lessons. What with the Irish trouble and all." Ethan leaned back against the cushioned seat back with an amused smile.

"This is not about your sad devotion to moral ambiguity."

Your slayer, well, she won't live forever, and you will be left with what? Bitterness? Memories?" Ethan slapped his hand on the table. "Your life with or without her has to be about living."

"My life is mine to worry over and no concern of yours." Giles drummed his fingers on the hard surface of the table.

"Duty and responsibility won't warm your bed." Ethan smiled.

"My bed is no concern of yours, either." Giles tossed back his scotch and turned his gaze to Ethan's. "It never was."

"Pish posh, old man. I didn't come here to dredge up our shared histories." Ethan took a drink from his pint. "I came here to warn you about the threats surrounding you and your precious slayer."

Giles stared at Ethan. The bastard's usual air of malevolence was absent. He sighed. It wouldn't hurt to listen.

* * *

A large crashing sound woke Buffy. She blinked and stroked the sheets of Giles' bed. It had taken three hours to get her mom to leave without her, but she had fallen asleep alone.

Another crash and some garbled growling sounds echoed up from the main room. Buffy wrapped Giles' robe around her body and headed down the stairs to investigate. She looked down the stairs into the eyes of a horned demon.

She reacted on pure instinct, kicking the beast down the stairs. How the hell had a demon that big made it into this place? She looked at the broken railing and cringed. Giles was going to be pissed. She wrenched an iron spindle free and moved down the stairs. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on the demon.

"What did you do with my watcher?" Buffy raised the metal rod up like a bat, ready to swing, as she advanced toward the demon.

The demon growled and waved one hand toward her. It wasn't fighting her. It didn't even seem to want a fight. She examined the creature's giant hand for a moment. Long, thick fingers curled up, begging in the most basic sense. The motions weren't aggressive. It wasn't trying to hurt her. She lowered her weapon cautiously.

"What do you want?" She asked and watched as the creature growled. There was a pattern in there. It was a language. "Sorry, I don't speak your language. Maybe Giles does. Do you know Giles?"

The demon nodded. No mistaking that. She bit her lip and considered her options. The thing didn't speak English, but it understood her. Did that make sense? The demon moved closer to her, and she tensed.

"Is Giles okay?" She looked up into it's very familiar eyes and gasped. The demon shook its head and tapped its chest with one clawed finger. "Giles."

Buffy tossed the weapon aside and jumped into his arms. Giles clutched at her awkwardly. His skin was rough and hard, his arms were bulky and too strong, but none of it mattered. Buffy stroked his cheek and kissed him chastely.

* * *

Ethan stared out the window and wondered how long he had until dear old Ripper came charging in to rip him to pieces. He had the counter spell ready. He had tried talking, but the stupid lug wouldn't listen. Hopefully, this would grab the fool's attention.

This whole mess was buggered, but he was out of time. Buffy needed her Giles as much as he needed Ripper.

He rubbed a hand along his newly shaven face and grimaced. Buffy would never forgive him, but, as much as her disdain bothered him, he had a promise to keep. Things glad gone pear shaped, and they were about to get more so. He closed his eyes and cast his body onto the couch. It would serve no purpose to worry at this point.


End file.
